BR Day 16 - Suspicion

The sky is gray but the day is still warm and humid. Tiff is laid back about practice, more worried about the team’s mindset than anything else. There are definitely two kinds of girls at FUTA: the ones who notice how weird things have gotten since that handful of girls left, and those who don’t care and are just moving on.

If it wasn’t for Lara… and maybe seeing Rebecca that other night before she left, you would be one of the oblivious ones. Hanging around here, getting paid, spending time with Beth—you can’t really ask for more than that.

But you can’t help yourself. Lara is wary and attentive, so is Tiff, and now so are you. You watch everything and worry about everything. You notice things that you wouldn’t have before, like the way that Max is always checking her phone, and the fresh scratches on Lara’s scarred back. Sam put them there. You understand that. But you’re so jumpy now that you have to stop and think about it.

You nervously check in with Tiff after practice, but she has no news for you.

“Look,” she says, scowling. “Just this little delay is costing them tons of money. I promise you that on Monday there’ll be busses of new girls coming in, some dumb shit to make a spectacle about who’s going to which team… stuff like that. And then it’ll go back to normal. Practice, event, practice, match, weekend, repeat.”

You take a deep breath as you stand with her at the edge of the grassy field, watching the girls head to the showers.

“I looked for Rebecca on Instagram and stuff,” you confide. “I couldn’t find her. I can’t reach her.”

“I’m sure she got pulled away by some emergency,” Tiff says. “That, or if she cracked under pressure she’s embarrassed.”

Maybe.

You go to the showers and clean up, enviously watching the way that Lili flirts with Elena. You don’t envy the powerfully sexy couple that they would make, or any of that… just that they don’t seem worried. Soapy water rolls down Elena’s strong back as Lili washes it for her. You need to be like them and live in the now. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and focus on yourself. Beth can help you focus too, but you aren’t going to be thoughtless about it. You can see yourself tonight, on top of her in bed, thrusting into her and just taking out all your stress that way.

Beth will enjoy it, at least while it’s happening… but afterward she’ll know that something’s wrong. That’s not the girlfriend that you want to be. You can do better than that. You just have to use your head and take a moment to think.

You realize that you’re alone in the shower; everyone else is done. The last of them are drying themselves off. You quickly finish up and head out, but the girls waiting for you are not from your team.