Wilbur sneaks into the cave.

“If that slimy wretch is lying about the gold…” Wilbur whispered to himself as he slipped past the snoring troll, “I’ll gut him and leave him for the troll.”

Wilbur patiently made his way to the deep end of the cave and looked around for a ‘blue rock’ as the hobbit described it. He quickly spotted a hunk of stone embedded out of the ground, covered with blue moss. Wilbur carefully snuck over to the rock and looked around its base. A patch of dirt behind the rock stood out to him as it looked a little different than its surroundings. Reaching down, Wilbur easily dug his fingers into the lose gravel. He shifted the dirt and gravel around until his fingers pushed against something solid.

Gotcha, Wilbur thought.

Wilbur deftly picked the object out of the ground. To the mad hobbit’s credit, it really was a ring. Though from the hobbit’s description, Wilbur had thought it would be a thing of otherworldly beauty. The truth however, is much more disappointingly humble. The ring was unremarkable to say the least. It was made of smooth, dull, dark-grey metal. It was nothing but a simple lackluster metal band. There weren’t even any gems on it.

All of a sudden, the sleeping troll let out a booming fart. In the confines of the modest cave, it sounded like a bolt of thunder had just struck the troll. It was so loud that the troll itself was promptly jolted awake from its slumber.

Oh fuck me, Wilbur thought to himself as the troll sat up.

Wilbur instinctively slipped the grey ring onto his finger in order to better hold on to it. Suddenly, he found that the world around him had partially lost its color. Everything was in dull pale hues. Not only that, the sounds picked up by his ears had become slightly sluggish and echoey, as if he was submerged underwater.

Wilbur did not have time to wonder about the new lens which he now viewed the world because the troll immediately turned its head in his direction and their eyes met. Wilbur froze and held his breath. He was caught and he knew it.

Except he wasn’t?

The troll looked away from Wilbur as if it hadn’t seen anything amiss. Slowly, the troll got to its feet and scratched its green leathery butt.

What the hell is going on? Did it not see me? Wilbur thought to himself.

The troll turned to face Wilbur again as it stretched. Once again, the troll’s gaze unmistakably crossed with Wilbur’s. But it carried on as if Wilbur was merely a chip on the cave wall.

Wait a minute, is this troll blind? Wilbur wondered.

The troll started marching groggily towards the cave’s entrance.

Encouraged by the troll’s ignorance of his presence, Wilbur snuck after the troll, hoping to make a run for it once he got outside.

However, just as the troll stepped outside the cave, there there was an ear-splitting scream, “Nooooooooes! The ranger failsss! Stooopid hoooman weakling! Stooopid troll! Give me back my preciousssss!”

Wilbur peeked out of the cave and saw the dirty, naked, pale hobbit jumping up and down furiously in front of the troll.

The troll just looked down on the angry hobbit with a bored expression on its face. After a long indecisive pause, the troll then shrugged and said, “Brakkkfahst…”

With one giant hand, the troll seized the spastic hobbit and shoved him unceremoniously into its mouth. The hobbit’s angry screams were instantly cut short with a single wet crunch.

Wilbur didn’t wait around for the troll to decide on its next course of meal. He scrambled out of the cave and bolted off.