A second kind of confession

Our hearts were so close as we hugged, and I didn’t know if it was the passion of the moment, or the unnatural senses of a skinwalker, but it felt like I could feel hers beating through her chest, the vibrations transferring over to me.

“Grace, I… I’m sorry.”

She pulled back, love at her feelings being mutual being held back just a little by fear at my sudden apology. Sadness and anxiety attacked the pure happiness I’d just felt, as I started to say it; the dark truth that I had to tell her now, if I was ever going to be real with her.

“Alex…?”

“When I said I was a monster, I meant literally.”

“What, no, Alex, you’re not…”

“Please Grace, you have to listen to me! You really have to! I need to be real with you here and now, because I don’t want to lie to you, and I don’t think I can hold back!”

“Alex…”

“I can prove it.”

She stopped, the sorrow and fear I felt reflected back in her expression. I could guess what she was thinking, wondering why I needed to ruin a perfect moment, why I’d react like this, when I was clearly a good guy overthinking things. She’d need to see the truth for what it was…

I took my hand out from behind my back, the spines, in all their disgusting, alien glory, emerging from each fingertip, almost hurting with how distended they were. The physiological punishment of not exercising the skinwalker abilities; the most obvious way yet, the most egregious strategy to **** me to sate this dark hunger.

“I’m a Skinwalker, Grace. I know you know what that is, or at least know of the legends. This is what I meant when I said I was a monster.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, a short pause that seemed to stretch to almost infinity with my nerves and fears forcing each second to feel like minutes. Then she reached out and touched them.

My eyes went wide at the strange curiosity, her index finger tracing along the yellow, bony protrusions, feeling their rough and jagged surfaces. For me it felt equally strange, the small vibrations and otherworldly sensation of Grace’s soft fingertips moving along exposed bone.

“I… I can’t believe it. It’s real… it’s all real…”

Her quiet voice was filled with a peculiar wonder as she examined, the fear and revulsion I expected gone in favor of a strange, stunned acceptance.

“Grace…”

“Alex… you… are you really Alex? Not some other skinwalker, disguised as him?”

“Yes, yes I’m real! You have to believe me, I’m not some other monster, I’m really me! I-”

“I believe you.”

Her quiet voice seemed so calm in this moment, a world away from the usual nervousness Grace usually exhibited. I had to wonder if it was just shock, or something else…”

“You have to be you. A monster wouldn’t care to explain. But really… I… I’m amazed. You know, all my life I’ve loved myths and legends. I liked the history behind it, and the storytelling, but… knowing some of it is real… in a way it’s like a dream I’ve had since I was a little girl has come true.”

She laughed a little, that same wonder suffusing her body language, like how insane this all was had made her forget to be shy for just a moment, far too taken aback to be concerned about appearances and overthinking right now.

“Can you… tell me. How this all happened?”

I couldn’t believe she was open to listening, I’d expected horror and disgust, not this. My words came bubbling to the surface all at once, like a stream bursting out of an ancient dam, returning to it’s natural path.

“Yes, of course! It… it sounds crazy. I mean, I thought I was going crazy. This whole time, my world’s been changing so totally but I haven’t told a soul… okay, so, I was totally normal when I came here to study…”

So then I told her. Somewhere a long the line, we transitioned to sitting again, Grace listening intently as I told her about my date with Lisa, and how it had ended so dramatically. I told her about being a skinwalker, and how it worked, when she stopped me.

“So they… you… wear skins?”

Her expression was a mix of natural disgust, mingled equally by burning curiosity.

“Yes, well, I mean it’s not like I want to!”

That part was maybe a small lie. I’d seen similar stuff in the fetish porn I’d secretly loved, although mostly it was done through a magic pen or a printer than created skinsuits or something. Grace maybe didn’t need to know the details of the weirder stuff I’d found hot before all this…

“Well, they aren’t exactly ‘skins’ either. There’s not really blood or gore, it’s not like the horror that might happen with a knife or something disturbing like that…”

Not that skinwalker fluid wasn’t disturbing, I guessed, but it could be a lot worse…

“… It’s like magic. Really, it is magic, or some science that’s so insane it may as well be magic. These spines are full of a liquid that within minutes can completely turn a full, flesh and blood person into a hollow suit of skin, that when worn completely changes you into them. It can rework size, shape, the voice, even gender…”

“Gender…?”

Grace raised an eyebrow, looking at me suspiciously, yet in a way that was very playful.

“And have you… experimented with this ability?”

“I… uhh…”

Blushing overcame me as I stuttered, feeling the strange reversal of our usual dynamic.

“…I might have used it on Jessica…”

“What?? No way, you turned her into a suit? Did you… wear her?”

I laughed nervously, a face like scarlet as I avoided her gaze.

“You totally did!! I can’t believe it…”

“I mean, you know… it’s not my fault, okay! This power comes with a price tag, like it gets really, really bad if I don’t use it.”

“How… how did it feel?”

I looked up, almost gasping a little at the small, cheeky grin Grace had.

Is she… enjoying this??

“Go on. How did it feel being Jessica? A red headed mean girl?”

“It felt… really good.”

I tried to hide my face in my hands, but just found the spines in the way, reminding me of my predicament.

“I had no idea you were such a pervert Alex… to think the boy I had a crush on has experience running around as a girl. And it… you really became her entirely, right?”

“I could feel everything she could…”

“Pervert…”

My blush was so hot, as she started laughing, a musical sound that sounded extra cute for how rare it had been to hear it until a few weeks ago.

“Well… okay. I guess you really are a monster.”

I looked up, horrified, only for her to stick her tongue out at me.

“Only teasing. Alex, I… I’m glad you told me. And I’m glad you could be honest with me, right at the start.”

“Right at the start? You mean, you aren’t going to leave me?”

“No, I won’t.”

Her soft smile and her gentle words seemed to set fireworks off in my heart as I looked over her, so much gratitude and love suddenly rushing out at once.

“Grace…”

“I meant what I said Alex. You’re the first person to really reach out to me, and talk to me, and include me. I feel like I can be comfortable with you… I think I’ve said more words to you than anyone else here at college. So just because you have a little problem like this doesn’t just mean I’m going to abandon you, okay? And hey, it might even be fun…?”

“Speaking of problems, I… uhh… I have a big one.”

She raised her eyebrow.

“They won’t… uhhh… they won’t go down.”

I raised my hand, with its spines sticking out freely. They really did look unnatural. I winced as small beads of blood formed in the tips of the fingers on my other hand, before those spines burst out too, the skinwalker side of me refusing to hide any longer.

“What, so… they’re stuck like that??”

She looked surprised. I felt it just as much as she did.

“It’s… these powers definitely come with a price.”

I felt so sheepish, as she studied them.

“So, are they stuck out like that forever, or…?”

“I think… they should go down if I use them. I haven’t done anything with them in weeks and weeks, so I’m a little… uhhh… backed up…”

I was blushing again, the double entendre of this whole situation not being lost on me.

Silence fell, my brain too overwhelmed by the emotions of the last few minutes, before I heard Grace say;