I'm not hungry

I rip the sheet off my bed as I scramble back to the headboard and attempt to hide my shame. I realize my mistake almost immediately though as my mom looks at the floor and turns her head to see the picture on my phone better. My heart is beating out of my chest, my explanations, excuses, and apologies are caught in my throat like a massive traffic jam.

"Oh dougy..." My mom says as she shakes her head.

I pull the sheet over my head unable to bare what has just happened.

"I... I... What do you want mom!?!"

She remains silent, I peek through the sheet and to my utter horror she has picked up my phone.

"You didn't ask Gabbie if you could take this picture... Did you Doug..."

I shake my head "Well... I just... I don't wanna talk about it! Please just fucking leave mom!"

She looks up from the phone with angry eyes "Don't you dare speak to me like that! Now I'm taking this, if this is the kind of thing you are doing with it, taking secret pictures of girls, then you don't need to have it."

She pushes a few buttons on my phone and puts it in her pocket. She puts her hand on her hip now "well son here are your clothes, you used to much soap on them so they smell a little extra flowery, next time just let me do it..."

I close my eyes as I do everything in my power not to jump out the window and run away from this, what is quite possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life.

"Ok..." Is all I can muster in my panicked state.

She takes a laboured breath "Alright well... Well dinner will be in an hour, Sarah is staying the night at her friend Josie's house for the weekend and Crystal is off doing god knows what with that new boyfriend of hers, so they won't be joining us... I'll make something simple since it's just the two of us tonight."

I shake my head "I already ate..."

My hand instinctively moves to my full belly, Selena's thick smelly jizz is still digesting in there, even after all this time I still feel so damn heavy, so damn full. I wonder how much she came after I passed out...

She huffs "Well too bad, we obviously need to have a talk and I really don't want to eat alone."

I curl in a ball under my sheet "Fine..."

Without another word she leaves my room, I feel hollow inside as the silence overtakes me. this isn't happening, I just simply refuse to believe it. Have I stepped into the Twilight Zone? Am I really experiencing the worst day humanly possible? What did I do in a past life to deserve karma like this?

I spend the next hour pacing around my room and cleaning, I'm just so anxious I have to do something. I do my best not to think about what happened but it's literally unavoidable. Finally the time is here, my mom calls me from downstairs like she has countless times in the past. Usually it's a welcome sound, now it brings nothing but dread.

As I slowly descend the stairs I smell fish, I crinkle my nose as images of Selena's dick rotate through my mind. My mom is already seated, both plates made. It seems to be some kind of steamed fish with mashed potatoes and salad. Her fingers are intertwined and are gently sitting on the table waiting for me. Her long blond hair is done up in a messy bun, her make-up is perfect as usual.

"Hey mom... It... Smells good..." I say as I sheepishly sit down.

"Thank you dougy..."

There is a silence, neither of us sure how to start.

"Doug... I hope you know I'm not mad at you for masterbating... Like I've told you and the girls countless times it's an important part of self care and nothing to ashamed of whatsoever."

I nod as I stare at my plate, unable to meet her gaze "I... I know..."

She takes a deep breath "Good... Now tell me Doug why did you take a picture of Gabbie while she was sleeping?"

I give a little whine at the directness of her first question "I... I don't know... She just looked... Nice... I didn't intend on using it the way I did... I swear I never have before today... It just kind of happened..."

She unfolds her fingers and begins to tap the table "I see... Well that picture is pretty far down in your gallery, you obviously took some time to find it... So what made today so different? Why look it up now?"

I feel a spike of panic pierce my heart, I can't very well tell the truth, not that I even fully know or understand it myself. I guess picturing Gabbie while I kissed her mom's... Thing... Kind of sparked my thoughts of her... But it's alot of other things too.

"I just haven't relieved myself in awhile... And... And I've been thinking about Gabbie a little lately... And... And... I don't know..."

She continues to tap "Huh... Back when you cancelled that blind date me and Selana set up for you two you specifically told me you only view Gabbie as a friend... Were you lying to me that day?"

I shrug "Sort of... I guess..."

Her eyes narrow "What does that mean Doug?"

I squirm in my chair "Its just... That's how I viewed her most of my life... Here lately though... Well... I've just noticed how attractive she is... I've sort of been dreaming about her every now and again too and... I don't know (I shake my head coming back to my senses) What should it matter though? I mean... It makes no difference..."

My mom sighs "So why cancel the date Doug?"

I grimace "Seriously mom? You can't think of any reason why I would do that?"

She scoffs "No Doug I can't, enlighten me."

I feel my own anger bubbling "Really!?! Fine! I get that you and Mrs. Selena have this rosey view of me and Gabbie's relationship because we are your kids and you watched us grow up together... Trust me I haven't forgotten all those jokes you and her used to make about us getting married one day... But we're not kids anymore and this is the real world now mom, how about you join me in it?... Gabbie is stunningly beautiful, and smart, and athletic, and popular. She could have any man or woman she pleases! Why the hell would she want to get with her dumpy next door neighbor? Huh? I don't know if you've noticed but me and her don't even speak anymore, when we pass each other in the hall we don't even make eye contact... You know what though mom? I accepted that a long time ago, accepted that our friendship is in the past, that I don't really know her anymore, that she has moved on to bigger and better things. I accept it and I'm genuinely happy for her... You know who can't accept it? Two pushy over involved mom's who need to mind their own damn business and stop filling my head with ridiculous fantasies of things that could never be! I know you two thought you were doing something romantic and clever, but trust me when I say that whole blind date idea was cruel! Fucking CRUEL! I'm just glad I found out about it before you got Gabbie involved! I can say without a doubt that would have been the most uncomfortable dinner in history, aside from maybe this one!"

I'm breathing extremely hard now, I never intended on saying that much, or saying it that loudly for that matter, it just kept pouring out of me. I've never put a lot of the those thoughts and feelings into words before, I honestly didn't know that's how I felt till this very moment. Strange how only after saying things aloud do you truly see them... Truly contemplate them...

My mom's finger stops tapping "Cruel? Dougy all we were doing was fixing up two young people who have clearly liked each other for a long time... I'm not an idiot Doug, I know how pretty she is and that you two aren't as close as you used to be... But seriously Doug you aren't giving yourself enough credit... You are extremely handsome honey, and that's not just coming from your dumb old mom, that's what other people say too. Just the other day Selena was telling me that at that wedding we went to with her a few weeks ago she heard a whole table of beautiful older woman who were lawyers talking about how much they wished that they could take you home with them... Those woman were both stunning and rich, they could have had any man at that wedding, hell any man in this city! But their eyes were glued to YOU!... I don't know what has caused you to view yourself as some unlovable, unfuckable nerd who is destined to be alone for eternity but it simply isn't reality and I'm sick of it! Seriously Dougy I worry about some girl taking advantage of you on a daily basis, even Selena has expressed the same concerns so it's not just me being overprotective... Girls these days watch a lot of porn and get a lot of bad ideas you know? So have some fucking self esteem and join ME in the REAL WORLD won't you? (She takes a deep calming breath as she ramps down her aggression) Now look, I'm sorry if the blind date thing caused you stress, but Doug you obviously have feelings for Gabbie and after talking to Selena she made it clear that Gabbie has had similar feelings for you... We might be your mother's but we are also your friends and we know you both extremely well, we just want you two to face each other and find out if there is something there, is that so damn bad!?!"

I cross my arms as her words bounce around my brain. I don't believe half of them, the other half is just her being a doting, overbearing mother. She can say whatever she pleases, I know Gabbie doesn't feel that to way about me. And God! Every time she said Selena's name my heart skipped a beat, earlier today still feels like a weird fever dream to me.

"You don't know me as well as you think you do mom... So stop acting like you do..."

She raises her eyebrow as she reaches in her pocket and pulls out my phone, the picture I was jerking it to is still on the screen.

"Oh trust me I realize that now Dougy... I never would have guessed in a million years you would take a picture like this..."

I grit my teeth "I told you... I never intended to use it that way..."

She nods as she stares at it "I believe you sweetheart, I do, but you did use it that way and I'm concerned..."

I scoff "Concerned about what!?!"

She sets the phone on the table "Well I was concerned that this wasn't the first time you did this, took secret pictures, but after looking through your photo gallery I've surmised that this was probably a one time spur of the moment thing."

She went through my stuff!?! I don't really have anything to hide but it still doesn't feel good.

"So? What's your concern then?"

She frowns "Well first off I want to know... In the fantasy that you were clearly enjoying about Gabbie earlier.... Was... Was Gabbie awake in that fantasy?"

My eyes get big with shock "What!?! Of course she was! Mom you don't think I... No... No! she was awake and wanted to be... Intimate... With me... Jesus mom what do you take me for!?!"

She gives tepid sigh of relief "Ok honey I believe you... I also want you to know that even if you were into that kind of thing it's just a fantasy, it would be ok... Heck I've know girls who do sleeping play with their boyfriends all the time, it's really not that big of a deal as long as everyone in consenting..."

"Ah! Mom! Stop! I wasn't picturing any kind of... Play!... God!"

She plows ahead "Ok... Secondly I wanted to speak to you about your porn history..."

What!?! She went through my history!?! I almost always use a private browser, she shouldn't be able to see 90 percent of what I've watched, just the ten percent from times when I forget to switch browsers... Damn what did she see?

"What uh... What about it... You always said watching porn is healthy..."

She nods "It is honey, I just found something interesting..."

"What mom... What keyword do you want an explanation for? Let's just get it over with..."

She takes a deep breath in from her mouth and out through her nose "It's not about what you searched for, it's about what you didn't search for..."

I'm perplexed "What? What do you mean?"

Now its her turn to shift uncomfortably "Well honey... I can clearly tell you like girls from your searches... But every video I saw was missing a very important part (she hardens her resolve and asks a hard question) Tell me the truth, do you have some kind of phobia concerning girl cock? Like does is disgust you or something?"

Those words send me into a full panic sweat, in a flash all I can see is Selena's cock as it approaches my face, I'm helpless against her monster and I know it. Her smegma cakes my tongue, I'll never be clean again...

"WHAT!?! NO! That's ridiculous! I'm not talking about this mom just stop!"

She glares at me with sad eyes "Ok honey..."

I push my untouched plate away from me "Are we done here?"

Her finger again begins it's tapping "Almost... I had one last question concerning this whole thing..."

I huff impatiently "Well?"

"I saw that you zoomed in on the picture, at least a little bit, but you didn't cut out Selena... You can be honest I won't be mad and would never tell a soul, especially not her... But was Selena a part of your fantasy Doug?"

I stammer "No! No... I... No... I would never think of her like that... She's like a mother to me, you know that..."

She nods "So you haven't been stealing her underwear? She's missing a lot of it apparently and I thought maybe..."

I interrupt her before she can finish.

"WHAT!?! NO! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?! I WOULD NEVER!"

She can tell by that response that I'm telling the truth, I honestly know nothing about any missing underwear. This is a quiet little culdesac, who around here would do such a thing?

"Honey please calm down I believe you... It's probably a maid looking for expensive lingerie to steal or some creepy pool boy who wants to sniff panties... I didn't think it was you I just needed to be sure."

I scoot my chair back "Gah... So seriously are we done here? Can I have my phone back?"

She taps her finger on it "I think I'm going to keep it for now, consider it a punishment for not only for having taken that picture, but also the disrespectful way you have spoken to me today... Oh and best believe I have some chores for you tomorrow, If you do them well and without complaining I'll consider giving it back... Sound fair?"

I roll my eyes "I guess..."

She smiles "Good... As far as leaving goes you are welcome to, though I really wish you would at least eat a little bit of your food, you are a growing boy, you need be filled up constantly so you can grow strong!"

I grimace "Trust me mom I'm plenty full..."

She shrugs "Ok Dougy I'm just saying... Oh and hey! Just so you know I'm gonna be going out with some of my girlfriends for drinks tonight so I won't be home till late, I'll put this plate in the fridge for you so feel free to heat it up later if you get hungry."

I stand and walk away from one of the most uncomfortable conversations I've ever been a part of.

"Sure mom... Have fun...."