Pizza Hangovers? Is That A Thing?

Mona

Mona wakes up in an interesting tumble of bodies. A small cat-girl is in her arms, nuzzling between her breasts. They are both wrapped up in muscly green arms. Mona feels nipples rubbing against her shoulder blades and instantly decides that she likes it. She also likes the firm, yet squishy thing between her legs. She grinds down on it a little.

“Morning, Mistress. Wanting to start the day by giving me a thigh job? I approve,” a voice, husky from sleep, murmurs behind her ear.

Mona feels her cheeks catch fire. “Ah, hi, Ootah! Sleep well?”

Ootah: +8 XP (See Mistress Naked)

Ootah gives her futacock one good thrust between Mona’s thighs. Mona and Mineko are both wet enough down there to where that felt really, REALLY good. “Very well. You make a fun thing to cuddle with at night, Mistress.”

Mona blushes harder. “Thank you?”

Mineko squirms a little, then pants, “Good morning, O-ow-Mona. I appeared to have overslept. I should have had breakfast prepared by now and have woken you up with a cunnilingus session that displays my utter devotion to you. I am sorry for failing you. I accept whatever punishment...”

Mineko: +8 XP (See Mistress Naked)

Mona knows where this is going and starts petting Mineko. The cat-girl purrs, promptly forgetting that she thinks she is supposed to be punished. Ootah slides her length from out between both girls’ thighs as she makes her way to the living room. Mona enjoys her leaving. Her butt is fantastic!

Andromeda seems to be in the living room, as she loudly questions, “Are you going to put on clothes now?”

“Clothes before breakfast and a shower? Really?” the orc responds.

Mona stops petting Mineko and grabs a quick shower. When she gets out, she wraps a towel around herself and heads to the living room. Andromeda (back in her pajamas) and Ootah (still enticingly naked) are on the couch, watching some Harem Hotel (What else could they be watching?). A lone woman with some kind of sci-fi sniper rifle on her back is blasting some guy’s face into chutney with a revolver. What kind of season is that?

Andromeda answers the unasked question, “That is Mattie’s transformation gun challenge entry from Tyalangan’s season. I’ve been watching it looking for clues for the endgame foe.”

Ootah strokes her chin, noting, “I could have asked about that last night. Care to clue me in?”

Noises from the kitchen distracts Mona from the conversation Andromeda starts. Ophie is shouting, “Mona, come get your cat!”

As Mona enters the kitchen, she sees Mineko hissing at Ophie, “I am Owner-Mona’s maid slave, not you!”

“Bad kitty!” Mineko is instantly on her back, showing her belly and pouting. Ophie arches an eyebrow. Oh, that was a mistake? “I mean,” Mona continues, kneeling down to rub the nekomata’s belly, “while you are my personal maid, Ophie works for the hotel. And neither of you are my slaves.”

“What are you orders, O-o-Mona?”

“Find me a cute skirt?”

The nekomata scurries away. Mona sighs and turns to Ophie, “How bad of a mistake was it to tell her that she was being a bad kitty?”

“Could have been worse. Your ridiculous order from last night is in the dining room.”

My Van merch! Mona scrambles over to the dining room. My Wai-Fu Quest T-shirt and foam T-Rex hat from Hibachi Dino await! Mona happily scoots her towel down to wrap around her waist, then slips on the T-shirt. Donning her cap, she re-enters the living room. Her outfit seems to physically hurt Andromeda. When Mineko comes out with a miniskirt so short it might as well be a belt, Andromeda says, “Absolutely not!” before Mona could. If the skirt would cinch my gut, I’d be fine with it.

“Good try, though, Mineko.” Positive encouragement is important.

Ophie calls everyone to breakfast before Mineko tries again. Overnight Oats (in her Sumiku mug!) and Breakfast Salad for Mona. Eggs and meat for Ootah. Breakfast fish (Is that a thing?) for Mineko. And Andromeda sits to watch them eat.

“Compliments, Cousin.”

“Yeah,” Mona says, mouth half-full of Breakfast Salad (after, of course, using Prestidigitation to flavor said Salad to taste like more Overnight Oats), “Ophie is a really good cook!”

“Not as good as me,” Mineko grumbles, poking at her fish, then louder, “Are you sure...”

“Yes, Mineko. Eat. It’s good! Or would you rather have me hand-feed you?”

The cat really looks like she’s is considering her options, her tails whipping behind her. She eventually grabs the fish with one of her cute kitty paws and bites down. Then, she devours the rest of it whole.

“That can’t be good.” Andromeda notes. Mona agrees.

“Fish! Fish! Fish! Fish!” Ophie pushes her breakfast fish over to Mineko. She happily eats it, too. Well, she is a little underweight...

Daphne

Daphne is busy setting up Dungeons for Damsels, expecting many, many contestants today after the morning meeting. She has her squid breakfast ready and, as a treat, some of Tyalangan’s special mermaid cold brew coffee.

So, when the show-runner’s future boyfriend Stanley walks in nervously, she is too busy feeling jittery to notice.

“Ahem, Ms. Daphne? You got a letter and Ms. Tyalangan approved it for an emergency delivery.”

MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Daphne jumps over her counter and starts to pull herself over to Stanley, incapable of waiting for either Stanley to walk over nor for her weird human legs to form. The stapler cowers a little. Daphne offers her biggest, cutest grin, “It’s okay, Stanley! I love mail!”

Stanley tosses the letter towards her and runs away. Daphne scrambles for it. She excitedly opens it, starting her wiggle dance. Said wiggle dance goes into overdrive once she sees who the letter is from.

To Daphne, from Hardric.

I’m sorry.

I may mention the dimensional fuckeries of being in a long first day, or vagaries of getting in too much stuff at same time, and tired enough the evenings to not be able to get started but... excuses.

I’m sorry, because even when explicitly solicited, at the end of the day, I couldn’t get my head in the game long enough for it to matter.

I do appreciate your wish to make a correspondence. Someone interested in RPGs here, while not being an example of the worst this show has to offer? Sign me up. Especially after becoming part of it. I just wish I could muster the drive and concentration to pull it off again on the scale I was used to.

So, I’m left with trying to make amends. I do hope we do get to meet mind you, not just the letters. Can’t believe you need abduction to meet RPGers to campaign with, but it seems like this is a thing. GM or player, either suits me. Besides fantasy franchises, I’d admit being partial to Shadowrun 4th Edition, SW Saga Edition, and Mutants and Masterminds. It would be interesting to see who else this may attract amongst the crowd out there. Been too long since I got to be part of a RPG group.

I also do hope our own Harem can manage to shake out as well as the one you are a part of did. Can’t say we have had the occasion to chat together a lot by the (relative) time I send this, but it should go well. Normally. I might be pessimistic at times. Then again, do it well enough and you only get pleasant surprises from life.

Keep going,

Hardric.

PS: My best wishes to your family, and the Mistress of this season and her Harem. Can still do this even if I didn’t send a full fleet of letters away.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Hardric! I’m just so happy you wrote to me! I’m sorry for being grumpy about it; I didn’t realize that you went from audience member to contestant! It’s not your fault you haven’t been able to keep up with other seasons. It is nice that Wrynn is letting you do some writing while you wait for your season to start properly. I’ll put in a good word for you on the intranetwork communication thing! Let me know if you need anything in particular! We have perfected sending megalodons through the network mail, if that would help?”

“Oooooh, trying to get an inter-season game going should be fun! Sam (from The HH) was thinking about running something at some point! I’ll get her to send you an invite! Sam, and Tracy, and Rose and her friends and you and me and maybe I’ll drag some wives with me! Or maybe Richard and some of his girls will want to play? Eh, we’ll figure it out!”

Yay! I need to write back, once we have the game group figured out! But, for now, I gotta get back to my room! This letter has a frame waiting for it!

Tyalangan

Tyalangan is filled with a sense of satisfaction. Once she saw that Hardric wrote in, it was a simple thing to deliver it. She wishes she could watch Daphne’s eyes light up in recognition, but she has a show to run. Daph will surely be bragging about it for weeks.

Mona is sitting on her throne, wearing her Harem Hotel: Genesis Response merch, utterly oblivious to how painfully tacky the outfit is.

The contestants are all here. Andromeda, Tessa, Jenny, and Caoimhe are all embarrassed about the giant foam T-Rex head hat; Andromeda should have gotten used to it by now (as Ootah has). Gaia (who rolled Margay today, which is almost like a cross between an ocelot and a housecat) finds it hilarious; her pet collar from last week is on and visible. Winter is teasing Caoimhe about it. Craig is trying his best to not look at her; that might be a smart tactic, given his nascent survival strategy, but, when Mona picks up on it, it will fall apart like all his others. Mineko thinks everything Mona does, including the hat, is perfect, which is the yet more evidence that Tyalangan should send another battalion to go civilize the slavery-based cultures across the sea. Tegan is, surprisingly, okay with the foam hat; she is offended by the Wai-Fu Quest T-shirt instead.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the Host begins, “Welcome to the first day of our second week. I see that everyone is all bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Everyone had a good night last night?”

Most nod. Mona gives some thumbs up from her throne.

“So, new week, new twists to mix things up. You already saw your bounties for the week. Any questions?”

Craig can’t help but snarl, “Do you think I’m going to do any of that... stuff?”

“Oh, you CAN learn. Good for you. Well, you can expand your horizons or you can see how far 20 BP can take you this week.”

Ootah snarks back, “I’ll let you give me a blowjob, Craig, provided you get a big enough ring gag in first. I don’t trust you to not bite out of jealousy.”

Mona asks, “Wait, your room bounties are about giving blowjobs?”

Ootah nods, “The dailies are, at least.”

Tegan grumbles, “Perverted. Are any of the daily quests not perverted?”

Tyalangan quips, “Nope! Moving on. We have three new things to discuss. First, we would like to announce that Tina’s Tubular Transformation Tweaks ‘n’ Twists is now open. A transformation keeping you down? A really good transformation didn’t win a vote? Head on down to Tina’s. My bonny bunny will tweak you to your heart’s content.”

“So I can buy Breast Deflation? Or upgrade that VAST curse to make it less awful?” Tegan asks.

Tyalangan mentally notes that the vicious vixen did spend all but one of her SP before breakfast, just to shrink her breasts as small as she could to spite the audience. She also notes how the girl is rubbing her thighs together. The lust effects of magic use is always rougher at the lower levels. The Host answers, “The former, if you can afford it. Or, if you can convince the audience to help you out. A couple of new items have been added to the audience shop to change the price for a particular transformation. The later is technically a class feat, so that would be a Daphne question.”

Tegan smiles. She has NO idea how expensive that transformation is going to run her. Tyalangan continues, “In addition to buying losing transformations, if you had a transformation for at least a week, you can head to Tina to purchase upgrades for it. That does include your Test transformation, Winter, and your Boobs for Brains transformation, Jenny. The coffee table thing is not eligible, as elimination transformations work different and your dryad transformation is suppressing it anyways.”

“What would upgrading transformations do, exactly?” Andromeda asks, hand raised.

“Make negatives more tolerable or make positives more positive. You can make requests, within reason. Again, see Tina for specific details.”

Tyalangan can see the gears turning in Tegan’s head. I should move this along. “Our other two new features are found with Daphne at Dungeons for Damsels. In the more interesting category, we have delves! Party up with your harem-brothers and -sisters and get more practical experience. XP, BP, and PP can potentially be found therein. A party will consist of 3 to 5 members of the same level. Sign up with Daphne and give it a whirl!”

Tyalangan watches as Craig’s eyes widen at the mention of PP, only to watch them squint into a scowl once he heard about the party composition rule.

Andromeda’s hand is up and the Host just nods for her to ask without even looking, “What, exactly, do these delves consist of?”

“Depends. Combat arenas, Party vs. Party sparring, brief little scenarios like the first challenge. You set it up with Daphne when you party up.”

Tegan’s hand goes up, “So, if we wanted to practice fighting you, we could?”

“You get one shot at a delve per day. You want to convince some of the others to waste it like that to get a full party, I’ll be glad to oblige. You win the scenario and you get rewards. You lose, you get nothing. Keep that in mind.”

Tegan shuts her trap at that.

“Third, and least interestingly, Daphne has opened up multi-classing. To qualify for a particular multi-class, you must have a +2 modifier in the appropriate stats for both your primary class and the secondary class you are considering. Your secondary class cannot be leveled higher than half of your primary class. So, if your primary class is at Level 4, you can’t level a secondary class above Level 2. Talk with Daphne is you are interested.”

Tyalangan pauses briefly, then wraps up the morning meeting, “Finally, it is Winter’s date tonight. How shall the little drow do? First native to this realm to have a date on the show. Shall we see local knowledge make for a more interesting escort experience? Stay tuned.”