Pivot

“I had an early breakfast with a friend.” Aaron blushed and walked briskly past his daughter.

“Yeah? And lost your clothes I see."

"Where were you yesterday that you needed my car?!" Aaron said frantically trying to change the subject.

"I was meeting a friend. Did you go out with Ted again?" Sarah was not the type to let him off the hook so easily.

"No."

"Mom, I know I said be nice to him but...are you and he dating?"

"God no!" Aaron snapped. "Just drop it okay? I have to get ready for work.”

Aaron hurried to the shower to wash the smell of sex and pancakes off of him and change into clothes that actually fit him. While he showered he couldn’t help but worry about his lunch appointment. Brad said it wasn’t a big deal but he had heard that before. Honestly, he didn’t know why he wanted him to see his friend, but it must be serious if it was rushed so quickly.

This worry followed him all morning to work. During work he only had two thoughts battling for dominance in his mind. His worry for his health and his daughter warred with the thoughts and memories of seeing Brad naked. No matter how hard he tried to shake either thought he couldn’t. He wasn’t gay, he knew that. He had to stop, get his libido in check. Maybe that’s what was strange in his bloodwork. Something that simple was probably fixed with a shot or some medication and he could go back to being normal and leave Brad out of his fantasies.

Lunch time came and Aaron hurried to the office of Dr.Ridley. After a short five minute wait he was finally called back, “Miss Fletcher?”

“That’s me.” He stood and followed the nurse along the carpeted hallway to the doctor’s office.

“Miss Fletcher?” he asked, standing from behind his large oak desk.

“That’s what it says on my driver’s license.” He laughed awkwardly at his own inside joke.

“That’s good to hear. Please, have a seat.” He gestured to the comfortable chair opposite his own desk. “Now, you are working with Brad, correct?”

“Uh, yes Dr.Ridley.”

“Ok. And you can call me Will. Now, Brad called me because he found something he says is a ‘hormone imbalance’. Did he happen to mention my specialty?”

“Uh, no. I suppose I didn’t give him the chance.”

“Well that’s fine. So, what I do is called endocrinology. I help fix hormone issues in men and women. And, in your case, trans patients as well.”

“Tr-trans?!”

“Yes ma’am.” He looked at Aaron quizzically for a moment then opened a folder on his desk.

“D-does B-brad?” Aaron’s throat closed up, did Brad know he was a man in a dress?! Did he think Aaron was trans? Or was Brad just...gay?

“Don’t fret now. I took the liberty of double checking your blood work myself, and while he is a fantastic physician this is my specialty. What he saw as a hormone imbalance was, well, someone who had not taken hrt medication but is obviously very feminine and beautiful.” Aaron froze like a deer in headlights. Will reached out and covered Aaron’s hand with his own. “Brad doesn’t know anything, unless you told him outright he would have no reason to know. You should count yourself very lucky. You pass very well. ”

“Yeah,” he laughed wryly, “lucky.”

“But, the reason I made time to speak with you today was that Brad told me you had just moved into town and I know how difficult it can be to find a doctor who specializes in trans health.”

“You...want to be my doctor?”

“If you would like, I know that sadly there isn’t another doctor with my specialty within...a hundred miles or so.”

“W-wouldn’t Brad ask questions if you suddenly became my doctor?”

“I treat many types of people for hormonal as well as health in general here. And you would only have to see me about once a month to check your levels.”

Aaron tried to think of a way out, he knew Will expected him to jump at the chance to have a local endocrinologist since he believed Aaron to be trans. The least positive idea in his head was to admit the truth, this had all been a misunderstanding...but then what if it got back to Brad? Will wouldn’t be his doctor. So he could inform his friend that his office girl was really a man. Then what? Would Brad lose his mind? Would he fire him? Or even...call the police? Would he have to go to court and explain the insane situation he found himself in? No one would believe him. They would paint him as a manipulator! Then prison for fraud! And Sarah would be all alone.

“If you can promise Brad won’t find out.”

“I won’t share anything with anyone.”

Aaron **** a smile to spread across his face. “Thank you, doctor.”

“Please, call me Will.” Will turned and opened a cabinet. When he turned back he placed three pill bottles on the desk. "How much research have you done on trans-health?"

"Um…" Conflicting thoughts bounced around Aaron's mind; if he told the truth and said none at all Will might find it strange, but if he said he knew everything about it….he might actually ask questions and expect an answer to which he would have none. The only favorable option would be to take the middle road and not commit to anything. "Not a lot I'm afraid. I've done some research but I'm not one hundred percent."

"Okay." He opened a small box and pulled out an even smaller vial, "This, is your estrogen. This is injected once a week, you can do it at home or one of the nurses or myself can help you."

"I-I can do it myself." He lied. Aaron had a deep fear or needles. Something about being stabbed made him uneasy. But there's nothing to fear if you're not actually going to stab yourself.

"Okay, this needs to be injected into a, well for lack of a better term, an area with more fat. That's why most do it in the buttocks or thighs." Aaron nodded pretending to take mental notes. "I can show you that later. Now, this." He sat a small pill bottle in front of Aaron. "This is progesterone."

"That's what pregnant women make right?"

The doctor smiled, Brad had mentioned she had a daughter, and a widower, "Yes it is. It will help stimulate your breast growth."

"I thought that's what estrogen did."

"It does...think of it as putting nitrous in a car for an extra boost." Aaron didn't know why he asked, it's not like he was going to actually use any of this, "Now these bad boys are spironolactone. It will help reduce testosterone levels. "I'm starting you on a moderate dose to give you time to handle any side effects."

"Such as?"

"Mood swings. Irritability. Increased libido. Decreased libido. Breast tenderness. Sore joints. " As Will continued the list of possible side effects he couldn't help but think real trans people really go through all of this? "But, the price is well worth it."

"I suppose it is." Will fixed him with a quizzical look, worrying Aaron. "It is. I'm just...scared... of how long it will las-take. It...I guess it is t immediate?"

"No. I am sorry but to my knowledge it will take months before you see significant results. Of course each patient is different so I can't tell you exactly when and how you'll develop and at what rate." The doctor gave his patient a sympathetic smile. He hated having to tell the men and women in his office that sometimes science...isn't an exact science. "But, we are always learning more about transitioning and if I hear of anything that I believe will help you in any way I will let you know immediately."

"...thank you doctor." Will just seemed so genuine and caring it felt as a weight on his heart. If he accepted, continued this farce it would be one more sin against his soul that he could never account. "Doctor…"