Penelope Cruz

I have always wanted to have sex with Penelope Cruz ever since I first saw her on screen. She had an exotic and alluring look and a killer body.

I headed into the school corridors and summoned up Penelope Cruz as she had looked in Vicky Christina Barcelona.

“Cruz,” I said, “I need a word.”

Penelope came over to me.

“I have been looking at the immigration documents you submitted to the school” I said in a hushed voice. “Turns out that they’re fake.”

A panicked look came across Penelope’s face. “Please don’t tell…”

“You have two options,” I interrupted. “Option 1: I go to the police…”

“No!”

“… they arrest you for fraud, and you spend ten years in prison followed by an indefinite spell in an immigration detention center. Then you get deported to Spain, and where I understand you have a big tax fraud case waiting for you.”

“Not that, please, I will not survive prison.”

“Option 2: you do two weeks detention and obey all my demands.”

“That one.”

I took Penelope to detention. As I was about to shut the door, I thought… why not the other star of Vicki Christina Barcelona? I summoned Scarlett Johansson, wearing her red Golden Globes dress, who followed unquestionably behind Cruz.

“Right ladies, welcome to detention. The next stage of your punishment is…”