Paperwork

The man waxed lyrical on his memories while Danny **** a smile and nodded to act interested. Danny managed to get him the menu, but the man kept talking while he was looking through it, moving on from Allen to talking about his second wife who apparently would never have allowed him to go to a place like this, not that he particularly minded but it was the little things you know? A place like this has nice young polite ladies who are happy to talk with you and what’s the harm in that?

Eventually, the man gave his drinks and meal order, and Danny went to punch it in, feeling like he couldn’t deal with the guilt of leaving an old man without his food. In doing so, he thankfully noticed Steven at the group table talking with Tim. Tim seemed to leaned over and listening intently to Steve, but before Danny could check on things, the family’s order was ready.

The tray of food was different from the tray of drinks, but even with only three food orders Danny still had to use strength and balance. It came so close to tipping over (the last thing he’d need), but he managed to make it to the table and put the plates in front of the parents.

“And Burgers for you!” Danny smiled and placed the last plate in front of the son.

“Thank you,” the son said, “You’re pretty.”

“Well thank you,” Danny replied, not sure what else to add, getting a mental flashback to the photo with his feminine self on display and being reminded again about how everyone was seeing him. “Would you like anything else?”

“Um… no thanks.” After ensuring the parents were satisfied, Danny took the opportunity to get back to the group table.

Tim had left, but Steve was looking over a bunch of papers in front of him, pen in hand.

The mummy gave a “Looking good!” comment which Danny ignored while he moved over beside Steve. “You were talking with Tim?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, we got everything sorted,” Steve nodded.

“Really? All sorted that easily…” Danny’s brow furrowed, “What’s that?” he indicated the papers in front of Steve.

“Oh, they’re nothing. By the way, were you born in August or October? I can never remember.”

Danny leaned over sharply, swinging breasts distracting him momentarily. At the top of the paper was printed “Hooters Employment Form.” The ‘name’ section had already been filled out with “Danielle Carver,” Steve’s pen was hovering over ‘Date of Birth.’

“STEVE!”

“Yes?”

“What is this?”

Steve gestured at the paper casually with his pen hand, “Oh, just some paperwork, so August or October?”

“How is this sorting things out?”

“Well, you didn’t want to work a job that you didn’t get paid for, and I’m rectifying that. See? Payroll details are on the next page. Tim says this shift will definitely be included so you should be fine!”

“STEVE!!!” Danny threw out a hand to grab the paper, but Steve shifted it out of reach. “How could you?”

“Danielle?” a female voice called out, Danny turned to see Rachel, hand still frozen reaching across the table, its light nail polish still unfamiliar to Danny. “The order for this table is ready, just thought you should know.”

Steve smiled. “Well, better get our order Danielle. Don’t worry I’ll take care of this.”

Danny was annoyed by Rachel’s interruption, but it didn’t look like he’d be able to make another shot for the paper right now. “Sure,” he said with a smile, and soon was walking back with Rachel beside him.

“Danielle, I know you’re new to all this, so I need to tell you you should never lose your temper in front of a customer. Like, never!”

“He’s my friend,” Danny replied defensively.

“Oh yeah, friends can be the worst, but as long as you’re wearing the uniform you’ve got to play the role of a Hooters waitress. Hooters waitresses are always polite, always smile, never get visibly annoyed. Even if someone’s driving you nuts, you’ve gotta find a way to roll things off with a joke or a casual remark.”

“Right,” said Danny exhaling. He wasn’t in the mood for a lecture but Rachel was nice enough he figured it was best to just agree and bring it to a close. “I suppose I wouldn’t want Tim seeing me act like this.”

“It’s not just Tim. Someone could take a photo, or a video, and suddenly it’s all over the internet. I swear there are people out there just waiting for a Hooters waitress to mess up so they can get their 5 minutes of e-fame. You could spend a week being the nicest, most polite waitress out there, and then if you lose your temper for 2 seconds, that immediately becomes all you’re ever known for.”

Danny gulped, shocked by the sudden realisation. There were already photos of him dressed like this, but of a clip of him becoming viral? Thousands of people finding amusement in whatever “out of character” moment Danny accidentally slipped into. Not to mention the few that would try to dig up Danny’s true identity? “Shit! I mean, I didn’t think of that.”

“That’s okay, just so you’re aware. There’s always things you don’t expect when you’re new to something,” Danny nodded in response, and Rachel peeled away. By this stage they’d reached the place where the orders could be picked up.

Danny was definitely not planning to spend a week working here, but Rachel’s point was still valid. He picked up a heavy tray of food, and balancing it carefully, made his way back to the group table with a smile on his face.

Steve was still writing in the form, but the food was for the other side of the table and Danny decided not to risk it. He leaned over to put the tray on the table and once again gave the mummy a good look at their boobs “Oh mamma!”. Frustrated and embarrassed, Danny focused on moving the plates to the right places and headed back.

Two more trips got more remarks. “Thanks, you’re really good at this,” Jack said in a way arguably meant to be complimentary.

“Thanks,” the ghost said quietly.

“Thank you for your service,” the soldier said.

By this stage, Steve had gone up to the head of the table and was talking with Trish and Linda, but Danny remembered Steve’s order and put the right plate in his place. The last tray included Trish and Linda’s food, and as he approached, saw that they were all in intense conversation and looked up as he approached.

“Dani,” Trish smiled. Danny put the plates down, practically able to feel her using a feminine version of his name. A mandatory smile still on his face, but a bit more genuine from seeing Trish. Steve still had the papers in front of him, but right now Danny focused on Trish.

“Trish, all good?”

“Yeah, Steve was just telling us how you wanted to work here full time!”

Danny’s smile froze, “Oh, well I did want to take a closer look at those papers…” He fixed Steve with a glare behind the smile. He didn’t want to risk another attempt to snatch the papers out from in front of him, but maybe he could pressure him to hand them over so he could dump them in a bin.

“Oh no need,” Steve smiled. “We’ve got all the details down.” Looking at the papers on the table in front of him, Danny saw he wasn’t kidding. Social security number, address, bank details, all accurate for Danny.

Danny’s eyes widened, “How did you do all that?”

“Hey, you’ve got friends who care about you and want to make sure you’re not distracted on your first day on the job!” Steve smiled. Trish and Linda seemed to nod too. Of course, that’s why Steve was at the end of the table! He had to ask them for the extra info.

“Look, thanks, but I’m not sure this is valid if someone else fills it out,” Danny replied, trying to excuse the situation.

“Oh anyone can fill out the form itself, the only bit you need to fill out is right here,” Steve said, tapping at a signature field. Even the date field beside it had been filled in. “You just need to do that and everything with your employment is official.”

Danny exhaled in relief, thankful this ‘joke’ had some limit.. “Well if it needs my signature…”

“Danny, can I talk with you for a second?” Linda exclaimed, standing up instantly.

Danny paused, not sure where Linda was coming from. He didn’t want to leave Steve with paper that had his confidential information on it, but Linda had a severe look in her eyes that he felt it was better not to ignore. “Okay?”

The two moved to a slightly more quiet alcove of the restaurant.

Linda didn’t waste any time. “Sign the employment form.”

“What? No. I don’t really want to work here, this is all a prank by Steven,” Danny said in a hushed voice through a **** smile, hoping his pleading would be listened to.

“Of course it’s a prank by Steve, I helped put your costume together, I know you have no intention of working here.”

“Okay then. You understand.”

“But you’re still gonna take it.”

The way she said it made it sound to him that she was telling him this was what was going to happen, like it was a done deal. “What?” Danny hesitated. “Why would I?”

“Same reason anyone takes any job: Money.”

“Does it pay that much?”

“With tips, a decent amount yeah.”

“Well I’m not sure money is the issue here.”

“You literally took out a loan from Trish!”

Danny gulped, not realising Linda knew that.

Last few months had been tricky for Danny. Let go from a job, and his roommate had been signalling they’d be moving out.

Among all this, he’d been talking with Trish more, for emotional support and good company. The loan was something Trish had offered when she realised Danny had trouble paying rent, and they’d even floated the idea of Danny moving in with Trish and Linda if the worst came to the worst.

“Look, I care about Trish, I’m going to pay back the money.”

“And this job will help you do so.”

“I can get a different job, one more suited to my… gender”

“Sure, but until then you work here.”

“Why are you so insistent?”

“Why?” Linda seethed, and Danny realised he wasn’t the only one putting up false pretences of politeness. “Because while you care about Trish, she cares about you. She’s actually planning to give you another loan because she figured you can’t pay another month’s rent. And while I don’t outright object to you moving in with us if you need help, I do if you’re going to turn down a job that’s offered right to you. I detest freeloaders.”

“I’m not a freeloader.”

“Then take the job.”

“It’s not just about money though.”

Linda fixed him with a glare. Danny looked around, they hadn’t gained much attention yet, but the longer they talked, especially with Tim somewhere around… He lowered his voice.

“It took a lot of work to make me look like this, both you and Trish. I’ll need to look like this every time I…”

“Okay I’ll help.”

“...what?”

“At least until you can do it yourself. I mean, most of it is costume pieces you can throw on, but makeup… yeah, that’s probably going to take a few sessions until you get to grips with it. I’ll give you lessons and apply it until then.”

Danny paused, “I…” This was a terrifying prospect. For the first time, he had to recognise that he’d be working at Hooters not just tonight, but the night after, and the one after that, and after that…. The realisation hit him and he took a step back.

“You okay?” Linda sounded genuinely concerned, but Danny’s head swam. Linda was right about his financially dicy position, even this whole night was meant to be a fun way to put his mind off things, but how had things spun out of control? How had a silly joke against Steve spun into him being **** into a job he had no clue about intended for the opposite sex?

He raised a manicured hand and scratched his extra long hair. He licked his lips and tasted the subtle lipstick. He shuffled his feet in the comfy sports shoes and felt his stockinged legs rub against each other.

“I think…. I think I need to lie down.”

Linda signalled for help.