Nostalgia

• Kaitly

It happened only a week ago, although now it felt so distant and strange it might as well have happened in a past life. Claim day had divided her world into two, one before and one after, yet still she remembered…

“Here, I’m holding your hair so don’t worry. Just.. Yep.” And Kaitlyn did her best to steady her fellow student and keep her hair away from her face as she noisily threw up on the toilet bowl. Tiffany let out a low whine before retching and throwing up again. Kaitlyn crinkled her nose and looked away, but she stayed by her side.

“I’m sorry, Kait. I’m so… I dunno why I did it…” Stammered the other girl, tears budding in her eyes. “I shouldn’t have drunk so much, I’m so sorry, I’m the worst… Uhhh…”

“Shh…” Kaitlyn patted her shoulder gently. “It’s ok. You’re alright now.”

“Thank you for…” Tiffany swayed slightly despite being on her knees. “Thank you. For getting me out from that… From that party when I…”

“You looked too drunk to know what you were doing,” said Kaitlyn. “It’s dangerous to be with people you don’t know in that state, ok? So if you ever are in that situation call me, like you did now. Please. I’m 100% serious.”

“You’re the… You’re the bestest friendest ever…” Hiccuped Tiffany. “I love you. But not in a lesbian way. Umm… I dunno if you’re a lesbian or not. Sorry… Should I have said that?”

“Don’t worry,” Kaitlyn **** a smile. “I’m just a good friend, I get it.”

“Me and… Me and my friends wondereded if you like girls. Um. I kissed a girl before, but I’m not a lesbian. I don’t think,” mumbled Tiffany. Kaitlyn let out the briefest of sighs.

“I’m not a lesbian,” said Kaitlyn firmly, a hint of impatience in her voice. “And even if I were, I wouldn’t take advantage of you right now. So don’t worry about it, ok? Do you feel like you can get up and lie down on the bed? How’s your stomach?”

“Feel sick…” whined Tiffany.

“Ok. Then you can stay here. Lemme just…” And Kaitlyn flushed the toilet before crouching down next to Tiffany, still holding her hair.

“Umm… Can I ask you something, Kaitlyn?” Asked Tiffany.

“Sure.”

“Why did you come bring me back to my dorm? And… Being nice to me?”

Kaitlyn hesitated. “Helping someone intoxicated get home safe is the bare minimum,” she said. “It’s no big deal.”

“But… But we barely know each other… Umm… At least me… We didn’t talk much… And I’m a terrible person…” Tiffany hiccuped again, wallowing in the self-pity of the drunk.

“You’re NOT terrible. And even if you’re not my friend, I still wouldn’t leave you in a dangerous situation like that,” replied Kaitlyn firmly. “And besides… Us girls gotta stick together, right?”

“You’re the best… Best girl… Uhh, and I’m the worst… The worst girl ever…”

“Pretty sure that’s not true.”

“I am… I went to the party even though I shouldn’t… My parents told me… They told me to stay away… And I shouldn’t have… Shouldn’t have… I drunk… And I even…” Her lips trembled and she looked down at the toilet bowl like she was considering drowning herself there. “I… I smoked pot…”

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” said Kaitlyn, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. But when she saw how sad and guilty Tiffany looked her expression softened. “Was that your first time at a party?”

Tiffany nodded slowly, looking glum. “My parents… They always told me… They wouldn’t let me… Go. I shouldn’t have gone… Uhh…”

Kaitlyn felt more pieces of the puzzle falling into place. “It’s ok, these things can happen. Although you should probably be more careful next time- ”

“I’m a bad daughter!” Wailed Tiffany. “Uhhh, I shouldn’t have drunk anything… I’m… I’m never doing that ever again…!”

“It’s not so bad,” reassured Kaitlyn. “You can still have fun at parties. Gotta be a little more careful, that’s all.”

Tiffany’s response was to cry, retch, and then throw up in the toilet again. Kaitlyn let out another quiet sigh. This is not how she wanted to spend her evening, but sometimes doing the right thing meant getting up early in the morning and going to a counter-protest to affirm trans rights… And sometimes it meant missing out on a party and holding her classmate’s hair as she threw up. At least Kaitlyn never regretted doing the right thing… Mostly.

Kaitlyn’s phone buzzed and, after making sure Tiffany was alright, she checked her messages and saw that Ethan had replied to her, telling of how his rehearsals were going and being very cute in his eager excitement for it. The way the withdrawn and self-conscious boy transformed when the subject of acting and movies or plays came up never ceased to make her smile. She typed a quick reply, to avoid leaving him on read.

“Who… Who is that?” Asked Tiffany, unsteadily peeking over her shoulder. Kaitlyn put her phone away quickly, but it was too late. “Ohh. Is that a guy?”

“He’s a friend,” said Kaitlyn a little too quickly. Which was true, but only made her sound more suspicious.

“A… Boy… Friend?” Teased Tiffany with a giggle, a marked difference from how she was crying only moments before.

“Only a friend.”

“Do you… Like him?” Asked Tiffany, grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s my business,” replied Kaitlyn, firmly.

“Kaitlyn’s got a B-O-F-R… Umm… No, that’s not it… Uh… B-O… Y- F - R…”

“What are you, seven?” Scoffed Kaitlyn, somewhere between amused and exasperated. “Come on… Let’s try and get you to bed.”

Only one week ago. It felt like ages.

And now, Kaitlyn sat beside her father and opposite to Ethan, who looked back at them with a tired, blank expression. He had always been a bit withdrawn, unless he was acting or talking about his favorite things… But now he looked like he wanted to shut off the rest of the world. Or most of it, anyways… Behind him were his three women, hovering close to him half-possessively and half-protectively, staring defiantly at them.

His women. His harem. Kaitlyn hated that. She hated it so much. Ethan now felt as distant as her past life of helping a drunk acquaintance and trying to score a date, like there was an invisible gap that separated them and only grew worse as they drifted further and further apart.

“So… What Anna’s mother said? It’s all true?” She asked him, trying to keep her own conflicted feelings hidden. Things were tense enough as they were.

Ethan nodded affirmatively, but said nothing. Her eyes were drawn to the gun he held in his hands, and how tightly he gripped it.

Jasmine and Roslyn were also in the room, but close to the wall and far from the table, listening to everything in mute discomfort. Neither were very assertive by nature, and the situation seemed to make them even less willing to draw any attention to themselves. Only Zarina was gone, saying the events had been too much for her. She was lying down in bed now.

“I’m sorry. That you had to go through that,” said George, a sad expression in his eyes. “And… The two women…?”

“We asked him to claim us, as I said,” spoke Carmen, her voice and her eyes firm, as if daring him to disagree. “Ethan saved us both from that horrible man.”

“I want to hear Ethan describe what happened,” replied George. “If that’s ok?”

Ethan fidgeted, before nodding again.

He told the story, haltingly and pausing every so often. He described Anna discovering her father’s body, how they traced Anderson back to his house. Their ill-fated ****, and how Nadia had come to their rescue… And how Ethan had shot Anderson and unclaimed the Riviera mother and daughter. He went silent for a moment, before finally continuing on how Carmen and Anna took a moment to talk to each other before they finally came to him with their request. The three women sometimes tried to interject, but George always politely reaffirmed that he wanted Ethan to tell the story. Kaitlyn understood why. Claimed women were compromised.

She hated that too. Mistrusting women on principle went against what she always believed in… But that, too, was part of the old life.

“That was… A very rough situation,” said George with a low voice, tension so thick you could taste it in the air. “I understand now why you did what you did. And… I don’t blame you.”

Kaitlyn was slightly surprised at this. She imagined her father would get angrier considering she and Ethan were now under one roof…

“However…” Continued her father, and everyone saw the hesitation, the struggle in him getting his words out. The tension grew tighter, as she held her breath. “However… Ethan, I am not comfortable with you staying in my house anymore.”

Kaitlyn’s eyes widened, but Carmen spoke before she could say anything.

“WHAT?! After all he’s done? How could you -”

“Stop.” Ethan’s voice was quiet, but Carmen immediately went quiet. Anna opted for a different approach, reaching for her owner’s shoulder and clutching at his sleeve.

“Ethan… You did nothing wrong! It’s not fair!” She protested.

He looked back at her with a sad expression. “Don’t defend me,” was all he said. But Anna recoiled as if she’d been stung, and all three women’s anger quickly melted into quiet shame at having made their owner upset. Kaitlyn felt a wave of revulsion grip her, seeing how servile they were, despite herself.

“Please understand,” pleaded George, pain in his eyes. “You’ve claimed three women now, for the sake of protecting them. That… That’s a pattern. And I have my daughter’s safety to consider.”

Kaitlyn felt as if her ribcage was switching between boiling hot and freezing cold as her thoughts twisted. “Dad…?” She began, trying to put her thoughts into something coherent.

He nodded quickly at her before turning back to Ethan. “Of course, I’m not going to kick you out right away. If you need to stay the night, you can. And you can take the food you brought with you, of course. I’m not a monster. But I… My daughter is too important to me. So please. -”

“Dad!” Kaitlyn shouted. This time it stopped him in his tracks, and he looked at her. Her hands were shaking, but she got up from her seat, rallying herself. “I don’t want this.”

George squirmed, looking uncomfortable. “Kaitlyn, please…”

“No,” she shook her head. “That is wrong, and you know that is wrong. I know you’re worried about me, but… This isn’t you.”

“But- ” He began, but she cut him off.

“Didn’t you always tell me to stand for myself? Not take shit from anyone? And to do the right thing, even when it’s not easy?” She stared him down, and he looked away, uncomfortable. “Well, turning Ethan away? That’s not the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy that more women in our group are now claimed… That scares me, to be honest.” She took a deep breath. “But Ethan was also the one who helped me get here unclaimed! Free! Unlike so many other poor women. And Ethan was the one who volunteered to help Anna, even when he didn’t need to. I saw him put himself in danger for Nadia, only last night. He doesn’t deserve our mistrust.”

Ethan looked up at her, a mixture of surprise and relief in his eyes. They looked tired. Her father didn’t look much better. “But, sweetie… If something ever happened to you…”

Kaitlyn took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself. “Ethan?” Grab my arm right now, please.”

Both men snapped back to look at her, shocked. Even the claimed women seemed taken aback.“What…?” Stammered Ethan, confused.

“Kaitlyn?” Asked Jasmine, her first word in the entire conversation. She sounded frightened.

“No, Kaitlyn! Please, don’t -” George got up from his chair…

But Kaitlyn moved away from him, presenting her arm and wrist to Ethan, while staring him down. “Ethan, grab my arm, right now, and don’t say anything. Do it now!” She commanded, making her voice as firm as possible. Ethan blinked but, without saying a word, reached and grabbed her arm.

“Please don’t do this to me!” Begged George, panic in his voice. “I promise - ”

“Alright! Let me make one thing clear!” She said, her voice loud enough for everyone else to hear. “I don’t want to be claimed!”

Everyone in the room was focused on her. She took another deep breath, before speaking. “I don’t want to be claimed by anyone, and not by you Ethan. But if you wanted to, you could ignore my wishes and claim me now. Dad would probably not be able to do anything if you kept me as a hostage, and you could have the house or… Whatever else you wished. This is a prime opportunity. I’m putting MY life in YOUR hands.” She looked at Ethan, whose eyes darted back and forth as he gripped her arm. “So, what will you do, Ethan? Was I right to trust you?”

Everyone held their breath for a moment, and Kaitlyn’s glance darted from Ethan, who was frowning and weakly gripping her arm, to her father who was quietly panicking, looking at her with **** eyes, to Jasmine and Roslyn as they seemed to understand her gambit. But Nadia, Anna and Carmen? Their expressions were different, almost… Hungry?

“Not going to claim you,” said Ethan, quickly releasing her arm. “Unless you wanted,” he added, looking at her cautiously.

“Which is not going to happen,” she replied in a tone that brooked no disagreement. She then looked at George and tried to smile. “See? I’m fine. I told you we can trust him.”

“Goodness… Feels like I aged ten years right now,” he replied, rushing to her and wrapping his arms in a tight hug.

“I’m fine…” She reassured, patting his back, her voice a bit quieter. “Sorry for scaring you like that. But I had to show you.” They broke off the hug and she grinned her usual grin, confident, a bit cheeky even. “You didn’t raise a silly, weak daughter that can’t defend herself. If I trust someone, there’s usually a good reason for that.”

“Clearly you’re braver than me… Just don’t near give me a heart attack again, please,” he replied, adding a nervous chuckle of his own. He then turned to Ethan and tried to find the right words. “You… You can stay then. If my daughter vouches for you so much. And you know that I… I never really wanted to…”

“It’s ok,” said Ethan. He then looked at Kaitlyn. “Thanks. For… Still trusting me.”

“Of course,” she grinned, feigning more confidence than she had. “Just doing the right thing.”

And when he smiled she almost wondered for a moment if it might still work out between them. If she could get past the three claimed women thing, if they could still figure it out, get into a relationship as equals. Maybe she could…

“Thank you, Kaitlyn,” said Anna, smiling at her. “For sticking up for us. Appreciated.”

And like that, the idea vanished in her mind, like an illusion. A mirage that fades as you approach it. No, that would never work. Not while those three were at his beck and call. She was not comfortable with sharing. So that dream was dead in the water.

That’s something else she missed, from the distant past of a couple days ago: the hope for a relationship on her own terms. That’s something else that was now gone.

• Nadia

“Alright…” Begun George, his voice hesitant. “Since you’re staying with us Ethan, I guess it’s time to tell you all… But I think it’s time for you girls to leave the city.”

“What? Why?” Asked Kaitlyn. Nadia noticed she was still defensive. The girl wanted to have her opinion heard, respected. And she was not willing to be guided like a sheep, this or that way. Nadia respected that, honestly. And she agreed with the punky girl on one thing:

She would make a great girl for Ethan.

If she was claimed, her father wouldn’t dare go against them. He might dare to protest, or even try something if he felt brave enough… But he would fold the moment his dear daughter put a knife to her own neck, she was sure. Not only that, but Ethan obviously liked her. Admired her, even. They had been friends from before, so that made sense. He probably harbored at least a crush on her. And even leaving out all these benefits? Nadia could see Kaitlyn was tough, and smart too. Having her devote that sharp mind of hers to making Ethan happy would be amazing! Claiming the girl was a no-brainer…

Except that Ethan would never do it. At least not without a lot of molding and manipulation for him to go that far. Well, manipulation was a harsh word wasn’t it? It was more of a… Gentle push. Making him be a better master… and making him happier in the long run.

But that was far from simple. So for now, Nadia bid her time.

“The city is getting very dangerous,” said George, letting out a tired sigh. The old man looked like he didn’t get enough sleep. Probably true. Maybe that made him temporarily more ****? Nadia filed that fact for later. “And the stuff with… Anna’s mother and… Well, that proves it. It’s too dangerous here.”

“Isn’t it dangerous everywhere?” Asked Jasmine, her voice tentative and low, as if afraid of even bringing up a point. She relaxed slightly after the conflict with Ethan had resolved, but did not look any happier for it.

“Well, yes…?” Said George with a frown. “But not all places are the same. I’ve talked with other guys from different substations, in different towns. Smaller cities are less affected, especially ones with a lot of older people. Not that there’s no claiming going on… I’ve been told that still happens, but it’s a lot… Calmer. People know each other better in small cities, so that’s one thing. Less people too. And older people are more likely to not have smartphones, which means they missed that Source message.”

“I don’t know…” Jasmine muttered, biting her lip. It seemed she struggled to say what she really wanted, and it took Kaitlyn smiling and encouraging her before she spoke out. “The place my family lives? It’s kinda more in the outskirts, in the suburbs… And sure there’s less rioting, but it’s not great. The news still spread, just slower, and most women in there are now claimed… Including my mom. My… My dad told me he was afraid someone might take her, and all his friends pushed him to do it. It’s like… If everyone is doing it, then it’s not wrong, you know? And people talk about… About fathers claiming their daughters. Or setting them up with a bachelor, and not always one her age…” Jasmine’s shoulders slumped. “I… I don’t want to live there. I really don’t.”

George scratched his chin, wincing. “I’m so sorry to hear that. And let me be clear, I’m not making anyone go anywhere or… Or kicking anyone out.” He glanced at Ethan as he said this, before turning back to the rest of the girls. “You’re all welcome to stay as long as you want… But it’s not safe here either.”

Kaitlyn’s father grew somber, looking down at the table as he explained. “I’ve heard stories of men going door to door, looking into homes. Forcibly opening them. It’s not even safe to not have a man in the house, you know? Things have calmed down somewhat, but there’s some **** people out there, and some ruthless groups too.” He sighed. “Can’t rely on police either. As far as I can tell, half the **** broke off to protect their loved ones and the rest formed... Basically a gang. Some of them claimed a bunch of women too. But there’s an even bigger problem coming up...”

“Food.” George drummed his fingers on the table nervously. “I tried grabbing some food on my way back here, y’know, stock up on supplies. But… First supermarket I went to was in the middle of being stripped clean, people fighting for cans of soup, spilled shit all over the floor. It was… Chaos. Tried another supermarket and found it had been taken over by a group of people. They had blocked all the entrances and pointing guns at anyone trying to come in.” He sighed. “I finally found a store that wasn’t fully looted, that tiny mystic place at crescent alley, remember? Well, they sell mostly magic crystals and that kind of stuff… But they also had organic cookies and honey. I… When I went in the store was a mess. Like there was a fight there… But some food was still there. So I… I took what I could carry.” He shook his head, a hint of guilt in his voice. “But looting stores can only last for so long. And then? How are we going to feed everyone in the city?”

Nadia began to understand his point, and found herself agreeing with it. “So, you think it’s best to go to a place with lots of food?” She asked out loud. “Maybe a place where food is produced? A fishing place or a farm…”

“I mean… Yeah?” He shrugged. “I’ll be honest, I have no idea where is safest right now. Or where people are more likely to get food soon. Maybe all this mess will end quickly once the government figures stuff out and food shipments keep coming… But I’m worried. And maybe it’s best to be cautious now, than regret it later. You know?”

“Even so, where would we go?” Asked Nadia, trying to keep things practical. “I imagine traveling is as dangerous as staying in one place right now, especially once we have to stop and rest. How will we know if a place is safe?”

There was a moment of silence as people considered her words, and she could almost taste the fear they brought. Good. Fear made people off-balance, made it easier for them to consider different options, ones they might not otherwise choose. And Nadia considered what was the best way to take control of this group, and make Ethan the leader. It was clear that the unclaimed women here respected him, even if the news that he had claimed two more women made things more complicated. But Kaitlyn coming to his defense bode well. George was older and a man, which theoretically gave him more power in the group, but personality-wise Kaitlyn was the true leader of the bunch. And if Nadia could convince her to follow Ethan, one way or another… But Ethan’s well-being and long term suitability was also a concern. George brought up some good points, and Nadia had to consider these as well, as she plotted what would be the best way for him to not only survive, but thrive. To live like a king in this new world.

Maybe she was ambitious, yes, but was there a point in living any other way?

She had been that way, even before. Back when she was ‘free’, a word that now felt almost distasteful to Nadia, before she knew the bliss of true loyalty that being claimed had brought her.

“Oh. Morning, Nadia,” mumbled Sabrina, stifling a yawn with her mouth as she walked out of the bedroom. Her face was still a bit swollen from sleeping too much. “Going to the gym?”

“Back from it already,” replied her roommate as she took out her socks and threw them in a small container, before putting on new ones. “Want to squeeze in a jog this morning rather than do it on the treadmill though. Still have time before morning class.”

“Gym AND jogging before eight a.m?” Sabrina winced. “Ugh. How do you find the energy?”

“You know what they say, sound mind in a healthy body.” Nadia smiled. “Actually, there’s proven benefits to exercising that go beyond just physical - ”

“Yeah, yeah, still too early for class, miss psychotherapist…” Interrupted Sabrina, hand waving at her friend before she opened the fridge, glared at it, and took out a carton of milk and drank out of it without bothering to get a glass.

“Psychology, actually,” clarified Nadia, smiling at her roommate, unbothered. They were used to each other by now. “More studying how people think, less helping them deal with problems.”

“Right, right…” Sabrina sat down, still with the milk carton in her hand. “But… You said you were doing a double-major, right?”

“Yeah, I’m doing biochemistry as well,” Nadia nodded.

“So you’re studying twice as hard, and you still find time to go to the gym and keep in shape and I KNOW you also go to the gym again in the evening and… How?” Sabrina sounded almost upset; she looked down at herself and grumbled. “I still struggle with my one course and I haven’t even lost the ten pounds that I said I would before getting into uni…”

Nadia put a hand on her roommate, trying to comfort her. “Sabrina, you shouldn’t compare yourself to me, or to anyone. If you want to improve, you should compare yourself to you from the past. And maybe… To who you want to be.”

“Hmm…” Grumbled Sabrina, not sounding convinced. “And how do you manage to relax, after doing all you do?”

“I get an hour or two to myself every evening,” said Nadia with a shrug.

“An hour or two?” Repeated Sabrina with disgust. “What if there’s a party? What if you want to stay out late?”

“That would mess with my sleep schedule,” Nadia replied, grabbing some earbuds from her bag and putting one in her ear. “Besides… Parties are not my thing.”

“Do you even have a boyfriend…?” Grimaced Sabrina.

“Not yet, so you’ve got me beat there,” Nadia smiled back at her, trying to keep the peace with the woman she shared a living space with.

“You barely have a life of your own!” Protested Sabrina, pointing at her with the milk carton. “You study and you work out and… that’s it? Where’s the point in that, if you’re not enjoying life?”

“I do enjoy life,” replied Nadia firmly, a hint of annoyance now creeping in. “But I do it on my terms. You can’t have everything all at once, you know? Right now? I choose to focus on building good habits and building my career. I will have time later to focus on finding a partner. I choose to do this, and that’s MY choice.” She softened her tone slightly as she added, “I won’t **** you to live like I do, yes? So don’t tell me how to live either.”

“Alright, alright, sorry…” Sabrina waved an imaginary white flag. “You know how it is with me and mornings… I didn’t mean to be a bitch.”

“So long as we get along,“ said Nadia, smiling politely again. But she glanced at her phone and frowned. “Sorry, but… I have to leave now if I want to get my steps before class.”

“Sure. Have fun,” said Sabrina, taking another swig at the milk carton.

Nadia smiled again before saying goodbye and leaving the house. She put her other earbud in and pressed play on her phone, which began to play the audiobook she was listening to: “How to make friends and influence people”. The title sounded scummy, but Nadia found herself enjoying the psychological insights that it brought, even if some of them sounded rather obvious.

And so she began her morning jog. Nadia couldn’t control what the future might bring, she thought. And that mass phenomenon that had affected only women and put them in a coma, or a trance, for hours… Including herself! It showed that there were still mysteries in the human mind she didn’t understand. But she could control how she could prepare for the future. And that challenge was one she was ready to face, now and always.

That was before, of course. In her past life, before she was claimed. And honestly? Nadia preferred her new life so much more. The joy that she got from serving Ethan, from making him happy, it eclipsed any of her paltry achievements as a cairn would be dwarfed by a mountain. There was no comparison.

For Ethan’s sake Nadia would happily forgo her health, her body that she worked so hard. If he commanded it she would gorge herself and not exercise until she ballooned in weight, if it pleased him. She would never learn a thing or say anything smart, nothing but a loyal, cock-sucking bimbo for the rest of her days, if it pleased him.

Of course the reverse was also true. She would train until she dropped from exhaustion and would study without food or rest, if he commanded it. Anything, to make him happy. And that is what made her new life so much better.This endless drive coupled with overwhelming joy.

She did not miss her old life one bit. But her diligence, her ambition. Those still remained, burning deep inside her like warm embers. And she would use them in her most important mission, making Ethan truly happy, and allowing him to be the master that he wanted to be, deep down.

• George

The group was silent, as everyone considered their situation and what would be the best way to be safe and secure. The world felt dangerous and uncertain, and his daughters’ well-being was on the line. George sighed internally, uncomfortable with the whole Ethan situation. His daughter chose to believe him, now all he could do was hope that she was right. Not that he didn’t understand her point, Ethan didn’t sound like a bad person, however…

Their thoughts were interrupted however, by the most unlikely of sources: Roslyn, still with her back against the wall close to the corner of the living room silently raised her hand, as if asking permission to speak. Jasmine was the first to notice her.

“Umm… What is it, Roslyn?” She asked.

The other girl hesitated as everyone turned to look at her, before speaking out. “I kinda live in the sticks, about an hour’s drive away from here. And, umm… My uncle? He has a farm there. Or close to there. There’s cows and… fields. So… Maybe that would work?” She closed her mouth for a moment, but the silence that followed was so overwhelming that she felt pressured to fill it. “Umm, I’ve met my uncle a few times, and went to the farm twice before. It looked… I dunno, like a farm? And my uncle is a nice guy. Never heard anyone say anything mean about him. Umm… But I don’t know if he’s still ok, or… If he’s claimed anyone or… But, yeah...”

She went silent again, but the group seemed to consider her words in earnest.

“You think he would take us in?” Asked Kaitlyn?

“And do you think he could feed everyone here with what the farm makes?” Asked George, who rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I don’t know much about farms…”

“Uhh... I don’t know much about farms either,” replied Roslyn. “I didn’t grow up in one, I just lived… Sort of close. I think it’s a fairly big farm though? Not as big as some of his neighbours. He once told me that his is relatively small. But still, I’ve been there. It looked like a lot. He had chickens, cows, a lot of fields… and even a small vegetable patch for his own use!”

“That… Sounds like a good amount of food,” admitted George. “And I’ve no idea if the city will keep getting its food like it was supposed to. So… This sounds promising! Can you call your uncle and ask how things are there? And ask if he’s ok receiving all of you girls… and Ethan. Not me though.”

“You don’t want to come with us?” Asked Nadia, probing him further. George sighed, wary of the claimed woman. But there was no harm in letting them all know. “I am staying behind and working on the power grid. With all this mess going around there’s never been a busier time. Some of the crew have already left, and the rest are trying to put out a hundred different fires, while communicating with folks from different parts of the country. It’s… A lot.”

He took a deep breath, some sadness creeping into his voice. “I… I have to do it. I can’t leave them behind, leave everyone behind. If the power grid goes down this situation goes from bad to worse.” His voice wavered. “I can’t do it. Can’t turn my back on people.” He then turned to Kaitlyn and added, “and I would feel a lot better if I knew you were safe while I was working. And I worry that… This house will get less safe with time.”

Kaitlyn nodded, looking uncertain. Then she smiled and looked at her friend - damn! They all looked so young! “So, Roslyn. Think you can call your uncle and ask if he can home, feed us and keep us safe? I mean, I don’t want to impose, but if you could vouch for us that would be massive.”

“And I have a few tools and supplies I can give to him. If he does,” added George. “Along with the big van I brought from work. I’m sure they’ll find some use in that.”

The young girl blinked, her eyes magnified by her glasses. “Sure. I can call,” she replied, looking uncertain.

And so Roslyn retreated to the kitchen to make the call, and their group dispersed. Kaitlyn went to check on Zarina with Jasmine while Ethan and his women all gathered together in the living room. The women seemed to be comforting and encouraging him, one placing a hand on his shoulder, the other on his back, in familiar intimacy. George retreated to his bedroom and briefly wondered how far Ethan had gone with his women, but then shook those thoughts away. Brief flashes of things he saw on his way back from work, women servicing men or having sex openly, made him shudder when he thought a man like that might be near his little girl…

He looked down at the nightstand beside his bed, and the portrait on it showing the woman beside his younger self, smiling happily as she hugged him. God, he missed her so badly. She would know what to do in a time like this, he was sure of it. If any woman could fight this new world out and figure a better way, it was her…

Years ago, a younger George groaned and pushed back his chair away from the table, which was covered in text books. “It’s hopeless,” he declared. “I don’t have the head for this kind of stuff.”

“Bullshit,” replied Erin as she smiled warmly. “If I can get my diploma after giving birth to our girl, thanks to a certain someone thinking we were both ready for it - ”

“Which I admit was being real optimistic. Not denying it!” George sighed before a smile appeared on his lips. “But… It didn’t turn out too bad, did it? Even if little Kait…”

“Cries, poops and pukes everywhere?” Finished his wife, but there was no anger in her voice. “Yeah, not too bad. Guess it was worth sticking around.”

George shook his head. “I can’t do this, Erin. Working my nine-to-five, taking care of Kaitlyn when I come home… And still taking these night classes. Something has gotta give.” He sighed, closing his eyes. “Guess you’re gonna be the breadwinner after all. Heh. Although my electrician job is not too bad, y’know… It helps. At least it pays some of the bills.”

Erin was silent for a moment, before she wrapped her arms around him from behind, her warmth radiating in that tender hug. “You can stay an electrician and I would still love you, dummy.”

“There’s a but coming at the end of that sentence…” He grumbled, not opening his eyes. Her arms felt nice.

“But… Are you really going to be happy like this? Just giving up?”

“I know I won’t…” He grumbled. “But I’m not as smart as you -”

“You’re plenty smart!” She interrupted him, squeezing a little harder with her arms before she brought her lips to his ear. “And I’ll prove it.”

“Oh yeah?” He asked.

“Yup. All you need is a little encouragement. So…” She licked her lips, and he could hear the smile in her lips as she spoke. “If you study good all week, then on the weekend after little Kait is asleep? You can do me in the ass.”

George let out a small noise, between a laugh and a gasp, and he felt blood rushing to his face, as well as to… other places, as he considered her words.

She laughed softly “Sounds good, huh? Me lubing my ass all up, nice and smooth, before letting you slip inside and riding you like a cowgirl in heat. Hmm? Does that sound like a nice incentive?”

“Well… When you put it like that…” And George was smiling, despite himself. “Maybe I can study this stuff for another hour.”

“Good boy,” she pulled back from the hug and stifled a yawn, a far contrast from her sultry performance just earlier. “Gosh… I think I’m going to bed now. It’s been a week and a half.” She looked down at him and smiled, before adding, “but trust me when I say: I know how hard you work for me. And for little Kait. And I appreciate it.”

“Couldn’t do it without you,” he smiled back, before looking down at the dense text about safety standards in electrical engineering.

Oh yes, he missed her. Sometimes a little. Sometimes so hard it hurt, like getting hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. But there never was a day where he didn’t miss her. George sighed and sat on the bed. It was still made for two people, even after all this time. At first he couldn’t bear to put only a single pillow on it, and then it became habit. A routine for a person that was no longer there.

“Mister Cooper?”

He glanced at the doorway and saw Roslyn looking down at him, uncertain if she should enter the room.

“Come in,” he beckoned, smiling as he pushed away his old memories. “Did you manage to reach your uncle? How did it go?”

“Umm…” She walked in and stopped a few feet away from him, looking down awkwardly. “Yeah, he said… He said we can come, if we want. He actually needs more people working there, because some of his workers… Well, he can’t reach them. Since… The claiming stuff started. But he said, if we want to go there he can protect us.”

“Oh, that’s good.” George rubbed his neck. “I mean… It’s probably a lot of work, but… It should be fine, right? And… Do you think you girls would be safe there?”

“I think so…” Roslyn shrugged. “He did say that he hadn’t claimed anyone, although one of his workers did? And in fact, umm… My parents are living there now. And some other people, including some girls. Uh. Free girls, I mean. Unclaimed. I… My uncle is helping them stay safe.” Roslyn bit her lip before adding. “He did warn us to stay away from the other farms though. He heard bad things from some of them.”

George felt uneasy when he heard those words, but he still sighed with relief. “At least your uncle sounds like a good man. A great man, in fact. Keeping women safe, in these times? That’s…” He shook his head. “It sounds like the right place for you girls. And there’s enough food, right?”

“He said there was,” Roslyn replied, but she fidgeted and she kept glancing at George before looking away. After some hesitation, she asked him: “Can I ask you something? Like… A favor?”

“Of course,” he replied. “Is everything alright?”

She sat down on the bed next to him, still looking nervous. He worried that something seemed to bother her, and wondered if the farm was less safe for some reason. He listened to her attentively.

“Could you… I mean. Would you like to claim me? So I can stay behind and help you while everyone else goes to my uncle’s farm?” She asked. Her eyes found his, nervous and tentative as her smile.

His heart skipped a beat. “What?” His mind immediately went to the worst case scenario. “Is there something wrong with your uncle? Is it -”

“No, that’s not it.” Roslyn shook her head, and her smile faded. “My parents are there, and my mom… She’s still free. I talked with her. I’m pretty sure my uncle is a good guy. But…” She twirled the end of her hair nervously, not quite looking him in the eye. Like a timid schoolgirl propositioning her teacher. Oh hell. “It’s like Anna and her mom. If you want to protect yourself from being claimed by an evil person… The only sure way is to already be claimed. And I… In the farm, it would have to be my uncle, or… Or someone I don’t know.”

She looked at him again, with another attempt at a smile, a hint of confidence and levity. “You’re a nice guy, nicest one I can think of right now, at least that I know. And… And if you claimed me, I could stay behind and help you? Umm… Take care of the house while you’re away, cook you stuff and… Umm. Help take care of you? So you’re not alone?”

And George’s mind immediately flashed, treacherously, back to memories of debauchery that he witnessed on his way home. But this time he thought of himself with Roslyn, cradling her young, tiny body in his arms as he kissed her, feeling her warm breath against his chest. Sleeping close together on the bed. Oh hell. How long had it been since he hadn’t slept alone. Oh hell!

And he felt his need for intimacy, his desire, dormant for so long, suddenly scream inside him like a symphony of trumpets, demanding attention. Satiation. He needed it…! But he glanced down at the picture on the nightstand, of the young woman smiling back at him through time, so long ago, and sighed.

If the price for him to have these needs sated was forgetting the greatest woman he had ever known, and dishonoring her in every way… Then this was too high a price.

“Sorry.” He replied. And her expression fell. He struggled to add to his rejection, trying to be as gentle as possible. “Look, I understand you are scared. It’s… It’s a crazy world right now. But… You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your… Your free will? Just to survive? But also…”

He took a deep breath and glanced back at her. Now she hung her head down, ashamed, long hair covering her face. She looked so young, and it pained him to reject her, if that is indeed what he was doing. “You are a great woman,” he said. “And you deserve a better future than being saddled with me… And besides.” He chuckled, glancing at the photo. “If I did something like that Kaitlyn would kill me. Deservedly.”

“I, um, I…! I’m sorry!” Stammered the young girl, standing up in a start. “I shouldn’t have asked you to… Ahh… I mean…”

“I understand. You were afraid for your safety,” he replied, trying to reassure her. “Hey, how about we pretend this never happened? Nobody will hear it from me.” He considered if he should say something more… But Roslyn seemed to accept this out gratefully as she fled his bedroom, leaving him alone again as he collected his thoughts.

He ran a hand over his neck and found it clammy with sweat. Hell. Felt like he had just faced off against an angry dog or rushed out of a burning building.

What kind of new world was this, where young girls were **** to throw themselves at older men for their own survival? What kind of brand new madness was this?

He heard Roslyn talking at the living room, telling the others the good news about her uncle and the farm. He heard questions asked by the other women, launching a discussion. But try as he might, he couldn’t be truly glad at this new development right now.

He missed the old days. He missed them so dearly.

• Ethan

“Is there anything we can do for you?” Asked Anna, looking at him with concern.

“How about some homemade cooking! You have any dish that you miss from your home?” Carmen puffed her chest, smiling. “I’m a pretty good cook. If you tell me more or l+ess what the dish is like? I think I can make something pretty good.”

“No,” was his only quiet reply. But Carmen immediately closed her mouth as if she had been struck with a whip. He winced and looked down, knowing that they only wanted to help him.

“How about…” He hesitated, trying to word this the right way. “How about you three act as if you’re not claimed? Act like you normally would before… Before I claimed you?” He suggested.

The three women glanced at each other, and Ethan felt a shiver as he realized that what he asked for was fundamentally impossible. All he had to do was order one of them, and that facade would drop immediately. It would be only an illusion, but…

But then the three women relaxed on the couch next to him. “I think I’ll still help with the cooking, if it’s alright?” She glanced at Ethan for his reaction, and finding no disagreement there she got up and walked to the kitchen where Jasmine and Kaitlyn were.

“And I… Think I’ll go and talk to Zarina?” Said Anna, again glancing at Ethan before she too got up. “I think she could use a good listener. Yeah.” She smiled at him before walking away, leaving only Nadia beside him.

“I’m good here,” she said in response to his unasked question.

He nodded back, but still looked uneasy. Nadia let out a sigh.

“We were classmates and chatted once or twice, but I never got to really know you,” she said, her tone curious. A small smile as she glanced his way.

He shrugged. “Now you know.”

“A little better, certainly.” Her smile widened. “I know you’re brave and principled enough to defend someone in need. Including me. I know you’re quiet most of the time, and I know you enjoy it when people recognize your efforts. Am I right in all of these?”

“I guess?” Ethan shrugged, looking away. He looked awkward and self-conscious as she listed his traits, but he smiled as he looked away, despite himself.

“But there’s still a lot I don’t know about you,” said Nadia, leaning forward. “Anything that you really like or you’re interested in? Before claim day?”

Ethan hesitated, but only briefly. “Acting. Theater and movies. Both are different, but both are so interesting in their own ways.”

She shifted her weight on the couch, smiling. “How so?” She asked.

“Well, acting in theater is in front of an audience, everything in theater happens with that in mind. So the voice acting and gestures tend to be bigger, so everyone can see, and it’s all right there. It’s almost like the audience is a part of the play too. It’s intimate, in a way that cinema can’t really match. That said, movies have their strong points too. Like close-ups, montages, stuff that theater can’t really do. Both have their advantages and…” He trailed off. He had grown more and more excited as he spoke, until he seemed to notice and visibly clamp down on himself. “Sorry,” he muttered. “Got carried away.”

“No, I don’t mind,” said Nadia, smiling with joy. “I will gladly hear you talk about it.”

“Because you’re claimed,” he replied grimly. “I could read the encyclopedia and you would say the same.”

“Not true!” She protested, a wave of irritation in her expression. “I’ve always enjoyed hearing people talk about what they are passionate about. Even before being claimed.”

“Hmm…” He didn’t sound convinced, lips pursed and brows furrowed.

She leaned in closer, her eyes earnest and pleading. “Tell me, please?” Her hand gently placed over his. He did not pull away. “What is it you like so much about acting?”

“Thanks for doing this for us,” whispered Andy from behind the curtain as he peeked at the play. He glanced back with a grin that looked only somewhat nervous. He had fake scars all over his pimply face and ghoulish make-up, which only made his smile look more out of place.

“It’s ok,” replied Ethan, scanning his lines again and repeating them under his breath in between his brief replies. “Sorry if I mess up when on stage.”

“Don’t apologize in advance! Or overthink it!” He insisted. “Still better than our play missing an actor!”

“Hmm,” Ethan pursed his lips and gave him a skeptical look, before looking back towards the script. His lips began moving silently again.

“Look. Don’t worry too much, ok?” Andy insisted. “Try and have fun! If you’re enjoying yourself, then the audience will enjoy it too. Then all you have to worry about is roughly hitting your mark and making sure you push the scene forward! I’ll be there to guide you!”

“I’ll do my best.” Ethan replied grimly.

“Are your parents here, by the way?” Andy peeked behind the curtain again, trying to look at the audience. “You gave them the invite, right?”

“I did, but they’re not coming,” said Ethan. “Busy.”

“Oh.” The other teen blinked. “That’s a shame. I’m sure they would be impressed to see you up there on stage!”

“I don’t think I could ever do anything to impress them,” was Ethan’s reply. Andy looked at him, briefly mortified. What unnerved him the most was how casually the other teen had tossed that into conversation, not even bothering to take his eyes from the script as he repeated his lines.

But there was no time for a well-thought reply. Andy heard something from the stage, glanced back and hissed, “oh shit! It’s our cue. Let’s go!”

The two slinked onto the stage, behind a line, and Andy mimed opening a door and walking inside a room.

“Come in, doctor,” he said, his voice gravelly and slightly off, very different from his regular voice. Louder too.

Ethan walked behind him and mimed closing the door.

“This is the home of my youth.” Recited Andy, a dangerous grin as he looked around. “As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape from this house. Now I'm glad to escape back into it!” Andy gestured at the stage, smiling and stomping his boots with every step.

“Yes, Johnny. A good hideout,” replied Ethan. He immediately cursed himself. His delivery felt weak, quiet. So very different from how confident and well-acted his partner sounded.

“The family must still live here!” Boomed Andy, stalking around the set menacingly. “I hope there's a fatted calf awaiting the return of the prodigal son!”

“A fatted calf?” Ethan licked his lips and rubbed his tummy. May as well go for broke with his acting. “Boy, I’m so hungry!”

There were a few chuckles in the audience at his delivery, and Ethan took a moment to realize what had happened. Had they laughed at something he said? They, the audience, were not just paying attention to him but they were actually enjoying his work? His acting.

He looked at the audience, squinting to peer past the stage lights, and saw a sea of faces in the dark looking at him. Normally public attention made Ethan nervous, usually because he associated it with being scolded or laughed at. But this time?

They were all looking at him. Listening to him. And they weren’t upset or mocking, they weren’t telling him to be quiet. They were eager to watch the play, to watch him! They LAUGHED at his joke! They wanted to see and hear from him MORE! Could this be possible? Could this be a loophole in his firm belief that attracting attention was always BAD?

And in that moment, in the middle of a barebones play in high school that he didn’t even plan on participating in, Ethan fell in love with acting.

It was after dinner, which was quite delicious thanks to the efforts of everyone involved. And Ethan had been given George’s bedroom, with the consensus that it had the largest bed and all three of his women would sleep with him.

And when they all lied in bed together, a pile of bodies and warmth as they pressed close to each other so they would all fit, Ethan felt none of the discomfort he first feared. It was like back on the bed in the Riviera household, when they had all cuddled together. He felt at ease.

Anna nuzzled his chest again, and she reached one hand inside his shirt, rubbing his chest affectionately.

Carmen pressed her chest against his arm, and he felt her hardened nipples rub against his skin, almost playfully. She kissed him in the cheek.

Nadia leaned in and whispered in his ear. “You’re amazing, Ethan.”

“He’s wonderful,” agreed Carmen, her voice also whispered and she giggled softly and kissed him again.

“And I’m sure soon everyone here will know how awesome you are,” added Anna, lifting his shirt and planting kisses on his chest.

“Umm…” He blushed slightly. “Same rules as last time? No… No going too far?”

“Of course,” replied Nadia, before playfully licking his ear. He wriggled slightly, a mix of surprise and pleasure.

But he didn’t tell her off or push her away. He couldn’t bear to do it. And despite all the horrible things that had happened that day, or the one before, he had to admit it. This felt good.

It felt really good. Amazing, really. And he was ashamed to even think that way. But he had to admit one thing.

This was the most loved he had ever felt in his entire life. Nothing in his past life could compare to this.