No, that would be dishonest

You blow off the waitress and head home.

You text Jeremy first, of course... you don't want to get kicked out for inappropriate arrival, but he doesn't answer so you knock on the door.

The pretty Asian girl opens it. "So you're Mike, huh?" She sounds pissed. She's wearing the same outfit she wore last night, but it's looking a little bedraggled now. And her makeup is smeared... with tear lines running through her mascara.

"Uh, yes."

"And you're friends with this asshole?"

"If you mean Jeremy, yes. But I don't think he's an--"

"Let's see. What would you call a guy who brings a girl home, fucks her in all three holes, then tells her to fuck off because he's not interested in a relationship?"

"Were you looking for a relationship?"

"That's not the point."

"I guess I'd call him a guy who's not looking for a relationship and who's at least up-front and honest about it rather than being a jerk who tricks girls into falling for him and then dumping him so their hearts are broken."

She opens her mouth, then closes it. "Well, I guess. You know, you were supposed to comfort me and then try to get me to fuck you for your sensitivity and compassion."

"Oh. Sorry. Uh, does that work?"

"Of course it doesn't work. It gives me an excuse to be mad at you, like all those other guys who are complete assholes."

"Oh. Well, here goes. Uh, I'm sorry that my friend was so cruel to you, leading you on and then smashing your hopes and dreams of a lifetime together. So--"

"Oh shut up. Can you dance?"

"Like a cow."

"Oh. Well, take lessons. When you get good, call me." She grabs your phone, enters her name (Huan) and a number. She puts her hand on your cheek for a second, then heads out.

"What the hell was that?" Jeremy asks.

You jump a foot into the air. You hadn't seen him. "Uh, she was mad at you."

"Girls always get mad at me. I don't understand it. They ask me what I'm looking for, I tell them and they pound on my chest, try to kick me in the balls and then leave."

"Maybe you're telling them it wrong. I've read that lots of girls are like guys, you know, not looking for relationships."

"Couldn't prove it by me."

"If you could convince them they are worthy of relationships even though you're not looking for one, maybe--"

"Of course they're worthy of relationships. You think I'd drag home some skank?"

"Really?"

"Well, I guess I would. Hope last night wasn't a problem for you."

"Nah, I'm good." You fail to suppress a yawn. "Okay, I will be after a nap, anyway."