Nia POV: Dead tired

Ahhh man…I really want to sleep in my own bed. I’m tired of staying in the main house. Mom and dad’s pillows are too hard, their detergent is too strong…I can’t even lock the door in case Tite and Edith need something… On the bright side, I’m too tired to be horny tonight... Eh, not that it would matter…it made me feel kinda gross trying to get off in my parent’s room anyway.

I sighed as I finally pulled into the driveway. At least mom left her car for the week… Well actually, she’d fucking better have since I had to drive all the kids to school… If I had to bike them everywhere I woulda flipped my shit. Not that I wouldn’t’ve done it, but…

I leaned my head against the steering wheel and closed my eyes. Chill girl, it was gonna be fine. It was already Wednesday night. If mom and dad were still on time, then you only had another day and a half to go. You could do this, just…had to………I jumped in my seat. Couldn’t sit like that for too long, or I was gonna pass the hell out.

Shaking my head of drowsiness, I opened the door and gathered all my crap from the passenger’s seat. Once I’d turned the car off though, I realized I was sitting in pitch darkness. Ah god dammit, they forgot to turn on the night lights for the patio.

I stumbled to the front door with my phone lighting the way, managing to only drop my keys and water bottle twice in the process. God, why was it so fucking hard to find women’s work pants with good pockets in them!? …I guess I could’ve made it easier on myself it I’d repacked everything before getting out of the car, but, like, fuck it man, I didn’t have the patience. I just needed to get that clip back from Anton in the morning. He probably didn’t need it for school again tomorrow, right? …Gah! What am I saying? I knew I wasn’t getting that back when I gave it to him. I should’ve listened to Em and bought more spares…

Eventually, I managed to make it inside. To my relief, the house was in good condition…well, mostly good condition…if I squinted at it. And really, who was I to say? Wasn’t “good” a relative thing?

…

I sighed again as I unloaded my stuff in the entry. It was fine. They had tried to do the chores while I was gone, and that was what I cared about most. Eve was the only one who was old enough for me to really expect to do them well, and since she’d been given the extra task of putting everyone else to bed I wasn’t mad. All things considered, actually, it could’ve been a lot worse.

I took pride in my little sister’s growth as I got to work on the rest of the chores, thankful that it would only take thirty minutes or so instead of over an hour…

And my guess wasn’t too far off, either; forty minutes later, I found myself finally free to get some rest. I stretched out my back and quickly, but silently, flicked off the lights and ran upstairs.

But before I could fully relax, I had to make sure everyone was settled in. Walking by the kids’ rooms and peeking in carefully, I thankfully found them sleeping tightly. As a child I’d absolutely despised the household rule that kids have to leave their doors cracked, but as an adult I appreciated it greatly. I think I’d cry right then and there if I accidentally woke one of them up with a creaky hinge!

Though, that said, I could still see light coming from under the door of Eve’s room. Listening against the wood, I heard the light scratching of pencil against paper. Shit, was she still doing homework? Well, it’s not like I didn’t understand that one. I could think of at least three assignments I would be working on if I had the energy…

Caught in my daze, I didn’t realize that Eve had opened the door and was staring at me from inside her room. Dang, I really must be tired to not notice that… She glared at me with an annoyed expression, eyebrows raised.

Eve: So? Are you gonna come in, or were you planning to eavesdrop the rest of the night?

A hint of anger welled in my stomach, but I pushed it down.

Nia: …Ehehe, sorry. Just wanted to check on you before I went to bed.

Eve went to her desk and sat down, toiling over the mess of papers that I assumed she was working on before. I followed her in and gently closed the door.

I stood quietly and watched her work out some problems in her head for a little while. Every once in a blue moon she would steal a look at me, but for the most part she stayed focused. Well, if I’m distracting her at all then I should probably get out of her hair. I’d make this quick.

Nia: Thank you for doing the chores earlier. I know that wasn’t easy with the kids.

Eve scoffed and rolled her eyes as she put down her pencil.

Eve: Nia, I heard you downstairs.

Nia: Oh oops, sorry, was I being too loud?

Eve scowled at me.

Eve: Don’t thank me if you don’t mean it. You could at least tell me what I did wrong, so I could do it better next time. I don’t want to give you more work.

Another wave of frustration built up inside me. I tightened my abs and did my best to hold it in. She didn’t mean it, I knew how she could be. It was late, she was stressed from her homework…it was just making her inner perfectionist angry. It was better to just let it go… I was too tired to get snippy with her right now anyways, and I really didn’t want to wake up the kids.

Nia: …Eve, that wasn’t what I... I wanted…haah…

I lost my will to continue and dropped whatever I was going to say. I couldn’t even remember now. Eve waited for me to respond, but after it was obvious that I wasn’t gonna finish my thought, she went back to working on her homework.

We sat in silence again, feeling even more awkward than before. I didn’t want to just leave things like this…

I walked softly up to Eve and put my hands on her shoulders, trying to imitate the way mom did it for us when we were younger.

Nia: How was your day?

Eve: …It was okay.

Nia: Yeah? Seems like you’ve been working hard on this.

Eve: Yeah…

Nia: Good job, I’m proud of you for staying on top of it. Anything I can help with?

Eve looked at me skeptically, a bite of indignance returning to her face.

Eve: …No offense, but I thought you dropped the advanced math program in high school. Do you even know how to do calculus?

I felt a piece of me break, and the emotions I’d been suppressing came roaring to the surface. My vision blurred and my legs tightened. For a moment, I was positive I was going to raise my voice — to start yelling and ask her why she felt like she could treat me like Nana does.

…But it never came. Instead, all I could feel was a cold wash over me. My head felt heavy… I was too tired for all this. I just wanted to go to bed. I needed to.

Nia: …Guess you’re right…sorry… I’ll leave you to it.

Why were you trying to mommy her? She didn’t want that, not from you. You’ll only ever be her idiot sister.

Yeah, I guess that was true, huh? I shouldn’t have overstepped like that…

I gave Eve’s shoulders a weak squeeze and let my hands fall to my hips. She mumbled something and stopped working, then turned toward me. It felt like she was going to repeat whatever she said before — she’d seemed annoyed, in that way she always was lately — but, for some reason, she stopped once she looked at me.

Eve: …Hey…are you alright…? Nia?

What was she talking about? I was fine. I gave her a light pat on the shoulder and smiled.

Nia: Yeah, all good. Just a lil sleepy.

I walked out of her room and peeked my head in one more time.

Nia: I love you. Have a good night. Don’t stay up too late.

The words left me robotically, and I shut the door before the conversation could continue further.

Afterwards, I stood there and stared into the floor for god knows how long. I knew I should get ready for bed. It was already so late, and I wasn’t going to do well in the morning if I didn’t get some rest. I knew that, but I…I couldn’t find the strength to move.

Ahhh, why did I have to do this? I wanted it all to go away. My family didn’t need me.

They don’t. Nana was right, you’re just dragging them down. You’re a bad example, and you shouldn’t be with them. They’d be better off with a sitter.

I felt so sick…so alone… I wish Em were here…

A small piece of paper rubbed against my feet, bringing me back to the real world. I picked it up, and felt a strong pressure build in my throat. I had to bite my trembling lip to keep myself from making any noise.

It was a little note from Eve; a page ripped from her notebook, with a hastily doodled pair of crying cats hugging and a big “I’m sorry. I love you too.” scrawled in thick, messy lettering above them. It was just like the notes I used to leave her when she was a kid.

...She hadn’t drawn me anything in years…

I felt my fears wash away. Relief took the strength in my legs and made my footsteps like jelly — it was all I could do to get myself to mom and dad’s room before I fell into bed. I looked over the note again and again. She might have changed, but she was still Eve. My family still needed me. She still loved me. I was going to be okay.

I took a deep breath and snuggled into the sheets. I wished Em could be here with me, but, at least with Eve’s note in my arms, I didn’t feel quite as alone tonight.