New Standards and Practices

The Normandy was operating under rapidly changing conditions. First they had been put on elevated alert, limiting their personal freedoms aboard the ship. Then they had their incoming and outgoing communications restricted. Then new grooming standards were imposed, demanding all active crew members shave their heads and body hair, with eyebrows being the sole restriction. Finally, mandatory medical examinations were now being issued.

"They're saying we've got a spy on board," Ashley said, lying on the couch in Kelly Chambers' quarters, while the Yeoman psychologist took notes.

"Haven't you been saying that for years?" She questioned. Ashley frowned.

"No!" Ashley exclaimed, before adding, "Well... Not like this anyways."

"Ah," Kelly made a note of that on her tablet. "So what makes this different from your garden variety paranoia?"

"Shepard's saying that this spy, whoever they are, replaced someone on the Normandy before we last left port. Went the extra mile too. Physical modifications, memory alterations, maybe even some kind of gene therapy. Everything to fit in so they could steal the schematics for the ship."

"For who?"

"Don't know. Shepard wouldn't say. She might not even know. All we've got are some intercepted messages that EDI flagged leaving the ship." Ashley frowned. "I don't like it. Something about this whole thing isn't right. I mean, how would Shepard know if this spy had all these things done? If they spelled all that out in a message, than they are officially the worst spy in history. Plus, if you went through all that trouble, why not just copy the schematics and quietly disappear at our next stop?"

"Given this much thought have we?" Kelly teased.

"I'm the one in charge of keeping the ship secure... or I was. With Shepard being more and more of a recluse these days, she's left Miranda in charge, and Miranda's got it in for me. That's not paranoia. Did you know that bitch had the nerve to tell me I wasn't complying with the grooming standard? I don't know if you've seen her, but she hasn't so much as trimmed a lock of that "perfect" mane of hers."

"Well neither have I," Kelly pointed out. "I'm waiting for them to call me up for my check up. Figure I'll just deal with it then."

"Last I checked this was a military ship. We're supposed to do as we're ordered when we're ordered."

"So why haven't you?"

"Because fuck Miranda!" Ashley exclaimed again. "Anyone who kisses the Illusive Man's feet can kiss my ass. Er... Present company excluded of course."

The thought of Miranda kissing Ashley's supple ass briefly flashed in Kelly's mind, but she dispelled it quickly and hoped Ashley didn't notice the brief wistful look on her face.

"Um... Right."

"I mean don't you think any of this is odd, Kelly?"

Kelly had to admit that things had been odd aboard the Normandy recently. Shepard and Liara were nowhere to be found, Miranda was in charge, EDI had been acting differently, and while Ashley's paranoia was well-documented, she made a decent case here for something strange going on. The day before, Chief Engineer Gabriella Daniels came in for her appointment, and told Kelly the most peculiar story. Apparently Tali had been removed from her post, rather suddenly, by order of Miranda with Shepard's approval. The Quarian had gone up to the Captain's Cabin to demand answers out of Shepard, and then never came back. Gabby was worried about her, and Kelly had told her to keep her posted. She was expecting an update from her just after this in fact.

"Well..." Kelly eventually managed. "It's not normal, but it's Shepard, right? She wouldn't lead us astray. She's our leader, our friend... Whatever's going on, I'm sure she's got a good reason..." She realized she sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Ashley. "Okay... Tell you what, I'll ask some of my other patients if they've seen anything... weird, and then we'll regroup tomorrow and compare notes."

Ashley, for the first time in awhile, smiled.

"Thanks Kelly. I'll do some investigating of my own then."

...

After Ashley left, Kelly paced her quarters. She didn't want to feed Ashley's paranoia, but the Lt. Commander was on to something. At the very least they weren't being given the full story here. She wanted to be wrong, she wanted it to all be in Ashley's head like it usually was, but she had a bad feeling that this time it was all too real. She hadn't even mentioned how Samantha had been acting recently, following Miranda around like a lovesick puppy, when previously she hadn't been able to stand being in her presence. It was disheartening in more ways than one. Samantha had always been looking for the perfect partner, someone who was intelligent, honest, funny, and cute.

"Someone kind of like you," she had once said. Kelly didn't want to point out that she herself was someone like her... Now it seemed she would never get the chance. Samantha would barely even talk to her.

The door to the room slid open and Gabriella Daniels entered. Her head was shaved. She had complied with the new grooming standards on board without complaint.

"Gabby! Good to see you,"

"Kelly," she said, giving a salute. A bit formal even by her standards, but Kelly brushed that aside as the two sat down.

"I'm so glad you came. Now yesterday we were discussing some issues you were having down in engineering... I was wondering if we could follow up on that?"

"They have been resolved," Gabby stated plainly.

"Oh?" Kelly looked surprised. "Tali's back at her post?"

"Tali is where she belongs," Gabby asserted firmly.

"Um... Okay... I guess that's good then." From Gabby's tone, Kelly wasn't sure.

"You still have not complied with the grooming standard." This again. Kelly thought they had established this.

"I'm still waiting to be called up for my check-up," Kelly said.

"You should follow the grooming standard. It shows you are fit to serve," Gabby continued. It was at this point, Kelly noticed Gabby's tone wasn't just being authoritative. That would be normal enough. Her words were stiff, her sentences mechanical, and her expression unmoving. That was significantly less normal. There was no-nonsense professionalism and then there was psychopathy.

"Gabby are you feeling all right?" She asked.

"I was declared fit to serve," Gabby replied.

"That's not what I mean... Is something bothering you?"

"No. I am fit to serve," she repeated, like a prisoner of war giving their name and serial number under interrogation. She stood up. "You should follow the grooming standard. They will be coming for you soon. Then you will be fit to serve." She stood up suddenly and exited the room without another word, leaving Kelly sitting there perplexed. They'd barely been there two minutes. She almost thought about giving chase, but decided that was unwise. She made a note to bring the matter up, preferably with Shepard but if not her then Miranda. Unlike Ashley, Kelly didn't think the ship's XO was all that bad. They had served together in Cerberus for several years. She had come to trust her judgement, even if she did seem a little... egomaniacal.

About an hour after her strange encounter with Daniels, EDI rung up.

"Yeoman Kelly Chambers, please report to the infirmary for mandatory physical evaluation," she said, repeating it once, then vanishing.

There we go. She'd have to remember to ask Chakwas and Michel if they noticed anything odd during Gabby's physical. In the meantime, however, she had to give herself a haircut.

...

Ashley hid in the hanger, waiting for the shipment to arrive. Since the evals started, shipments arrived via unidentified shuttle, coming from god only knows where as their current position was on a need to know basis. Apparently only Shepard, EDI, and Miranda needed to know. Allegedly, Dr. Chakwas was reordering supplies as she needed them, but Ashley knew Dr. Chakwas was always prepared. She would never run out of supplies on a long haul, even if a plague broke out on board. Combine that with Dr. Michel's own stores and the result is an infirmary to rival any hospital.

No one talked about what happened in those medical evaluations. Supposedly it was a security measure, but everybody gossips. Yet all they had here was rumor and speculation. Ashley had overheard some of the crew talking about friends behaving differently, girls going in and coming out acting almost like a different person, but she had no proof of that. Truth was she hadn't paid a lot of attention to the little people on board. It was something she hoped to correct, assuming of course she was still alive by the end of the week.

The cargo shuttle arrived. In Ashley's experience, rarely was legitimate humanitarian cargo dead dropped by anonymous armored goons in unmarked crates. Said goons disappeared back aboard their shuttle as soon as they dropped off the last of it and departed. Ashley had no idea how long it would take for someone to show up to collect, so she didn't wait to start rummaging through it. There were several metal crates, some larger than others, including two cylindrical containers that almost looked like caskets. Assuming someone would be here sooner rather than later, she went for the one most accessible to her, a small white crate roughly the size of a trunk, which she managed to quickly unlock and open.

It was filled with what looked to be microchips, though not any make or model she recognized. They looked like almost like biotic implants of some kind. Each came with an injector of some sort too, which she inspected curiously. What use would a doctor, or indeed a senior Cerberus operative, have with these?

She heard the elevator begin to move and she quickly put back what she had examined, retreating back to her hiding spot. Miranda, Kasumi, and EDI stepped off the elevator and towards the crates. Ashley narrowed her eyes and did her best to remain silent.

"Is this everything?" Miranda asked.

"Yes Operative Lawson," said EDI in a robot monotone. "All items are presented and accounted for."

"Do I get a reward for fetching like a good pet, mistress?" Asked Kasumi. She sounded playful, but there was a hint of begging in her voice. Ashley also really did not like the use of the word "mistress".

"Perhaps. It depends on whether these work as advertised. EDI, can you interface with Units 2 and 3?"

"Yes Operative Lawson."

"Bring them online. Now."

Ashley watched as EDI walked over to the two cylindrical caskets, and began to interface with them through her visor. After a moment, both caskets opened, and two synthetic women, identical to EDI, stepped out. All three turned to Miranda and spoke as one.

"I have assumed control of Units 2 and 3. All systems nominal. How may I be of service, Operative Lawson?"

Miranda stepped between the two new units, while the main EDI turned to look at her from behind. She reaches down and gently squeezed one breast on each of them, confirming them to be as soft as any normal woman's. Ash could see Kasumi's hand drifting towards her own, apparently content to play with herself while her owner amused herself with other toys.

"Can you feel this EDI?" Miranda asked.

"I am capable of feeling all sensory inputs from my mobile platforms, Operative Lawson." she stated plainly.

"Do you... Like it?" She asked. There was a noticeable pause.

"The sensation is quite... pleasurable, Operative Lawson," EDI stated. Miranda grinned and walked over to the main unit.

"Oh I'm so glad," and proceeded to stick her tongue down the robot's throat. Kasumi bit her lip jealously, reaching down and lightly rubbing herself as she watched her owner indulge herself with the metal vixen. A moment after, Miranda pulled back and EDI reaffirmed her robotic posture.

"Is there... anything else you require, Operative Lawson?" She asked.

"Later. For now, use your bodies and take your new assembly unit to the A.I core." She nodded to the large crate. "Kasumi take the control chips to the infirmary... and stop playing with yourself without my permission. Your pleasure comes second to mine."

"Oh? Have I been bad? Are you going to punish me?" Kasumi whimpered, though the smile on her face gave the game away.

"You would like that wouldn't you?" Miranda looked distastefully at Kasumi, but there was lust behind her eyes too. "Come."

"Oh I think I already have..." and Kasumi followed. Shortly thereafter, the three EDIs took what Ash could only presume was the assembly unit onto the elevator, and all of them disappeared.

Ashley didn't wait. She rabbited up the maintenance shaft she crawled down from, scurried into the armory, and locked the door. She spent the night awake, a rifle in hand. She didn't care if the Collectors themselves returned. She would not open that door for anyone.

She was right. She was fucking right, and she'd never been more scared in her entire life.