Neutral, but selfish

As much as you wanted to go and wish to become ruler of the universe, you knew that there had to be terms and conditions.

"May I read the rule book?" You asked.

The two fairies held up their wand and produced a book labeled 'Da Rules!'

You nodded before walking to the fridge, where you took out a 3 pound candy bar. Holding it up, you said, "Boss gave these out instead of bonuses in December. You can have it while I go over the rules."

Wanda licked her lips before she snatched the oversized candy bar, eating it like a beaver eating a tree.

After a moment of watching Wanda consume the Candy bar, Cosmo looked at you and asked, "So... what do I get?"

You tossed him a nickle. The green fairy hugged it and said, "I'll call it Phillip and love it forever!"

After reading what you could of the rules, you looked at a pleased Wanda, who was laying about with a extended belly. You said, "So, Wanda. Are you and Cosmo ready to grant my wishes?"

Wanda stretched for a moment, making her large belly vanish. "I'm ready, sport. How 'bout you, Cosmo?"

"Philip and I are ready and willing!" Cosmo said with a salute.

When the two fairies looked at you, you said, "I have a 4-part wish. First part, I wish that the pizza place that I worked at sold specially-made delicious pizzas and cheesy bread that caused women to lose weight equal to the amount that they would have ordinarily gained when eating it."

"Weight-loss pizzas? That's a pretty selfless wish, there, Max!" Wanda said, smiling because of both the chocolate you gave her and the idea of the pizzas. "Here, I worried you'd take the place over or something."

"Nah, too much paperwork to keep it running," You replied. "Second part, I wish that the pizza shop owner was now a sexy Asian lady named Mei Chang who lusted after me and I mean really lusted after me."

Wanda sighed as she rolled her eyes, her hopes for a decent godson mostly smashed.

"Third part, I wish that the place was successful enough to have those special pizza delivery cars that exist in some places," You added.

"And I bet I know what they'll be used for," Cosmo said, wiggling his eyes. You smiled until he spoke, "Secret pizza eating!"

After glaring at Cosmo, you finished, "Fourth part, I wish that I was the only guy working in the pizza place I'm employed at."

"And let me guess, you also plan on reenacting the age-old 'pizza guy porno plot', right?" Wanda asked with a glare.

"No, not at first. I plan on actually working at a job where I'm paid well and not bullied," you answered. "Besides, you can be the belle of the ball with the other fairies when you tell them you had a hand in making a pizza place where one can lose weight by eating there."

"Hmmm..." Wanda uttered as she pondered your words.

"So... my wish?" You asked.

The two fairies raised their wands and one 'Ka-pizza' poof later, you went to your dresser and looked at your uniform... which had been a cheap light purple shirt with a 'It'z pizsa!' logo on it. The old version of your boss either didn't know how to spell, was lazy, or thought misspellings led to fame and fortune.

The new version of your uniform shirt? A high quality dark purple shirt that had lip-shaped logo that had 'Carnal Pizza'. Your name was even embroidered on it.

Wanda produced a book and put on glasses before she said, "Well, it looks like Ms. Chang had a crush on your dad that would up transferring over to you when you got a job under her. And like you wished, her pizza place is doing really well! Too bad for one thing, though."

"What?" you asked.

Wanda began, "Because of how the wish altered history for you, you now have to deal with..."