Miley Picks a Winner

(originally posted by Catfish)

"I'm gonna give you a little bit of my power for now so you can pick one."

"Yeah, sure, I --" Miley began, but then her eyes seemed to glaze over. She quickly recovered, a bit of a wicked smile on her face. "This is from last night, right after you announced yourself, but it still counts, right? Leon Klingler from Minnesota."

A nasally male voice was heard. "Oh, God, Miley Cyrus is so hot! I wish I could have sex with her in real life."

Jason looked at Miley and grinned. Just as Miley had popped into existence a few moments ago, now an overweight teenage boy with acne and thick glasses appeared, standing between Jason and Miley's chairs.

"What just --" he started to say in his nasally voice, and then his eyes went wide. "Oh, my God," he said, then started wheezing and fumbled for something in a pocket of his large-waisted jeans.

"You're standing next to him," said Jason, as Leon finally managed to pull an asthma inhaler out of his pocket and bring it to his lips. "Let me take care of that for you," Jason continued, and the inhaler disappeared from Leon's hand. He made a gurgling sound, but then took a deep breath, his eyes wide.

"All right, Leon, I'm sure you know Miley Cyrus," Jason said.

Leon still looked terrified, but managed to wave at her with a shaky arm. He gulped, and managed to ask Jason, "Are -- are you going to do to me what you did to the guys who were at your concert last night?"

Jason replied, "No, you wanted to have sex with her, not some idealized version of yourself and she's ready for you." He pointed, and Miley disappeared from the chair where she sat, only to reappear a second later lying on top of a brass bed that had also suddenly appeared in the studio. She wore only a lacy black bra, panties, and matching high heels, and she struck a come-hither pose.

"Well? Go for it, man!" Jason commanded Leon.

The interviewer interjected. "Are you going to do this here? Now? On TV? I don't think --"

Jason held up a dismissive hand without looking in her direction. "There's nothing wrong with this. Sex is a normal part of life." He turned his attention to Leon, who looked petrified. "What's wrong?"

"I-I, um... it's just, uh... all these people..." Leon stammered.