Meanwhile, across town

Lena had gotten the call mid-day from Beth asking if she wanted to hang out after work. Her first instinct had been to come up with some excuse and to avoid Beth after what had happened the other day…and repeated throughout the week. The more she thought about it though, Beth didn’t deserve that and she wanted to keep from repeating the mistake she made with Alan.

It had been almost a week now without seeing her brother’s face. For her part she had been actively trying to avoid him, not ready for any sort of conversation about him sleeping with Beth. That being said, it seemed like maybe he was avoiding her too. He was gone in the morning and when he came home he was going straight to bed. Maybe he was angry with her. Maybe she deserved it.

She was now at Beth’s place as she prepped some quick ramen, laying on an old futon the two had bought a few years back, it had the type of cushions that you almost sunk into, super comfy, awful for your back. Beth had moved to the apartment over a year ago now and it was still full of boxes, some open, others not. Lena knew Beth preferred to work things out at her own hectic pace, and her bedroom and work room were the only ones unpacked.

But laying in this futon and closing her eyes from the clutter, the sound of Beth just off in the distance, she could take herself back to when they lived together and when things seemed simpler. When she hadn’t figured her feelings out. When Beth wasn’t sleeping with Alan

“Do you have any beer?” Lena called out, her face still mashed into the cushion of the futon

Beth approached with two steaming bowls of noodles, “do I have what? You know I can’t understand you when you do that.” she placed one bowl on the box closest to Lena

Reluctantly, Lena pulled her face out, “I just wondered if you had any beer, you know to go with the noodles?” and in her dead “to get my brain to stop making me sad for five goddamn minutes.”

“Hmm…” Beth slurped noodles thoughtfully, “No beer, but if you’re just looking for a buzz I got some Kraken we can mix with coke.”

“That sounds excellent, that please.” Lena grabbed her own bowl and Beth hopped up to fetch the black bottle and begin mixing drinks.

Lena just watched as her friend moved, she was always so light on her feet, maybe it was the years of gymnastics but everything Beth did had a fluidity to it, even as she bounced energetically from foot to foot as she poured soda into the cups. Even doing something as simple as that, the way she carried herself was just a reflection of who Beth was, strong and carefree. It was beautiful.

As Beth came over and handed Selena her glass she put a hand on her hips and said, “So, we gonna talk now? Or do you plan on moping for the rest of the night?”

Lena pressed the glass against her lips, “I’m not moping…”

“Super serious Selena drinking on a weekday? I call bullshit, plus you’re doing the thing where you hide your mouth, which you only do when you’re stuck in your head.” She plopped herself down in her own chair as she spoke.

Lena’s eyes narrowed, “It’s not fair, you’re allowed to be able to read minds.”

Beth stuck her tongue out, “Don’t really need to with you Lena, you and your Brother both have horrible poker faces when you think no one is watching.”

“Maybe you’re a creep for always watching.” Lena shot back

“I prefer the term voyeur.” The words hung in the air for a moment before the silence was broken by both of them laughing.

Lena continued to laugh and then lowered her head, “You always manage to do that…I really appreciate what a good friend you are.”

Beth watched evenly, “Is that why you freaked at Alan for us Fucking?”

Lena was mid noodle when her friend said that and nearly choked, “Jesus Beth!”

“We need to talk about it, plus considering your attitude it’s been on your mind anyway. You know Alan thinks you hate him now?” Beth was leaning in her face displaying an unusual look of concern.

“I don’t! I just…it’s not right is it? Plus why are you automatically taking his side! Maybe I’m right to be mad!” Lena heard her voice rising despite herself

Beth held up her hand “Slow down, Lena I’m not taking sides, I’m just telling you what he told me. Plus if that’s REALLY what you’re upset about you should be more mad at me rather than him.”

“That’s…not….the same. He should…behave himself.” the statement sounded as lame to Lena as it did to Beth

“Meaning he is forcing me to not behave myself? Lena when we slept together, he didn’t even know about Ken. He only was convinced to keep hooking up by me!” Beth reasoned

“But He should have stopped once he knew!” Lena’s face was red and she hated everything she was saying. Every lie she told digging her in deeper

“Which again, I told him not to. Listen if this is about things being wrong, you know how I date. Why is it a problem now?” Beth’s voice was calm and patient

“What about Ken? I thought you said he was nice, he doesn’t deserve this.” Lena’s fingernails were pushed into her palms at this point with how tight she was clenching her fists.

Beth held up two fingers, “Two things: one, Ken and I aren’t serious. Regardless of what he may feel if he finds out I told him what I tell every boy. I’m looking out for me first and I’ll let him know when we’re exclusive. Two, if this is really the problem, again why are you mad at Alan and not me?”

Hot tears formed in Lena’s eyes, and she rose her hand to wipe them away “I’m a bad friend…”

Beth leaned in and put a hand out to comfort her, “Hey no, you’re a great friend, listen I get it. You’re worried about things getting messy so you lash out and-”

“No…that's not it. Beth I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” She couldn't get the tears to stop

Beth moved close, “Lena what’s wrong? Whatever it is I promise I won’t be mad”

“You can’t…you can’t promise that…you don’t know.” Lena managed to blubber out

“I’ll do my best, please…just be honest with me…so we can find a path forward for the three of us ok?” Beth was gently rubbing her back now

Lena looked up “I-I-...” Her lips were trembling as she used every ounce of willpower she had to stammer, “I think…I think I like you…like *like* you…and”

“Oh sweetie, come on…I didn’t know I’m- well…extremely flattered but-” Beth was cut off

“Thats not all! I…may have…masturbated to…fuck” Lena felt her chest tighten

Beth almost looked amused “I mean…that makes sense given-”

“No!...I masturbated to the thought of Alan fucking you…” Silence hung in the air, “Sorry…Im a freak…a degenerate freak I’m sorry.” She tried to get up to leave and Beth reached up and pulled her into a hug

“Hey…listen…wow I’ll be honest not what I expected from tonight. But Lena I love you, you’re my friend. It’s going to take a lot more than weird sex fantasies to drive a wedge between us.” Beth’s brain reeled but she held fast to Lena

Lena was doing her best not to completely disassociate from the situation and held tight to Beth like a life preserver.

Beth then sighed heavily, “Maybe…we can work something out.”