Making a new friend.

The woman opened her door to check her mail and saw a small, purple egg-shaped object on her doormat. She frowned and bent to examine it.

It was glowing lightly in the morning sun and it looked heavy, like it was made of marble. She reached down to pick it up and was startled by a blinding flash of purple light when her fingers made contact. When she could see again, she was on the ground and the egg-shaped thing was nowhere to be seen.

Did it work? The unexpected thought raced through the woman's mind. She could be calling any minute now if it worked.

Who could be calling? Was it her? Was she supposed to call somebody? She was anxious now, wondering if something went wrong. She needed to call someone. Jake. She needed to call Jake.

The woman pulled out her phone and opened the dialer, but couldn't think of a number. She had to call Jake right away to tell him whether or not it worked, but she didn't know his number! She stamped a foot in frustration, feeling anxious and excited and irritated all at once. She couldn't understand where these feelings were coming from but she knew if she could just call Jake it'd be ok.

Shit, she didn't know his number! She already knew that, but Sam reminded her. Wait, who was Sam? It didn't matter as a series of digits flashed across her mind. She entered them into the phone without thinking and hit the call button.

Someone (Jake?) picked up on the first ring. He sounded nervous. "H-hello?" she heard just as she somehow knew she would.

"Hi. Is this Jake?" she asked. "I think I touched your egg thing. Do you- I want to have sex with you, Jake."

She was disoriented for a few seconds. Why did she say that? It seemed perfectly natural to stop mid-sentence and explain to a stranger that she wanted to fuck him. The woman frowned at her phone before an overwhelming wave of excitement hit her.

"Oh my God," she and Jake said in unison. She threw her hands up in the air and laughed harder than she had in years. A jogger stopped and stared, clearly wondering if she was ok. She was more than ok and she had to tell him.

"Oh my God, dude, I can't fucking believe it!" the actress told the puzzled jogger, her throaty contralto uncharacteristically manic. "I'm gonna fuck Scarlett Johansson!"