Link takes her back home

"Okay, fine," Link said, forcing himself to look away from the gorgeous naked redhead and at the the … sky. Sure, the sky was safe. "I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what was going on anyway, so I'm going to assume that I just caught you in the middle of an unfortunate accident."

"It was an accident!" Malon protested.

"That's what I'm assuming. That's why I'm going to take you back home without asking any awkward questions."

"Wait, what?" Link climbed up on Epona's back, causing Malon to yelp as the last barrier between her naked body and Link's sharp blue eyes was taken away from her. She scrambled to Epona's rear and pressed her breasts against the horses flank, hoping that she didn't kick. "No. No, no, no, no, no. What's going to happen is that you're going to get off my horse and let me ride her back alone without asking any awkward questions. Or speaking of this ever again." She knew she was in no position to argue or bargain, but she also knew that Link was a good, decent man who would never take advantage of her no matter how **** and exposed she was, so she was going to push him around as much as she could.

"Not a chance," Link said. "Even if you were dressed, I wouldn't want you riding through Hyrule Field at night. See that light in the distance? I'd bet a red rupee that's a Poe haunting its own grave, and then there's the random Stalfos who like being dead about as much as you'd expect, Deku Babas, Deku Scrubs, Peahats, Wolfos–"

"Okay, I get it," Malon said. "You have a big sword and I don't, so you won't leave me alone."

"That's about it," Link said, missing her innuendo entirely.

Malon sighed. Link was, after all, a good, decent man, which also meant that he would never turn his back on her if she needed help, no matter how much she wanted him to. Well, there wasn't much she could do in her situation. She could argue with him until the sun came up, but that would only increase her chances of someone else finding her like this, so she might as well get it over with.

"Close your eyes," she ordered.

"They're closed."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Because if I catch them open before I'm ready …"

"They're closed! I promise, I'm not going to look at you unless you want me to."

Malon considered the implications of her wanting him to look at her, but she was probably reading too much into it. She stepped forward hesitantly, grabbed onto Link's arm (he was still looking the other way), and pulled herself up onto Epona's back.

Epona was a strong horse, and a fast horse, and possibly the most stubborn horse Malon had ever raised, but she was not a big horse. She could carry one rider just fine, but two was a bit of a squeeze. To keep from falling off, Malon had to press her body against Link's back and wrap her arms around his waist. She realized that she was naked with Link both in her arms and between her legs and blushed.