Let's look into Mrs. Pill

"Hey, I need to grab my computer," you say. "I'm going to run to my locker; I'll be right back."

"Okay," Rebecca says, taking a seat in front of Rachel's email. "I'll be here."

You dash to your locker, desperately hoping not to run into any of the other cheerleaders. Whatever Ariel's weird plan is, you hope you can finish your funny business and move on to the sexy business before it gets going.

You grab your computer from your locker and make it back to the shop without incident. Rebecca is delightedly looking through Rachel's emails--you can see she's searched for the term "boyfriend."

You open your laptop and get to work.

First, you log into your email. You see the exported password document, seemingly sent to you "from Rachel," and you open it on your computer. Everything came from Chrome (Must be a Google family like me), so you decide to go for broke. You log out of your own Gmail account and sign in to Rachel's.

You nearly salivate as the two-factor identification code shows up on her phone, which Rebecca hands to you. You enter it and see Rachel's inbox on your computer. The newest email indicates a new login from an unfamiliar computer. Delete.

You log out of Chrome on your laptop and sign in with Rachel's credentials. I'll look forward to browsing your history later, you think slyly.

But first: Mrs. Pill.

You locate in the password list what must be her personal email address. Fucking AOL? you chortle. You know that Gmail is a stickler for two-factor authorization, but hey - there's at least a chance she hasn't activated it on her AOL email.

You head for your first time ever to aol dot com and click "login." Username, password, enter.

You've got fucking mail! you cheer as Mrs. Pill's inbox appears before you, with tens of thousands of messages that must date all the way back to her own high school days.

The newest email is an alert of an unfamiliar login to Rachel's email. Delete. You notice in Rachel's inbox an alert of an unfamiliar login to her mom's email. Cute, you think. They're each other's backup email address. And then: Delete.

You've managed to get into two hotties' email accounts on your own computer, with the opportunity to leisurely browse at will. The upload is nearly finished; maybe time for one quick poke around.