Late February. You were at Laura's apartment (you'd told Emma you had to study) when Laura brought up the first kiss.
"Have you kissed her yet?" she asked. You were both on the couch, ostensibly watching a movie, but Laura kept pausing it to dissect your love life.
"Not really," you admitted.
"What does 'not really' mean?"
"Like, a peck. After our second date. Nothing serious."
Laura set down her wine glass. "Tim. You've been seeing her for three weeks. Why haven't you properly kissed her?"
You knew why. Because every time you got close to Emma, you thought about Laura. About how her mouth tasted, how she kissed with complete confidence, how she made you feel like you were drowning in a good way.
"I don't know," you lied.
"Yes, you do," Laura said. "You're comparing her to me. And that's not fair to either of you."
She shifted to face you fully. "Here's what you're going to do. Next time you're with Emma, and she's giving you the signals - and trust me, if she's been waiting three weeks, she's giving you signals - you're going to kiss her. Really kiss her. Not thinking about me. Not thinking about anything except her."
"What if …."
"No 'what ifs,'" Laura interrupted. "You're going to do it. And you're going to tell me how it goes."
"That's weird."
"It's not weird. I'm your best friend. Best friends talk about this stuff." She picked up her wine again. "And besides, I need to know you're actually trying. Not just going through the motions to make me happy."
________________________________________
You kissed Emma on your fourth date. In her car, after a movie, when she leaned in with clear intent and you stopped overthinking long enough to just do it.
It was good. Really good, actually. She tasted like cherry chapstick and she made this small surprised sound when you deepened the kiss that made something in your chest crack open.
When you told Laura about it- because she'd texted _you how did it go?? _approximately twelve seconds after you dropped Emma off - she actually cheered.
Laura: YES. See? I told you. how do you feel?
You: confused
Laura: why confused?
You: because I liked it but I also feel guilty
Laura: guilty about what? about me?
You: yeah
Laura: tim. we talked about this. you're allowed to like other people. that's literally the whole point.
You: I know but it feels like cheating
Laura: we're not together. we've never been together. you're not cheating on anyone.
You: it still feels wrong
Laura: come over tomorrow after school. we need to talk about this.
________________________________________
"You need to stop thinking of me as your girlfriend," Laura said the next day. She was grading papers at her kitchen table, and you were sitting across from her like a student getting lectured - which, technically, you were.
"I don't think of you as my girlfriend."
"Yes, you do," she said, not looking up from the essay she was marking. "You text me constantly. You get jealous when I mention Marcus. You feel guilty when you kiss Emma. Those are all boyfriend feelings directed at me. And they need to stop."
"I'm trying …"
"I know you're trying," she said, finally looking up. Her expression was gentle. "But trying isn't enough. You need to actively retrain yourself. So here's what we're doing."
She pulled out her phone. "We're establishing rules. Boundaries. Things that will help you see this", she gestured between you, "as what it actually is. A friendship."
"We've had sex," you pointed out.
"We've had sex," she agreed. "And that was a mistake. Not because I regret it, but because it confused things for you. So we're going to stop. Effective immediately."
Your stomach dropped. "What?"
"No more sex," she said firmly. "No more late-night visits that turn into hookups. No more blurred lines. If you're going to date Emma, if you're going to actually give her a fair shot, you can't keep sleeping with me."
"I don't want to stop," you said, and hated how pathetic you sounded.
"I know," she said softly. "But it's for your own good. And honestly? It's for mine too. I don't want to be the person who keeps you stuck."
She reached across the table and took your hand. "You're my best friend, Tim. I want you in my life. But I can't have you in my life the way we've been doing it. It's hurting you. Can you understand that?"
You wanted to argue. You wanted to say you were fine, that you could handle it, that you didn't need her protection. But you looked at her face - Laura's face, with Randall's memories behind her eyes - and you knew she was right.
"Yeah," you said quietly. "I understand."
"Good." She squeezed your hand once, then let go. "Now tell me about Emma. What does she like? What are you guys doing for your next date?"
________________________________________
Over the next month, Laura became your dating coach in earnest. She texted you advice:
Laura: did you compliment her outfit today?
Laura: stop overthinking. just ask her to hang out this weekend.
Laura: if she's talking about her art, ASK QUESTIONS. show interest. women love when you actually listen.
Laura: do NOT compare her to me in your head. that's self-sabotage.
She even helped you plan dates. When you mentioned wanting to do something special for Emma's birthday, Laura spent an hour on the phone walking you through ideas, vetoing the bad ones ("Mini golf is cute when you're 14, Tim, but she's 18"), endorsing the good ones ("A picnic at the park with her favorite foods? That's actually really sweet").
The weird part was: it worked. The more you focused on Emma, the more you saw her as her own person instead of "not-Laura." She was funny in a different way: self-deprecating and observational. She was affectionate in a way Laura wasn't: constant small touches, hand-holding, leaning into you.
And slowly, painfully, you started to feel something shift.
________________________________________
It happened in April. You were making out with Emma in her bedroom (her parents were out) and things escalated. She pulled off her shirt, and you pulled off yours, and somewhere in the fumbling with her bra clasp and the breathless laughter when you couldn't get it undone, you realized:
You hadn't thought about Laura once.
Not during the kissing. Not during the touching. Not even when Emma whispered, "Is this okay?" and you said yes and meant it completely.
Afterward, lying next to Emma while she traced patterns on your chest, you felt something you hadn't felt in months: present. Like you were actually in your own life instead of living in the shadow of someone else's.
When Laura texted you later that night - how was your day? - you didn't respond immediately. You let it sit. You finished the conversation with Emma first, kissed her goodbye, drove home in a daze.
Only then did you text back.
You: it was good. really good actually.
Laura: yeah? what happened?
You: just hung out with emma. it was nice.
Laura: ...just nice?
You: more than nice. I think I'm actually falling for her.
There was a long pause. Then:
Laura: that's amazing tim. I'm so proud of you.
You stared at the message. Proud of you. Like you were a student who'd finally mastered a difficult concept. Like you'd graduated from needing her.
You: thanks for pushing me
Laura: always. that's what best friends do.
And for the first time since this whole thing started, you believed it.
________________________________________
The sex stopped. The late-night visits became occasional coffee meetups. Your texts got shorter, less frequent. Laura started dating Marcus seriously—met his parents, talked about summer plans together. You started thinking about college with Emma, about whether long-distance could work, about what your future looked like beyond high school.
Laura still checked in. Still gave advice. Still called herself your best friend. But the intensity faded. The **** need you'd felt for months—like you couldn't breathe without her attention—dissipated into something calmer. Affection without obsession.
One night in May, you were studying for finals when Emma asked you, "Are you still in love with her?"
You'd told Emma there was "someone before" but never the details. Never the name.
"No," you said. And you meant it.
"Good," Emma said, kissing your temple. "Because I'm falling in love with you. And I'd like you to be here for it."
"I am," you said. "I'm here."
And you were.
Comments