Keeping his Head Low

The family ate quietly but contentedly by candlelight as the sun began to sink low. I poked at the food calmly, trying to hide my delight at having something of quality to eat. Seemed they had duck – maybe Donnie or Thag had hunted? The meal was simple and gamy, but it may as well have been a 5-star meal.

“Great as always May,” Donnie said simply. His tone didn’t betray much emotion despite being a compliment.

“Oh, Anna did most of the work,” I replied. Speaking was still strange I found – my voice higher and softer simultaneously. “Wanted to see what she could do on her own.”

“Hmph. In that case, good work girl,” Donnie grunted, giving Anna a nod. She gave a gentle smile and nod back, seemingly proud.

_‘She’s certainly friendlier than her father, but somehow even more quiet,’ _I thought to myself.

The mood then grew more grim as Donnie began to explain what happened in the morning. The “cursed” lad was dead in the barn – nothing they could do. I nodded along for my own part, letting Donnie do the talking. I looked at the two kids and scanned their reactions. Anna seemed sad, but only as sad as someone who never really me the dead party could be. Thag for his part seemed… disappointed?

“So, Thag and I will be heading into Barley tomorrow with the body to see about it getting disposed of properly, lest that curse spread out to someone else.” His expression perked up a bit at that. I could only guess how bored he was with his day to the day on the barn. ‘Any little novelty to keep him going I guess.’

“It might be a day or so til we get back depending on what the roads and weather are like; maybe we’ll see about finishing some other errands while we’re there. I hope you two can hold down the fort?” I decided to hold my tongue on the matter and merely nodded. As much as I wanted to see this town and maybe see about moving on from this body, the chance to get to know the household and my current self without the father or son watching me would be invaluable. The daughter seemed vacant overall. I could maneuver around her fine.

“Anna and I will pack you some food for the trip,” I pitched in. Donnie nodded and told Thag to be ready to head out with a cart at the crack of dawn.

I was lucky to find the master bedroom on my first try, quietly shuffling in and going though the modest wardrobes of May and Donnie while he was still downstairs, smoking a pipe or carving wood or whatever it is farmers do in their free time.

Her dresses were mostly all the same. Simple material, off-whites. Only the occasional splash of color. Plain fabrics meant for work. One was a bit brighter though – white and green instead of brown. Softer, with some laced patterns. _‘Must be for nice occasion.’ _Then I came across the nightgown, a single off-white slip of fabric. It was much looser than the dress I was wearing now. Didn’t contour around the body much at all.

I took to the task then of unlacing the current dress I was in. I wasn’t really sure how I had gotten it on in the first place, so it was a moment or two before I could throw it off. The one grace I had in here was a mirror – surprisingly big too. Not full body by any means, but almost half my current height and nailed up for easy use. ‘Must be expensive. Maybe a gift or an heirloom?’

Then I threw it off onto the bed, and was standing in the room staring at myself in nothing but my undergarments. Since morning I had barely had the opportunity to really look over myself and process this: I was really this woman. I could see all of May’s curves now, exposed to the elements. Her hair was hanging loose now – I could feel it tickle at my back. I reached up hesitantly, and took a soft press at my new breasts, head back by some cotton garment wrapped over my chest. I was suddenly very glad I didn’t need to wear a corset. ‘One advantage of being a peasant.’

“Ooooh,” I moaned involuntarily. It felt good. I grabbed them tighter and felt a jolt of pleasure run through. Was this how May always felt? Or was it just my own feeling amplified through her body? My hands rubbed outwards, then reached the sides, and I brushed them down the silhouette of my new form, feeling and gripping at all the curves before ending at my ass, squeezing tight. There was a thrill to it beyond simple masturbating – I was the predator and the victim at the same time. I could feel my heart racing, but I held myself back. If I got to worked up, I might lose myself, and my husband might want to join in. The thought was enough to kill my brief buzz.

I still gave my body another look over in the mirror though. This time I could catch the marks of age. Small little scars on my new arms and hands – nicks and burns from the kitchen. Some hints of wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. Creases where she had just a bit too much skin. May was pretty for sure, but not necessarily graceful or elegant. Stretch marks too, a reminder that this body had given birth before. Technically _I _had.

That seemed a bit out of my depth of comprehension. While I had briefly fallen into the role of mother and matriarch, standing here and really looking over this body served as a stark reminder: It wasn’t mine. I was just wearing it. It felt like borrowing someone else’s coat… or sleeping in their bed. You could just tell it wasn’t meant for you. ‘Perhaps a newer body would feel better? A younger one – fewer signs of use.’

I slipped on the nightgown – also used as I thought on it – and plopped down in May’s bed regardless of whether or not it was mine. If I could go to sleep before Donnie came upstairs, I could perhaps avoid answering questions, and I could maybe even ignore the discomfort of having to sleep next to a stranger. The bed wasn’t as good as what I had back home, but that hardly mattered. It was like sleeping on a cloud compared to what I had been dealing with before. I was soon out like a light and fully asleep, my mind spinning with possibilities for the next day.

It has been a while since I dreamed – or atleast had a dream coherent enough to remember. I saw May, going about her day on the farmhold. Making sure her home was clean, the animals were cared for, and the family was fed and clothed. She was pale though – and thinner than usual. Her eyes more tired than usual.

And an emaciated shadow was draped over her back, latched tightly onto her with its arms around her neck, its eyes two silver pits of gloomy light with no other features. She carried it around seemingly unaware of the toll it took on her. She spoke only in the words that it whispered in her ear, and she followed all its orders without fail.

No one else could see the shadow – only me as a disembodied onlooker.

I awoke with a start – a half-dressed man hanging over me and prodding my shoulder. I was about to shout before I got a grip, the strange events of the last day all coming back at once.

“Are you okay dear?” Donnie asked gruffly. His tone didn’t convey much concern, but his eyes seemed to indicate sincerity.

“Uh, yes. Sorry, bad dreams.” My voice was a bit slurred, as I was still unaccustomed to it.

“Hrmm,” Donnie grumbled. “That kid was bad luck… well don’t worry, we’re going to handle it. Come on, figured you’d see us off.”

I nodded and got out of bed. Donnie spared little time in getting dressed and heading off to prepare himself and Thag for the trip. I could see from the window only the barest traces of the morning. Birds were barely chirping and the farm animals were still quiet. I walked over to the mirror and looked myself up and down. May’s body seemed no worse for wear than the day before. Still plump and bright – soft features and kind eyes. Not at all like the pallid and sickly version of her I saw in the dream. No shadow wrapped around her neck – or I suppose my neck. I took another squeeze at my breasts – it still felt amazing. I knew I’d have more time later though, so I decided to focus on more important things, dressing in a white blouse along with a long red skirt. The little bit of color felt like a nice personalization, as opposed to the drab brown of yesterday.

I set about preparing breakfast for the family with Anna. She seemed a bit put off by the early hour, but I sensed that this was only a bit unusual for the family. I supposed this was just an aspect of peasant-life, your work day starts with the sun. ‘Can’t say I’m a fan.’

Thankfully, the morning passed easy. The family seemed happy and at-ease, but didn’t have many outward signs of affection passed between them. I was grateful for this; a quiet household was easier to go unnoticed in. Donnie and Thag were gone within the hour after my ‘daughter’ and I set up the cart and prepared some traveling food for them. If all went easy, they said they’d be back as soon as possible – maybe that evening but more likely the next morning.

‘To dispose of my corpse,’ I thought with a shiver. Still, I had the run of the farm to myself. I could look over the whole place with only Anna to question me, and she seemed a bit too vapid to notice if anything was amiss with her mother. I idly wondered how passive she might be as I set about some basic tasks to occupy myself, like feeding and watering the animals.

‘Now is my time to plan, and experiment. I don’t have hunger and fear dragging me down. I just have to figure out how to turn this all to my advantage.’