Jump forward a year.

Jane awoke to an **** headache and blurred vision.

For a moment, she was reminded of the time she had been resurrected by Cerberus. No doubt the final battle, and the firing of the Crucible, had taken it's toll on her.

Shepard sat up, only for a wave of pain to invade her brain. Her right hand shot to her forehead, only to be shocked at the sensation of metal on her face. Blinking rapidly, Jane focused her eyesight. Her stomach sank as where once had been a normal, human right arm, was a metal prosthetic. It looked like they'd grafted it onto her off a damn geth. What the hell was going, she thought, frantically looking around the sterile lab.

"Ah, you're awake. Most excellent." A woman's voice, French-accented and vaguely familiar, came from the door. Shepard swivelled, to get a good look at it's owner.

Dr. Michel. A human doctor who had owned a med clinic on the Citadel, way before the Reapers or the Collectors. Some might have considered it vanity, but Jane had always been quite partial to redheads.

Ignoring an unusual stirring in her groin, Shepard asked Chloe Michel what was happening, as she crossed over to the slab to administer some tests.

"You were gravely wounded when the Crucible fired. Transported across the galaxy, in fact. Luckily, Drs. Lawson and T'Soni found your remains, and restored you once again."

"Plus a few added nuts and bolts." Shepard joked weakly. Dr. Michele cleared her throat.

"I'll inform the project leaders about your awakening shortly, Commander." the Frenchwoman said, her voice full of respect for her charge.

"Where are they now?" Shepard asked.

"In their offices, I would assume. After spending billions reconstructing you, it's simply been a matter of waiting for you to regain consciousness for the past few weeks." Michele answered.

"I must say, Commander, I'm rather impressed with your reaction to all of this. Few would take such a change so easily." The doctor continued.

Jane chuckled. By now, she had a little more experience with revival than most people.

"You mean the arm, right?" Shepard responded, once again glancing uneasily at her new appendage. "I won't lie, it's a jarring change, but I think I can adapt in time."

If she tried with all her might, she could just about manage to will her new three-fingered hand to close into a fist. Clearly, she had a lot of rehabilitation ahead of her before she could pop off headshots alongside Garrus.

"Pardonez moi, Commander, but I wasn't referring to your arm." Dr. Michel said awkwardly. "You haven't looked down? Below your waist?"

As Jane followed the doctor's orders, her eyes practically bulged out of her newly reconstructed head. On a nearby monitor, Shepard's heart rate shot up.

She'd awoken nude. Now, as she sat, staring down into her lap, was the erect, weeping shape of a cock.

Erect, it was about 25cm in length. It wasn't even human, instead resembling some manner of alien life, albeit none Shepard was familiar with.

"W-what the fuck?" Jane gasped, idly palming the bumpy, green skin of her new appendage.

"Apologies, Commander," Dr. Michel began, doing her best to mitigate Shepard's adverse reaction. "When Dr. T'Soni and Miss Lawson found you, unknown planetary wildlife had fused with your DNA."

"C-can you remove it?" Shepard asked, fingers tracing up her new shaft, to the pointy tip it culminated in.

"Unfortunately, no." Dr. Michele explained. "The alien life's fusion with your DNA was too complete. It's part of you now. We believe to remove it would only result in your ****."

Shepard gasped for breath, trying to compose herself. She had awoken to some terrible situations during her life, but this took the cake.