Ivy

The famous series's poster girl shows up on your screen, complete with whip-sword and leather gear that looks more like stripper wear than actual armor. Her close-cut silvery hair is blowing over her face as though there's some kind of windstorm. Before you know it, you've picked her out and started reading over her info.

Strength: 6
Speed: 4
Eh, you were never one for all this bean-counting. You scroll down to the fun stuff.
...
Age: 28, 32-49 (Age variants? Kinda modern, but... why the dash? Hmmm, you think you remember something in the lore about that...)
Height: 5'10"
Blood Type: Unknown (Heh. That'll screw with that fortune-telling nonsense.)
...
Personality: Ruthless, goal-oriented, and sadistic, but has a playful sense of humor and a very basic idea of right and wrong, even if she doesn't always obey it. Inside, desperately wants to be free from her father's legacy. Very solitary out of both habit and temperament.
Alignment: Neutral
Corruption Status: Tainted
...
Okay, here's the juicy part!
Sexual Status: Experienced, but celibate. (Geez. You're curious, but who wants to carve through thirty games' worth of lore, plus spin-offs?)
Fertility: 84, 74 (Well, at least it's pretty straightforward.)
Status Effects: Ageless: Frozen in time at age 32. (Oh, so that's why!)
Mental State: Obsessive, somewhat unbalanced. (Eh, just as well. You never did go for the full-crazies.)
Driving Emotion: Freedom.

Well, even if you don't know the whole story, it seems to paint a picture you can more-or-less understand. You hit the select button, and the camera draws close to her head, as her face flashes an evil smile. "Strangle!".

The anticlimactic loading screen flashes tips at you:

*Check your characters stats often, they might change!