It's far worse

Dear Diary, (May 23rd)

It has been several days since I last had the chance to write on these pages. It seems that my master liked the last entry I wrote and the picture that went with it . I believe it amuses him to have me document my training as his newest ****.

While I was still in Havenhall's library, my cousin enlisted the help of Kyleson to strip off my dress until only a thin shift was covering my naked body. I suspect that if Priscilla Manton had not been present, even that last scrap of cloth would have been taken from me too.

I had hoped that perhaps, because our close relationship, that my cousin might send me back to Philadelphia where I could return to my mother and my life of naïve idealism. However, when I saw the undisguised desire in Manton's eyes, I knew that my fate was going to be far less pleasant.

Twenty minutes later I found myself on my knees with my hands tied behind my back. The last bit of covering had been stripped away by Manton as soon as we were in the privacy of the barn and a rope collar was tied about my neck like I was a stray dog. Manton and Kyleson stood behind me admiring the sight as I seethed in anger and frustration.

“What do you think a light-skinned doe like this might go for in auction?” My cousin's question made it clear that in his eyes at least I was little more than another part of his newly acquired property.

“Well, she's young and healthy,” they were talking about me like I wasn't even there, “but completely untrained. I guess 'bout $800. Unless of course you sold her as a 'Fancy girl'. If she fucks as good as she looks, she'll go for well over $1,000 to the right man.” Kyleson paused as a new thought struck him, “even more if she still has her flower to pluck.” He put his foot on my thigh to get my attention. “You still a virgin, girl? Or did you spread those pretty legs of yours for some Yankee doodle up North.”

I understood so little at the time. I remember how shocked and outraged I was at his outrageous question - I still didn't really understand that as a **** I had no right to privacy. I learned the hard way. Kneeling as I was with my back to the men, I couldn't see Kyleson reach for the whip hanging on the wall, so the first blow on my back made me scream in surprise as much as pain. I guess, in hindsight, that I should be thankful he didn't used the bull whip I'd seen him carry in the fields. The braided cords of short whip at least didn't cut into my flesh, but it was still the most painful thing I've ever felt.

“See what I mean about this new heifer needing training?” Kyleson stopped after the fourth blow. By that time, I was face down in the sand and my back felt like it was on fire. This time when he put his boot on my shoulder and asked if I was still a virgin, I blathered out my answer.

“No.” I whimpered softly, “I've had a couple lovers.”

“No, Master.” Kyleson corrected me and trailed the cords of the training whip across my back as a warning. For just a second, I considered rebelling, but I lacked the will and quietly submitted.

“Yes, Master.” It was awful in every way. I've lost my freedom, my dignity and my will to stand up for myself in the space of less than an hour, but the worst was still to come.