It's Pretty Boring, Till She Stops At The State Welcome Center To Get A Roadmap And Use The Bathroom...

Two-and-a-half-hours butt-in-the-seat and driving, I'm about to leave my home state behind. I flip off the smoky sitting a mile from the border with a radar gun and drive PRECISELY the speed limit past him and across the border into the state where I'm going to go to college, (No I won't tell you which one, see if you can figure it out from the landmarks...) and wave to the highway patrol on the other side.

I almost immediately pull off into the welcome center to get a free roadmap, (never know when your phone's charge cord could give out when you're sitting at 15%...) and stretch my legs for a bit. I see this really cute lesbian couple wearing pride shirts pushing matching double strollers closed up against the afternoon sun into the bathroom and realize I have to pee wicked bad.

I follow them in and back into a random stall, then do a double take, sitting on the seat of the toilet is a gift basket, but, what's inside it...

There's a selection of various sex toys, all mint-in-package, and a little rainbow flag card, which I pick up and read...

"Dearest Stranger who has found this gift:

My wife and I have just been both blessed with a pair of beautiful twins and a $500,000 signing bonus for her becoming a senior partner at a California architectural firm: so in celebration, we are leaving these gift baskets in the women's rooms of every state welcome center we pass on our way to our new home in the golden state. Please accept our generosity and don't call the TSA or anything, we'd hate for you to miss out on this free selection of brand new copies of our favorite sex toys, which are all totally harmless...

Your Happy Benefactors:

'Butch' and 'Cassidy'...

I Turn the card over, looking at it carefully, on the back, there's a PS in a different hand,

PS: Harmlessness of toys not guaranteed if misused, used to excess, used in public, or used for unlawful purposes.
'Butch'
PPS: 'Cassidy' and I've done all of those but one with our copies of most of them, guess which? (^_0)

I put the card down and look at the basket again...