Brain Needs a Lay

If felt sorry for my friend Brian he hasn't seen the inside of a vagina since he was born, and even then he didn't get a very good look. I don't know what is wrong with him, other than the EVIL second head growing on his left shoulder.

Personally I've never had a problem getting laid. I never even had to ask for sex. When ever I walk in a room the girls see me and bend over and plead for me to ram them just once.

I've tried everything to get him laid, but every time I introduce him to a girl they puke and punch him the groin. I think he's starting to like it though.

Today I have resolved to put all my time and effort into getting him to jelly a doughnut.

I started off by buying him some cloths and removing the mud flaps from his ass. Which wasn't easy because he was born with them. Then I tied them to the roof of my jeep and took him to the car wash. I paid the car washer and she gave me change then punched him in the balls. By the time we got to hot wax section of the wash we saw Johnny Knoxville and Stevo getting erections by hitting each other in the sac with billiard balls.

We got their autographs and helped them out by shooting their erect cocks with paintballs. They squirted instantly.