In the car

Sarah had only made it as far as the car before her emotions over took her and she bawled. She couldn't drive, she couldn't do anything. Questions flew threw her mind. How could they be so horrid to her? How dare he say he wants a divorce? What did she do wrong? Why was she being made out to be the villain? How could Tilly lie about not enjoying it?

That last one stuck with her and a single word rang in her ears '****'. Surely she was exaggerating. Surely that word didn't apply here. She had altered her thoughts a little, sure but then why would she feel any kind of regret? Why would that word even come into her imagination if she had truly wanted it? Maybe there was a limit to her abilities or maybe she just wasn't skilled enough with them. Oh God, had she **** poor sweet Tilly. All those things that Jim did to her, underneath the cries of pleasure and enjoyment was it just surface level and underneath she was tortured?

The world seemed to spin around Sarah and she flung her arms out in fear she would fall even though she was sat down and she started to hyperventilate. Was she a monster? Surely she wasn't but if even if Tilly had just not liked it a bit and Sarah had made her pretend to like it. That made her a monster, they were right.

And Jo. She was attracted to Jim but she had had to pry her away from Phil. She wouldn't have done it if Sarah hadn't altered her. She had crippled Phil and now their marriage was on the rocks. Sarah had done that. Phil and Jo were one of the most stable couples she knew and she had pulled it apart for what? So Jim could fuck over his rival and revel in fucking his wife? That was an awful thing to do. Why did she do that?

The world continued to spin as emotions ripped through Sarah. Jim. Beautiful, sexy Jim. What did he offer her really? The sex? Oh god yes, the sex, the amazing sex and the way he treated her. She had never realised how much she craved the sort of treatment he gave her but then what? If she didn't have the power to keep the sex going as long as she wanted where would that leave them? Maybe sex every day, maybe even a bit more but maybe less. Then after that? A quiet empty apartment, shopping for clothes similar to ones she already had, meals out and takeaways because he couldn't cook and she wasn't used to it as Tom did most of it. She missed his cooking.

It was too late. He had told her to leave. He didn't want her any more. Who could blame him? Who would want to be with a bitch like her? Maybe, maybe she could put it right and it would all be okay. She wracked her brain but couldn't think how. She cried again. She couldn't let it end like this. She couldn't carry on like she was. She was something she would once have despised. Not a sex mad bimbo, she liked that but she was a terrible person.

No, she needed to get better but she needed help. There was only one person she could think of to help her fix this.