I produce a pink inhaler, but... (Item required)

I'd come prepared for this situation. Of course, when I'd come up with this, I hadn't planned on being the cause of the asthma attack I was saving Jessica from. There was no point in beating myself up over it now, though.

I produced my special inhaler, imbued with my Pink Trigger's power. Using this inhaler in the right situation would enable me to immediately bring about the romantic ending I craved. After all, what could be more simple? The princess is in trouble. The knight arrives in the nick of time. Happily ever after.

As I looked at Jessica, I realized there was just one problem... her face was still covered in my release. No matter, I'll... just clean it off before I use this-

That moment of hesitation cost me everything. Here was Kanon, barging in through the door. He dashed to his young mistress, nailing me to the wall with his cold stare as he began using a pocket cloth to clean her face with no hesitation.

Then, to my shock, that servant swiped my inhaler. Hey! You're already carrying your own, aren't you, Kanon? You owe me fifty points for that!

I watched helplessly as Kanon used my secret weapon to ease Jessica's suffering. Oh, look. She's feeling better so quickly. Now, Jessica is slowly opening her eyes to see her savior... that handsome servant boy.

Well, this love is beautiful in its own way, isn't it? This is still an enjoyable outcome.

"Kanon..." Jessica gasped, leaning up too quickly for someone who'd just been suffering an attack. "It was you...?"

Kanon didn't fully understand the question, but he did his best to answer. "You were alone with the tutor, Mr. Player... I sensed something was wrong. Mr. Player shocked you... in a disgraceful manner," Kannon muttered, shooting me a glare again. You're welcome, Kanon! Not that I'm jealous or upset or anything. This romantic scene is still beautiful.

"Right... Mr. Player... He..." Jessica started, before coughing again. Kanon did his best to support her, and... ah. She had moved her hands to that reliable young gentleman's chest. Good for him. "Kanon..."

"Yes, milady," Kanon responded, still stiffly serious as always. "I'm here for you."

"Kanon, I... wouldn't have minded... if it was you, you know?"

Eh?

"... Milady?" Kanon asked, not comprehending.

Jessica frowned, mumbling as she lifted herself to a sitting position. She pressed closer in towards Kanon. "Don't make me say it again! This is taking a lot of... courage for me... I'm saying that whether it was you playing a prank... or... d-doing something to my face... I wouldn't mind, okay? As long as it's you..."

Eh?!

"Milady, that's... not appropriate," Kanon responded like a gutless coward who doesn't know his head from his ass. "I'm furniture, after all..." Oh, there's his catchphrase! Do you think that makes you sound cool, Kanon? "You're still not well... Let me clean-"

Jessica didn't give him a chance to continue, apparently feeling full of courage now. Heedless of the stains of my deed still in her hair that Kanon hadn't gotten around to cleaning yet, she pressed in even closer now, topping the young man and locking lips with him. I could see Kanon resisting like an idiot for what felt like half an hour before finally giving in to the awesome gift he stol- I mean, I graciously gave to him. Wow, look at that young love. For first time kissers, they're really using their tongues. Wow, now Kanon is even grabbing her ass? Great. What excellent erotica I've written.

Three's a crowd, so I decided to jump from a high window and leave those two lovebirds to themselves. As a favor to them, you see.

Nobody wants me around anyway!