I couldn't process what had just happened

I sat there, traumatized. The euphoria from five minutes earlier had evaporated, leaving me empty. A drop of water landed on my leg, and I realized that my tear ducts were betraying me for the second time that day. Burying me face in my pillow, sobs rocked my body. My fingernails dug into the palms of my hands as I clenched my fists in fury.

I must’ve cried myself to sleep, because the next thing I remembered was my alarm. Fuck that alarm. I wiped my eyes and massaged my boobs, wincing – sleeping in a bra is never a good idea.

I didn’t get up. Not for a while, at least. Eventually, I heard the sounds of Liam getting dressed, and I dragged myself out of bed. Not even bothering to change my underwear, I threw on my school uniform and trudged downstairs.

I cobbled some toast together, and just as I sat down at the table to eat it Liam shuffled in. We exchanged a long look, which said all it needed to.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

He put a small stack of cold pancakes on a plate, poured some honey over it, and began eating. “I meant it, you know,” he said.

“So did I,” I replied, smiling sadly. “Did Mom say anything else to you?”

“No.”

We finished our breakfasts in silence, and Liam tidied up the plates. As he made to go upstairs, I grabbed his arm and pulled his lips to mine, searching for the security of his embrace. I found it.

We swayed over to the sideboard and Liam lifted me onto it, then pulled my skirt up past my hips. Even as I wanted him, so, so badly, I mustered the strength of will to pull away.

“You want to do this now?” I asked. “What about Mom and Dad?”

“Fuck them. They’re at work anyway,” Liam said. There was a strange fire in his eyes.

“Not now. Not here,” I said, pushing him away and smoothing down my skirt. It seemed to take all of his willpower, but he eventually nodded.

“Sorry.”

I kissed him quickly but chastely, so he didn’t get the wrong idea. “Don’t be.”

We walked to school together, arms around each other, and only separated at the last possible moment before people would see us. I **** a smile as I saw Jasmine and Chrissie waiting for me as usual. And, as usual, Chrissie saw right through it.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

I glanced over at Liam, who was talking to his friend Ryan, and hesitated.