Huitres Nature

In the dining hall, the energy of the room was muted. Caleb was having a hard time staying out of his head, and Lily could tell. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, she broached the gap,

“Alright, Caleb, it’s clear something is on your mind. Can you please share? I want to enjoy this vacation together, and I’m not going to be able to if I can tell you’re distressed.” The flower girl reached across the table and grabbed his hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Caleb sighed. Amy had told him to go along with whatever was happening. He suspected a sabotage, but she might also just be pretending. Though he honestly doubted her ability to fake everything she had done so far today. He paused and then made a decision, “Hey, Lil, are you happy with the way things are?”

There was a pause, and then a look of surprise and panic crossed over Lily’s features, “Caleb? What do you mean?”

Caleb held her hand tight, no matter what this was, it was a chance to finally clear the air, “This vacation we are on is great, but back home…I got the feeling that you didn’t care much about our relationship.”

Lily recoiled as if she had been slapped, “What are you talking about, Caleb? The only reason I agreed to come here was to be able to spend time with you.”

Gritting his teeth, Caleb continued, “So why…why does it feel like you’re avoiding me all the time? It feels like we hardly get any time together at all.”

At this point, Lily took her hand back, and her face began to shift from distress to anger, “If you’re talking about how busy I’ve been, you knew this year would be chaotic. My coursework is full of labs, so yeah, Caleb, I’m going to be busy. That’s not my choice.”

Caleb felt emotions he had been holding back for years begin to well up, like a hot spring struck by a pickaxe, “Right, but when you’re done for the day, you always tell me you need time to cool off, and then you spend it all by yourself. I’m lucky to even get a text back from you during that time.”

The green woman’s face took on a shade of red, “Of course I need time to cool off, Caleb, I’m an introvert I need time to myself, and if I’m spending so much time in classes, of course it’s going to mean I rest more…Listen I’m sorry if you’ve felt neglected but you also have to respect my needs as a person.”

Clenching his fists, Caleb pushed forward, “You still manage to make time for your friends though, movie nights, hangouts, going for coffee. But if I try to arrange a date, you’re too exhausted or you don’t have the time, or you have school work to catch up on.”

Tears began to well up in Lily’s eyes, “What do you want me to say Caleb? I don’t know what you want right now. Do you hate me, is that it?”

“No!” Caleb gripped the table tightly, his knuckles turning white, “Lily, I just wanted to have time with you. I was lonely, and it felt like you had time for everything except me! I never brought it up because I felt like it was unreasonable. I knew you had legitimate demands on your time, but it didn’t stop it from feeling awful.”

Lily paused, “I’m sorry Caleb that it made you feel that way, ok? I didn’t think it bothered you, I thought-” Lily took time to gather her thoughts, then continued, “I thought that if we could get through this hard bit, I could count on you being there for me on the other side.”

Caleb’s chest hurt; there was catharsis in getting these feelings out, but at the same time, it was like viewing a world he’d never get to live in. Maybe if he had just been open with his feelings, they wouldn’t have sat and festered. He and Lily could have known how the other felt, and he never would have been tempted by the feelings of actually being heard for once. The worst of it all was acknowledging in this moment that he had had the power all along to fix this situation.

He remembered always pushing these feelings away. Worried that Lily would dismiss them or get angry with him for feeling the way he did. But here in front of him was the evidence that the only roadblock in his way had been him.

Feeling the wetness welling in his own eyes, he raised his sleeve and wiped away the hot tears that had been forming, “I want to be there on the other side for you, just maybe we can make some time to be together? It doesn’t need to be much, just…sharing space would be enough sometimes.”

Caleb knew it didn’t change anything. There was no changing what had happened between the two of them at this point. There was still a part of him that felt it was important to play it out, to see the end he never got to see.

So when Lily locked eyes with him and smiled, tears still in her eyes, he felt his heart shudder even as it broke, “Of course, I’m willing to do that much, Caleb. You’re important to me, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that wasn’t the case…I know what it’s like to be ignored, and I never wanted to make you feel that way.”

Their food arrived, and Caleb kept his eyes on Lily. Of course, she’d be understanding. Of course, she knew. How often had she complained about her parents ignoring her for the sake of her perfect sister? Why had he been unable to see the path ahead of him back then?

Even as he asked the question in his mind, he knew the answer. He had been too wrapped up in his own feelings to see beyond them. For how much he had felt neglected, he had refused to look at Lily for who she was rather than the person he had built up in his mind. If he had done things differently, would they even be here at Harem Hotel?

A future wrote itself in the Master’s eye, a world where he had never let his feelings get in the way of their happiness. Maybe they got engaged, maybe with the support of Lily behind him, he never developed his phobia. Maybe they would have lived happily together. None of that mattered. None of these possibilities changed where they were now.

He quietly reached out and took Lily’s hand across the table, “Lily, I’m sorry…I’m sorry for everything. Thank you for listening to me, let’s enjoy this food together.”

Lily smiled and wiped her eyes, and together they began to enjoy the food the Fauns had prepared for them. Caleb didn’t know how her mind was justifying their existence, but at this point, he didn’t care. He was enjoying this slice of life that he had long since lost. Even if it was only temporary.

By the time they were finished their meal, the two were smiling and joking together. Caleb avoided talking about the events at the hotel and tried to stay completely on topics that he knew past Lily would be comfortable with. When desserts were collected, he crossed the table and helped her out of her seat. She blushed and smiled at him.

“Shall we retire to our room?” Her expression was a mix of invitation and embarrassment. Caleb leaned over her shoulder, took her hand, and raised it to his lips.

With a gentle kiss to the back of her hand, he smiled down at her, “That sounds wonderful.”

They made their way to the elevator. The moon shone down through the glass ceiling of the lobby, and the atmosphere was entrancing like a dream. So it was only appropriate that as they got in the elevator, it was time for someone to wake up.

The same bossa nova music played in the elevator, and Lily was clinging to Caleb’s arm when there was a sudden shift. Caleb watched as her face, which had been in anticipatory excitement, changed to apprehension and then thorough sadness. She let go of Caleb's arm and, while shaking her head, backed up into the side wall of the elevator.

Reaching out to her, Caleb kept his voice low, “Lily? Hey, is everything ok?”

Tears formed at her eyes again, and she clutched her head, “No, nothing is alright. Absolutely nothing is alright!” She reached out and batted his hand away, “How could you do that to me?”

Caleb started searching his mind, and the elevator rang and the doors opened, “I’m sorry, Lily, I need you to be more specific. We’ve been together all day.”

“How could you make me remember…what it was like to be together with you. It only makes it hurt more knowing what you did!” Her face was contorted into rage now. Her eyes glaring at Caleb with an intensity that made him feel he would be set ablaze.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out whatever magic had whammied the flower girl throughout most of the day had now worn off, and Caleb tried to keep his voice even, “Amy told me to treat you like normal and to go along with what you were doing. I’m sorry if that hurt you.”

“Of course it hurt!” Lily snapped and waved her arm erratically, “She was right. It was all my fault. Because I ignored you…you…it’s all my fault.” Lily crumpled in on herself and fell to her knees, lying on the floor of the elevator.

Caleb didn’t know who she was talking about but knelt down, unsure how to comfort her, “Hey no no, it’s not your fault…I made a choice, I didn’t talk with you. If anything what we discussed today proved it was my fault. I could have put in the effort…it’s not on you.”

Through sobs, Lily shook her head, “No, I took you for granted…I just thought you’d always be there and then…and then.”

The master sighed and rubbed Lily’s back, “Lil…forget it.”

The surprise of his statement caught Lily off guard enough to pause her tears as she stared at him, “What do you mean?”

Caleb kept his eyes on her and kept rubbing her back, “It doesn’t matter whose fault it was, though I am more than willing to take the blame. It doesn’t change what happened. I cheated, you got hurt, now we’re here.” He paused, “We've got enough on our plate without having to treat our past relationship like an unsolved **** case.”

Lily’s tone grew bitter, “So what, just get over it? Maybe you can act like nothing ever happened, but I can’t, Caleb! It hurts every time I look at you. Every time I see you with another woman. It hurts, ok?!”

Shaking his head, Caleb sat down next to Lily, “Lily, that’s not what I’m saying. You don’t think this doesn’t hurt me? I feel guilty every time I see you or Amy. If I find myself enjoying myself, I can’t do anything but think that I’m not allowed to be happy because of what I did. I’m not saying that we need to pretend our feelings don’t exist…I’m saying we need to start working through them…moving forward instead of looking back.”

Lily clambered up from her side and scooched away from Caleb, “You make it sound so simple…”

“Talk is cheap,” Caleb joked bitterly, “I don’t think either of us is getting over it quickly, but…I want to start trying. I don’t want to look at you and just think about my mistakes and not see the person you are now. We can’t go back to who we were…so a fresh start? No obligations, no strings, just…Hi, my name is Caleb. It’s nice to meet you.” he stuck out his hand.

Lily looked at him skeptically, and then sighed and took his hand, “Hi Caleb, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Lily.”

Caleb gave a smile, “Lily, that’s a pretty name. I hope we get along.”

“Watch it, Caleb, we aren’t chummy yet.” Lily took back her hand and frowned, “So what now then? We act as if we’re strangers?”

Caleb patted his knee, “No, we just…assume we don’t know the person the way we used to and go from there.”

Lily started to push herself up, “You know that’s pretty hard order considering you have an entire show invested in me jumping your bones.”

Caleb stood up next to her, “That’s true…but Lily, I promise you I am never going to push you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. I’m not your enemy here. I don’t want any of the women here to suffer.”

Frowning, Lily struggled internally, “Just…Caleb, know that not everyone here has good intentions.”

Exiting the elevator and looking back at Lily, Caleb nodded simply, “Maddy talked to me a little about that, I don’t want to think about any of the women here being twisted enough to harm others, but I promise I’ll keep an eye out, ok?”

Lily nodded and together the two went to the bedroom, outside of the short tour Caleb provided, it was quiet as the two began to change, Lily using the restroom to avoid wandering eyes and to ensure that Caleb didn’t see the belt she was wearing.

Once they had finished preparing for sleep, Caleb turned out the lights. It was an unspoken agreement that the day had left the two too tired and confused for anything else. But as they lay together in the same bed, a tension filled the air. It made Caleb restless, and he found his mind unable to sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he had been laying there when he heard from the opposite side of the bed, low and whispered.

“I still love you, you know?” Caleb turned towards the sound only to see Lily flushed with her hands clasped on her lips.

Caleb opened his mouth only to be cut off by the woman’s sharp words, “Shut up! Don’t say anything!” She turned around, burying her face in the pillows, leaving Caleb with those words still echoing through his head.

In the Brighella Suite’s Bathroom, Maya was sat on the edge of the tub looking at the disappearing card in her hand. It had been a gamble, it was possible the two weren’t even together at this point. But she was willing to take that bet

SABOTAGE! Cyrano: Make Target say one sentence of your choosing!

She got up from her seat and shook her head and called to Mira, “Mira? Can I have a hug? I’m not feeling so great.” And without another word joined her roommate in the main suite.