How I Met Your Mother

“Look Marshall, all I’m saying is that I’m pretty sure that Robin is The One.” said Ted, as he sank his cock deep into Lily’s throat. The three of them were at the MacLarens, discussing the perennial topic of Ted’s love life.

Marshall rolled his eyes. “Look Ted, she’s clearly into you, but you moved way too fast and scared her off!” he said, thrusting steadily into his fiance’s perfect asshole.

Lily, on her hands and knees under the table, tried to contribute to the conversation but her words were smothered by Ted’s pistoning cock.

“Exactly Lily, you’re so right.” said Marshall, giving her a slap on the ass. Ted always thought it was weird how Marshall could understand his fiance no matter how occupied her mouth was. Must be a long-term couple thing. “Ted, you hadn’t even stuck your cock in her before you’d asked her out, where are we, the middle ages? And you told her that you loved her after only one facefuck? Honestly buddy, you’re too much of a romantic for your own good.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” said Ted, “I know I should have used her a bit more first, really tested her holes before leaping to a commitment, but there’s something about Robin that makes me want to get down on one knee and propose right this second.”

A sudden slam interrupted the conversation as Barney pushed a naked blonde onto the table. In seconds, he was slamming into her, sending her tits jiggling in front of the men’s eyes. Ted groaned at the sight and grabbed Lily’s head under the table, thrusting his cock into her throat and making the redhead gag at the rough facefuck.

“Ted,” said Barney as he fucked the bimbo, “The only one who should be on her knees is Robin. I don’t know why you’re even searching for ‘The One’ when you could be spending your time fucking slutty little skanks like this bitch.”

Ted moaned again and **** Lily’s head down on his cock as he came, sending waves of sperm down her throat. Lily coughed as her throat was flooded, spunk shooting from her nose and down her face. Ted pulled her head off his shaft and slumped back in his seat.

“I know that Barney, I know that I should be spending my youth using as many cocksleeves as I can, but still, there’s something about that girl! I mean look at her!” he said, pointing to the bar TV, where Robin’s cum-covered face had just appeared on the screen.

“Robin Scherbatsky reporting live from a new exhibit that’s making waves in the New York art scene.” said Robin, her head gently rocking as she looked into camera. “Entitled ‘A Parallel Life’, it consists of a series of artworks depicting a world where sex takes place exclusively behind closed doors. With me now is the artist, Max Gellar.”

The camera pulled back to reveal the man fucking Robin, who nodded to the camera as he grabbed her hips and thrusting more rapidly into her cunt. He started gabbling on about his new art piece, but Ted only had eyes for Robin, staring lovingly at her messy face as she moaned in pleasure and attempted to get through her interview questions.

“Ted, Ted,” said Barney, snapping his fingers in his buddy’s face, “Stop staring at the slut on the TV and focus on the one in front of you. Mary here-”

“My name is Jasmine.” interrupted the blonde.

“Whatever,” said Barney, waving his hand dismissively. “Janine here still has two holes in need of filling, and I think she could do with a drink. Ted, take her ass, Marshall, get your dick out of your fiance and piss in her mouth would you?”

Ted and Marshall looked at each other before shrugging.

“I knew there was a reason we hang out with you,” said Marshall, pushing Lily off his dick and on to the dirty floor.