Hear out Aphrodite.

"I am ready to get my mind blown," you say. Now Grace is blowing on your hair. It's not doing that much for you, but you still appreciate the attention.

"Very well," says Aphrodite. "What you need to know is that normally, I'm not in charge of projects like these. Normally it's my Father who deals with planetary issues. I shall henceforth refer to him as 'The Patriarch'".

"Now, He and I don't often see eye to eye. He enjoys things such as warfare, famine, pestilence, ****, sacrifice, conflict, toil, suffering, denial, mindless devotion and obedience to His authority, fire and brimstone for those who defy His will, moral grandstanding, and for some reason, a hatred of mixed fabrics."

"Dad - I mean, The Patriarch - claims to enjoy seeing creatures overcome tremendous amounts of adversity and impose order amidst the chaos through sheer **** of will, thereby deriving meaning from their struggles. Personally, I just think He's a sadist."

"The only reason I could get Earth 2.0. off the ground in the first place, is because Earth was one of the rare planets that both of us enjoyed. Of course, He did so for all the wrong reasons, while I dug all the pleasurable shit that He finds 'degenerate'".

"So the Old Man - I mean... Father - gave me my own patch of solar system somewhere in a remote corner of the universe to reboot Earth in. By the way, it's much more complicated than that, but I've surmised you 21st century humans like computer jargon."

"Problem is, to continue the computer jargon, that the site where He let me reboot Earth doesn't have nearly have enough 'processing power' to run the original Earth in its full glory. Meaning I can only run Earth 2.0. at a fraction of the processing power of the original."

"I see," you say. "A bit like that Rick & Morty episode where Jerry listens to a radio channel called 'Human Music', gets a promotion and gets high-fives from everyone?"

"Honestly," Aphrodite says, "I have no fucking clue what you're talking about, but probably?"

"So what is the catch?" you ask.

"Well, after tinkering with it a bit, I found that I could make one simple change that drastically reduces energy consumption while keeping intact most of the beauty, splendor and detail of the old Earth."

"What is that?" you ask.

"It's hard to render 7 billion people if they all have conflicting agendas. But it's easier if I put one of them in charge."

You're dumbfounded once again.

"... you're not gonna make me President of the World, are you?"

Aphrodite laughs. "No, no, no such drudgery. No signing decrees and shaking hands with world leaders or whatever presidents do. Unless you want to, of course."

"Then what do you mean?" you ask.

"Well, lemme give you an example," Aphrodite says. "Have you ever seen Disney movies?"

"Uh... yes."

"Notice how those princesses seem to have a facility with animals? Like deers, frogs, birds and shit are magically drawn to them like moths to a flame?"

"Yes," you reply, not sure where she is going with this.

"Well, it's gonna be like that for you, except with every human being and living creature. No evil stepmom involved."

You're getting a huge headache now, and not even Grace's wandering hands can prevent it. "So... everyone will just love me? Is that it?"

"Again, only if you want to," Aphrodite says a bit cryptically. "Most people will be unaware of your existence, at least on a conscious level. But subconsciously, every human being and every living creature will be attuned to one purpose: to contribute to a world where you are happy."

"See, the problem with old Earth and its inhabitants was that they lacked a hardcoded purpose. For some there was no purpose, for others it was absurdism or existentialism, or some kind of religious faith or ideological principle, or mere instinct. But everything runs a lot smoother if I hardcode every living thing with the purpose of making The One happy. The One being - well you."

"Now, don't get me wrong. People will still retain their own hopes, dreams and personalities - mostly. But the underlying purpose of pleasing you will be etched in everyone's DNA. It'll happen at the molecular level, and it will make the whole thing much more harmonious."

You're silent as your mind is reeling with all the possibilities. You now know instinctively that Aphrodite is about to grant you a tremendous amount of power, and that you will have access to pleasure that makes Grace's advances seem like a granny's birthday kiss in comparison. But you still have one big question.

"Why me?"