Handjob from Jesus

Shakespeare climbed up the cross, being a DEX and INT based character, not STR. Jesus was straight WIS.

"Let me get that for you," Shakespeare said, prying his left hand off the cross.

"Oh yeah, remove thine nail, firstlike. I think I know what you're up to."

Shakespeare pulled out the nail, and shoved it up his ass. The rust and blood mixed with his fecal matter to make an incredible sensation.

Jesus' left hand now hung limp, with a hole in it. Shakespeare climbed to the top of the cross, and undid his breeches. Out flopped his semi-erect, 10-inch poet cock.

"As the messiah, I can say this: Never before has my father crafted such a perfect slice of meat. You'd better be kosher, because I'm about to swallow that hog."

Shakespeare grabbed Jesus' left hand hole. "Whoa, now, before we get ahead of ourselves, you'd better warm me up with your hand blood."

Jesus grinned. "Verily, bard."

Jesus laid his hand over the Bardcock, and started stroking. He had clearly done this before. The blood was mixing with the precum, which would probably have caused an infection if not for Jesus' divine immunity to all sexually related ailments.

Suddenly, Jesus moved his palm over the head of Shakespeare's cock, and pushed down. Shakespeare's cock had penetrated Jesus' hand hole.

Shakespeare moaned, "Oh, Jesus, a handpussy by any other name would feel as sweet!"

The crowd cheered.