Ha Ha, No

author note; an alternate route after a suggestion from Shade333

~Latest Gossip is that Old and Past-It Lara Croft wanted to show the world she was still around by getting club-goers in London to give her a pity gangfuck~

Miles shook his head as he turned of the radio. He used to think it was an honour to drive for Lady Croft. She'd been the Tomb Raider. Saved the World. But those days were long gone. He wasn't completely sure he believed the Celeb Gossip on the Radio, they'd been wrong before.

But not that often when it came to Lara.

When Lady Croft slid into the back and mumbled for him to drive her home, he could see the cum-stains, see the way she was wiggling in her seat. He sighed. He probably saw Lady Croft the least compared to the rest of the Croft Manor Staff. He took a turn to park the car.

"Miles? This isn't the right turn, why are we stopping? M-MILES?!" Her confusion and surprise stopped when he pulled her from the seat and threw her against a bin.

"Fucking hell! Lady Croft, what have you done to your cunt?" Lara blushed with shame, her poor pussy still hadn't closed from being used to hide that bloody Jade Statue. "How many men were still standing after you drained their balls with this arse?"

He'd seen the people coming and going. Some part of him had wanted to pretend there was still some scrap of goodness, of respectability in her. He was wrong and it was her fault.

Before she could say anything, he slapped her still exposed arse and she tripped on her own feet. Her legs swung out and she fell. Only to cry out in pain as she had inadvertently just landed cunt-first on a traffic cone. The orange plastic traffic tool met no resistance and simply entered her so deeply it's shape pushed out her tummy. Miles began laughing and decided he couldn't take her any further. He was going to leave her, take the case of money, and leave.

But first... While Lara struggled to get her legs under her and lift herself off of the cone, Miles grabbed her by the back of the head and started fucking her throat. Her lack of gag reflex, and the way her throat gripped his shaft made him wonder just how much this Brunette Brit "Noble" had whored herself out. Did she even know?

He pulled out his phone and started taking pictures, then pushed his cock back in to fuck her face again. Lara, too hazy from the humiliation and lack of air, didn't think on how much letting people have proof of her behaviour could hurt her. She sagged from lack of air and nearly passed out, sinking further down on the cone. Her groan of pain tickled Miles' cock just right and he poured a thick load of cum down his soon-to-be former employer's throat.

He stepped back, shook a few more drops of jizz on her face and took a few more pictures of her with the traffic cone still buried in her cunt and nut-butter leaking out of her well-used arse, before grabbing her hair and dragging her to the car to drop her on all fours.

Her sticky arsehole was lubricated with dozens of loads of cum. Miles thrust into her and each movement rocked the traffic for in her cunt. Lara moaned, her body grabbing the pleasure of sex to soften the humiliation. Still holding her braid, Miles raised as dropped her head, hanging it into the pavement when he wasn't hurling abusive condemnations of her and spitting on her slack, dumbstruck face. Despite how roughly it had been used already, Lara's ease was right enough and her sorry state arousing enough to give Miles one more hard orgasm and he pumped her guts with her more cum.

“Up you get slag, clean my cock with that fuckhole you call a mouth.” he said, any respect for his employer fucked away. Once she was done, he kicked her in the direction of the curb and let her crawl away while he put his cock away and returned to his car.

He drove away, a fancy car, a suitcase of money, and a great many pictures and videos of his former employer to share with the world.

Leaving the Countess of Abbingdon, Lady Lara Croft, struggling to push a traffic cone out of her cunt, to walk the rest of the way home with no money.