Good for some. Not great for others.

Wylde raised an eyebrow at you. "What do you mean, 'perfect'?"

"Well, what would you usually do if he comes riding in here on his wolf? I mean on a normal day. Be honest."

To her credit Wylde actually seemed to put some thought into her answer. "I guess would explain why I left, help him kill the human, probably let him kill you then ride back to the village for a screw."

"Exactly, that's what any normal mob would do and so with that you'd continue to be a mob with your current level for the rest of your days."

"Okay, smartass, so what should I be doing, then?"

"Do something different. Break your programming. You have to kill your boyfriend."

"WHAT?!" Wylde was appalled. "I know he'd respawn and all, but I can't kill him! Sure, he's a dick, no skill in bed, let's the chief use me for his pleasure, but he's a named mob! I'm not allowed to kill my named village members! I can only kill 'heroes'!"

The sounds were getting closer. You have to wrap this up.

"Time to make a decision, Wylde. Level like a player and reach unheard of power for a goblin by first killing this jerk, or help him kill Chastity and me, and live like you always do, as a named mob in a small quest village being killed by heroes."

Chastity shuffled on her feet nervously. "Are you sure we can trust...?"

"No. But if we want Wylde to join our party then it needs to be her decision."

You go to stand near Chastity and join her in watching Wylde biting her fingernails with an angsty look on her face, torn as to what to do. Before she could make a decision the bushes parted and three goblin wolf riders came into the clearing.

The obvious leader had a name hovering over his head - Yok. He was level 6, the other two unnamed riders were level four. You were also level 4 and the girls were level 5. This would be a hard battle. If Wylde was on your side, at least.

"What the fuck's goin' on here?" asked Yok, his beady eyes darting between the three of you. What did Wylde see in this jerk?

"Uh, you see..." started Wylde, clearly not made a decision yet.

"Whatever. Don't matter. Get on your mangy mutt and either assist us in killing off this human bitch and her pet goblin grunt, or fuck off back home and warm yourself up for me."

Wylde straightened her back as she made her decision. Your heart sank as she pointed her dagger towards you. Did you really trust the wrong goblin?

"This... 'goblin grunt' managed to give me more orgasms in one quickie than you ever did in all the times you flopped about on me. You, Yok, are a worthless piece of shit who deserves what I'm going to do to you."

Yok turned purple in rage. "I WILL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF THE VILLAGE FOR THIS!"

Wylde looked at you, and you could have sworn you saw her lip quirk in a little grin towards you. She fell into a combat stance. "Good. Let's do this."

Yok howled in fury and the three wolf riders pelted towards you, weapons drawn.

You had one final thought before pulling out the first of your potions: "I actually WANTED this?!"

You felt Chastity kiss the top of your head and you immediately felt both stronger and hornier. You need to make new pants if you were going to get this erect this often, this feels awkward.

You throw a potion at the three charging, but it goes slightly astray. The cloud of pale blue gas only catches one of them, and he immediately crashes to the ground. The goblin is groggy, but his wolf is snoring softly and bicycling its legs as it chased rabbits in its sleep. Yok charges at Wylde and you are sure he's going to hit with his polearm, but Wylde leaps to the side at the last second, slashing the wolf's leg as she does.

*5 HP*

Chastity swings at the other mounted rider, but swings too early and takes a spear to her shoulder. She cries out in pain, losing 10 HP.

Yok swings around, charging Wylde again. This time he clips her and she goes spinning, losing 8 HP as she does. Chastity gets a hit on the other mounted goblin, for 8 HP but take 5 of her own as the rider flies passed her again.

You rush up to the grounded goblin who is still quite groggy from the gas and fall. You can't help but ask, "Wanna see what a real player can do?" When he opened his mouth, probably to spit out an insult, you shove a fire potion in his mouth and give him an uppercut.

As far as uppercuts go, it wasn't the strongest that has ever been dealt. On the other hand most uppercuts don't take off the top of the opponents skull as the fire potion ignited, so you were happy enough.

* CRIT! 87 damage*

Note to self: be VERY careful not to drink one of those.

You look back at the others. Both sides were dealing damage, but not getting the upper hand. You think hard of some tactics to use, when suddenly it becomes obvious. The wolves are riding in set patterns, programmed into them. It's only with unique playstyles would you crack the stalemate. You moved to the side, preparing a potion. Save or suck tome, you think, throwing it so it would hit right where the wolf rider always turned. It hit, and the pink gas surrounded him. You hope this is a good idea. He charged at Chastity but soon dropped his weapon, opening his arms wide to take her in a hug. You were shocked when she dropped her own weapon, lifting the goblin from the wolf, and leaning in for a kiss. You must admit, you weren't expecting to see her fraternise with another goblin, at least not so soon, and you felt a pang of jealousy. She leant in, lips pursed, and as their lips came in contact there was a strong pink glow coming from the goblin to Chastity. The goblin shook and soon collapsed.

*CRIT! Succubus' kiss does 45 damage, max due to willing target.*

You turn to see Wylde on one knee, very wounded. Yok was turning for a final run, one you were sure would end her life. You look around, seeing her discarded spear on the ground. Could you throw it at Yok? It would never do enough damage. So you ran, picked it up, screamed "Wylde, catch!" and hurled it to her.

She looked up, and barely caught the spear. She spun, dug the butt end into the dirt and braced, not even trying to dodge at the tip of the spear sought out Yok and his wolf.

Wylde may have been too tired, but the tip was low, and missed Yok. The wolf, however, impaled itself deep onto the spear, stopping suddenly and causing Yok to fly over Wylde's head.

Yok struggled to stand, and in the meantime Chastity walked over and gave Wylde a deep kiss, much to your delight. You had no problem with THIS kiss, for some reason. Wylde is strengthened and healed by the kiss. You aren't sure if the butt grope was necessary, though.

She picked up Yok's polearm, and held it aloft, pausing as she growled, "I've changed my mind. After this I'm going to fuck both of you til we all scream."

With that she brought the blade down.