Fred, Daenerys, Farsel, Sara and Alice read Alide and Dahlia Review Dark Lord by Unknown7 part 2: The Reckoning

Once again, Fred, Daenerys, Farsel, Sara, Alice and King Marcus found themselves in what I guess is called the 'Breakroom'. To their surprise Sorvile and Hippolyta were also there.

"Dammit, what are they doing here?" asked Farsel, "the amazon queen shouldn't even be possible"

Farsel hit Sorvile and Hippolyta with a spell, knocking them both out.

"According to Unknown7, they don't talk about you much, Marcus" said Fred, "so you guard Sorvile and that fat inbred Amazon queen while we do this response"

READING IN PROGRESS

"Honestly, I've been **** lots of times before I met Fred" said Farsel, "believe me its not the worst thing that's happened. I still feel that Alide and Dahlia are trivialising my ****"

"Also, let me tell you a thing about dreams" said Fred, "they're not real. It doesn't just mean you can get away with **** someone. It means that someone isn't real so the **** itself isn't real. Its not like I put on the ring of Gyges and started **** people just because I thought I'd get away with it. The only way my actions would have been wrong would be if I **** Freddy Krueger. Actually, he murders children so that would still be okay"

"Alice and Dahlia also complain that you're too evil AND not evil enough" said Marcus.

"Okay, Farsel, you should start spelling Alide properly now that I'm here" said Alice.

"The point is that I'm a normal person" said Fred, "there is a limit to how evil the average person is going to be. If I start eating babies or whatever, I'm gonna lose audience sympathy. All the stuff I did so far can be justified by other people trying to harm me first and my belief this is a dream. If I **** Sara who did nothing to me, that would be going too far. It was a mistake for Unknown7 to write that alternate chapter"

"Dragon skin is also a lot tougher than human skin despite its appearance" said Daenerys.

"I do have to admit that things were a lot easier for us back then" said Alice.

"Also, I've never heard of those people that Alide and Dahlia talk about" said Fred, "the only people I've ever heard use the term 'incel' have been morbidly obese women mad that no man wants to stick his dick in her. This Elliot Rodger sounds like just an ordinary serial killer. Killers kill people. I don't even see how that's a feminist issue"

"Who's Dreg?" asked Daenerys.

"I have no idea" said Fred, "also, I never actually said that it made women bad. And false **** accusations are a serious issue. I don't care what you were created for, its still really pathetic. I gotta wonder if Alide and Dahlia have even left their tower. The fact that this tower is apparently their mother or father, depending on what gender the tower is, makes it look even more like they're living in their parent's basement"

"So, apparently Alide and Dahlia are no longer related" said Sara, "and now they're no longer having sex with each other"

"Okay, so now they're both 1000 year old virgins" said Fred, "I was a virgin at 18, that's not even something to do shamed of. Well, actually, I lost my virginity ear... They're not far enough into the story yet"

"Also, Fred does not shoot blanks" said Alice, "trust me on this"

"I don't see how Lindsey was even the villain of Hard Candy" said Fred.

"Would you believe they've still not gotten onto the actual reading yet" said Farsel, "I mean Lindsey and Susan only need a few lines before getting on with things"

"They also seem to miss the fact its a comedy" said Alice, "well, actually they mention it but complain about alignments that are not meant to be taken seriously. This is a very self-contradictory review"

"To be fair, Alide and Dahlia are not the first to question how I still think its a dream" said Fred, "actually, Farsel, what was your plan?"

"..."

"Farsel?"

"I didn't really have much of one" Farsel admitted.

"As for the mercenaries" said Fred, "not all mercenaries are Deathstroke. Not everyone can afford armour. Those people were amateurs. Also, Unknown7 has been hit in the cunt, she knows it hurts"

"But how can anyone be sure which hurts worse?" asked Daenerys, "has anyone been hit in both the cunt and balls before?"

"Maybe, I should start tit punching" said Fred.

"Fire magic does work that way" said Farsel, "you try creating a fire underwater"

"The funny thing is that I don't use the word 'cuck' that much" said Fred, "I'm not sure if I even used it before coming to Arizelle. I'm pretty sure having your partner watch you fuck someone else counts as cucking. Also, its cuckquean if its a woman"

"They do have a point about the naked women thing" said Alice.

"Also, I did try telling Sara I didn't kill the cows" said Farsel, "she just didn't believe me"

"At this point, I don't even care" said Sara.

"The story does move away from its Whore of the Dragon parody" said Fred, "Unknown7 had been experimenting with antithesis', still is"

"Sorvile was basically Farsel with a better army" said Sara, "Unknown7 was trying to do that thing with Dragon Ball where enemies start off incompetent before becoming more and more serious"

"If we compare Farsel to Pilaf, the Crimson Dominion would be the Red Ribbon Army" said Fred, "and trust me, the women being **** were hot. Nobody would **** them if they were overweight or covered in sores or boils. I don't even remember that illusion casting amazon's name"

"You remember that **** woman from when we responded to Lois and Blaze's review?" asked Alice.

"No" said Fred.

"These people also seem to think the Amazons are a race" said Alice, "also, Alide mentioned Amazons twice in that villain group"

"Also, what misogyny?" said Fred, "no idea who Carl Benjamin is either. The orcs themselves ended up being kinda pointless. Also, feminism has reached Poe's Law, they're not possible to strawman. Also, why do people that spend all day in a tower even care about those issues? It should be completely irrelevant to them. Its as stupid as Lois Lane hanging around a Shazam villain"

"I'm still a little mad at you for punching me in the cunt" said Sara.

"Yeah, sorry, I was outta line" said Fred, "I also still thought it was a dream"

"My farm didn't have horses" said Sara, "I understand Daenerys was naive. Fred probably did me a favour anyway. Pretty much all the good things he did was outta stupidity, at best, he's an idiot hero"

"Well, that about covers it"