Flash Forward to the Mission

Julie brought her shuttle down softly on one of a series of landing pads set up on the beach to receive Ambassadors and their retinue. Misogen III was a tropical planet with a warm climate that seemed to exist in a state of perpetual summer, which came as a relief to Julie as the dress uniform she now wore would provide very little in the way of protection from the elements. The Captain had laughed at her when she expressed confusion about how to wear it. When the Captain realized that she was being serious, she sighed heavily and explained how it was supposed to go on, and, to make a long story short, wearing this new "uniform" had required a trip to the medical bay to have her belly button pierced, something that Julie absolutely did not expect to have to do when she woke up this morning.

Julie sighed heavily as she powered down the engines and prepared to exit the shuttle. This would be her first time venturing planetside since she was assigned to the Black Talon, and it would have been bad enough if she'd had to go out there in her minimalist standard uniform... but she was now of the considered opinion that her dress uniform was even worse! She tried to recall the Captain's explanations as she'd walked her through the process of putting it on. "It's all very simple really. Those ringlets fasten themselves to your nipples, yes, exactly like that. And the other piece will hang from your navel, providing you with a small modesty screen for your-- yes, I know there's no fabric on it. It was my understanding that Earthlings associate shiny precious metals, especially gold, with prosperity and excellence, so I felt it was a fitting choice for your dress uniform, don't you agree?"

And of course she agreed. Julie had already learned that it was unwise to disagree with an enormous dragon creature, especially if that creature happened to also be your boss. Whatever her reservations, she had **** now but to grin and bare it.

As she exited the ship, Julie had to give her eyes a few moments to adjust to the brightness. The mid day suns were high in the sky, sea birds were calling in the distance and a gentle surf was lapping at the sands not far from where the landing pads were assembled. All around, the beach was alive with activity as dignitaries met and mingled in preparation for the big conference. To say that Julie felt more than a little bit self conscious walking into such a dignified crowd all but naked would be a tremendous understatement, but she never the less began to survey the beach in search of her contacts.

She spotted Ambassador Nard mingling with a small crowd of unfamiliar alien species, which was a relief, because in the rush to prepare herself for her mission, she hadn't managed to conjure up a picture of Lt. Pin-Chaa at all. The ambassador was fairly distinctive, however, a tall, pale blue skinned humanoid with pupiless yellow eyes and a large, bulbous cranium with a definitive cleft running straight up the middle. Unlike the members of her crew back on the Black Talon, he was fully clothed, wearing an expensive looking purple leotard with an ostentatious high collar and pointed shoulder pads. In fact, the more Julie looked around, it seemed like EVERYBODY here was fully dressed! Everywhere she looked she saw pants and shirts, gowns and robes, togas and tunics, military style uniforms of every kind and here she was wearing what basically amounted to strategically placed jewelry! Feeling more than a little bit foolish, Julie descended the landing ramp and made a beeline for Ambassador Nard, trying hard not to pay attention to how the other beings assembled were reacting to her, (though she could have SWORN she heard a few snickers!) When at last she came close enough to the Ambassador to present herself, Julie stood at attention and issued a crisp salute before identifying herself. "Ensign Julie Star of the Galactic Federation Star Ship the Bloody Claw, reporting for duty, sir!"

"At ease, Ensign." The Ambassador said in a mild tone. "It's a pleasure to meet you. You can relax a bit for the moment. In this phase of the game, it's all introductions and bland pleasantries. Just leave everything to me and Lt. Pin-Chaa. If anyone attempts to converse with you, we will intercept and deflect. Meaning no offense to you, Ensign, but I would rather not risk causing an intergalactic incident until I'm certain of your capabilities."

"No offense taken." Julie replied. "I'm sure I have much to learn. Where is Lt. Pin-Chaa, anyway? It was my understanding that he was already planetside...?"

"I am indeed, my dear!"

Julie looked around in confusion, unsure of where the voice had come from.

"Oh, what a lovely vision you are, all sweet innocence, down here my love, crawling about the sand beside your two elegant feet!"

Julie looked down and was shocked to see what to all the world would have looked like nothing more than an ordinary crab.

"Oh! Lt. Pin-Chaa? Is that you?"

"No one else, my lovely! My appearance, it upsets you somehow?" The crustacean replied.

"No, no! Not at all sir! It's just that, well, I thought you were just... a crab."

The Lieutenant laughed good naturedly. "Ahh yes, think nothing of it sweet creature! It is a common misconception held by those who have come late to the galactic game, but I am no more a crab than Ambassador Nard is a human!"

"Zoran forbid!" The Ambassador blurted out.

"You have heard of course of convergent evolution, most lovely creature?" The Lieutenant continued.

"Yes, of course!" Julie replied, remembering back to her xenobiology courses back at the academy.

"Aha! You see? As brilliant as she is beautiful! Certain evolutionary patterns repeat themselves in geographically, or even astronomically disparate locales because those are the patterns that are simply most suited for long term survival and proliferation, and this modest form you see before you is the product of one such evolutionary chain! No matter what corner of the Galaxy you go to, my love, if there are oceans and beaches, you will find crabs, though none, I must say, will be as charming as I!"

"Boy, this guy sure is laying it on thick..." Julie thought to herself. "Wait... is he coming on to me!?"

"Yes yes, some day I will tell you more about my methods of survival... and perhaps even more about proliferation... but for now come, let us mingle. I shall introduce you to some of our good friends here..."

"Oh, god!" Julie screamed internally. So this was how she was meant to spend her very first away mission? All but naked, snickered at by alien diplomats and now sexually harassed by a fucking crab!? Could this day get any worse?