First an Update on the episode

Character: Ms. Tishler is a minor character in the episode Nightmares - used at the suggestion of Hypno Thermia.

Buffy Gets Promoted

"Did you hear?" Xander heard one of the students behind him say. "Cordelia just had an accident during driver's ed and..." The wheels in Xander's head began to turn. If Cordelia had an accident she couldn't be a cheerleader. If Cordelia couldn't be a cheerleader they would need a replacement. The replacement would be the next alternate. Buffy was the next alternate. Therefore Buffy would become a cheerleader. Buffy was a virgin. You couldn't be a cheerleader and a virgin. Ergo, she would need to have sex.

"Eureka!" Xander yelled as he finished the line of thinking.

"Mr. Harris?" Ms. Tishler asked as he jumped out of his chair.

"I figured it out," he said as he bolted out of the room.

-

"Hey, Buff," Xander said as he tried to act as casual as possible while simultaneously bursting into the library at full speed.

"Hey, Xand, I take it you heard. Don't worry, Cordelia will be fine."

"What, oh, yeah. Of course. I didn't want to think she might have been heard. But..."

"You also realized I was going to be a cheerleader?"

"Yeah, congratulations, really proud of you and all your hard work. Oh, wait, just off the top of my head, wasn't there an issue..."

"My virginity? Yeah, that will have to be taken care..." she said and Xander was already getting ready to rip off his clothes, "tomorrow, when I'm officially made a cheerleader."

"Uh..." Xander droned as he tried to process it. "Tomorrow?"

"Of course, I still have to give them my acceptance. They cancelled practice today because of Cordelia's accident."

"Right, right, that is certainly more important..." Xander said trying to hide his disappointment. "So..."

"You can fuck me tomorrow. Right after practice, I'll even keep the uniform on. Ooh, I can even do a routine for you, sans panties of course."

"Oh, you, don't have to. Not that I'm turning it down. Just, you know, here for you as friend. Whatever you need."

Amy Gets Promoted

Buffy grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, "Hey, Xand. Ooh, you feel good."

"Hi, Buff," he said as he looked around the hall. "What's up?"

"Practice is over. You know what the means," she told him.

"Okay. Okay! Right, just a little earlier than I thought. Should we go..."

"Right here. I want your crammed in my tight, little pussy right now."

"Well we're in the middle of a hallway but...okay," Xander said eagerly.

"Buffy," Willow said as she came rushing up. "Xander, something's wrong with her. She's been acting crazy."

"Hey, don't be mean," Buffy proclaimed. "I'm just having fun."

"Buffy Summers," one of the cheerleaders said as she came up. "This is unacceptable behavior. You are off the team."

"Oh, no," Buffy said.

"What?" Xander protested. "No, no, no, you need to give her another chance."

The cheerleader turned her back on his protests and Willow took Buffy by the arm. "Come on, let's get you to Giles."

Xander stood dumbfounded about how quickly things had changed. He saw Amy being congratulated on being a cheerleader. For a moment he considered that Amy was a virgin as well, but he decided that helping Buffy was much more important.

Not that he wasn't going to check back in with Amy, but priorities.

-

Xander quietly moved through the lockers. He had seen Amy duck in here with Larry. It figured the big oaf would be making a play for her, but Xander hoped if he wasn't too late he could make his case. Except the conversation he was hearing was decidedly non-sexual in nature.

"I'm not a virgin," Amy told him.

"Bullshit," Larry responded.

"I want you to tell everyone I'm not a virgin."

"Woah, woah, I'm not going to lie about you being a virgin and a cheerleader. That's just...I can't..."

"Don't worry. Trust me, I'm not a virgin. There is no way I could lie about that. I just want you to lie about who I had sex with."

"Who?"

"You. I'm going to tell everyone I fucked you and you'll back that up."

"Why would I do that without the, you know, sex part?"

"Because I know your secret. You keep mine, I'll keep yours."

There was a long pause before Xander heard Larry speak again, "I'm guessing the guy you did it with was older and that is why you don't want to talk about it."

"You could say that."

"Fine, you got a deal."

Xander slunk away before they found him. Who in the world could Amy have had sex with. What was Larry's secret? Well, he didn't have time to worry about that now. If sex was off the table he had more important things to worry about.