Equipment inspection

"What is it, boss?" you ask enthusiastically, ready to tell her anything that may save your job. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know," you add.

Your boss raises a finger and opens her mouth, but then seemingly stops herself. Finally, she says, "Yes. Well, Doe was just telling me she is aware you have some equipment that is a little different than the majority of our employees."

You think for a minute, and then your positive feelings flatten back to normal. "Yes; I'm afraid that's true, boss," you tell her. "I do sort of keep an eye out for updates for the programs I use here. I tend to check about once a month, downloading and installing any I find available."

She pauses a few more seconds, and then says, "Yes. Well, that's not actually a violation of any rules we have on the books here. Besides, what Doe told me about was not anything involving appliances or electronics." She then hesitates, before adding, "At least... I don't think so."

Now it's your turn to be silent. "Well, I don't know what it could be, then," you say, "but I'll discuss it if I figure it out; I'm an open book."

"Open books are all well and good," the boss says immediately, seemingly growing angry, "but how about opening those pants?"