Elijah (my EX from High School)

Heather cant speak and just opens the door stepping to the side. My laughter fades and smile dropping to a confused, then neutral, then shocked expression. I stand up facing him. Elijah stands in the doorway his piercing eyes meeting mine with an intensity that sends a jolt through my chest. The silence stretches between us for what feels like an eternity, broken only by a quiet rustle as my bridesmaids shuffle in their seats uncomfortably. His lips part slightly, as if searching for the right words, but none come immediately.

My mind races with questions. 'What could possibly bring him here today, of all days?' The last time I saw him was the night before he left for college. That night he had broken both my heart and forever altered my view on men, and on love...until I met Alex at least. My mind flashes to when we met.

I was was going into my Junior year he his senior when we met that summer. I was at the lake with Heather and one of our friends, when I saw Elijah walking along the sand. His dark black skin and rippling muscles even at just 18, had all the girls and even older women checking him out. He swaggered over to us confidently, singling me out and speaking to me like we were the only people on the planet. And that's what it felt like all summer and even as we started school for the year. For most of the time we dated we didn't have sex. Not that we didn't do other things. He would drive me home from school and if my parents were out he would come in, or we would fool around in his car somewhere in town.

We hadn't done more than dry humping with only underwear on and oral sex. Not that he didn't try but he was always a gentleman when I told him I'm not ready. While I wanted too I was a bit scared of getting pregnant so young, And there was the other thing... He had the biggest dick I had ever seen. Impossible to fit more than a third in my mouth, and so thick my hands didn't close around his girth. To be fair at that point I had only seen porn but still he was...scary big.

Of course I heard the rumors the other girls spread. How he fucked three cheerleaders after homecoming. How he had an older woman across town that would sometimes call him when her husband was out of town. How he fucked just about every girl in his grade and even 2 of the teachers. The rumors hurt Heather told me not to worry about it; but once its in your mind it kind of lives there, dormant most times but very active other times.

The night of our winter formal we had a great time and I told him I have a surprise for him. Heather had stolen her mothers credit card and reserved a hotel for me and Elijah. When I drove us there he was all smiles, even all the way up to the room. I let him take off my dress his hands and mouth all over my body. I took off his suit with a delicate but deliberate purpose. Pulling him into a kiss as I fall back on the bed, Lifting my hips letting him take off my delicate black lace thong. I remember how eagerly he brought me to orgasm with his skilled tongue. How he moved between my spread legs whispering how much he loves me. I let him have my virginity that night my most precious gift I had to give, I gave to him happily.

That first time I didn't orgasm he was so big it hurt a lot, but so gentle it still felt so good. Afterwards I cried, my emotions getting the best of me. He held me until I could speak again, I apologized and just told him how special that was and how much I loved him, he kissed me and returned my affection. We fell asleep naked in the hotel bed embracing each other as lovers do. I may not have orgasmed my first time but the next morning we made love again and I came so hard my legs and the arch of my feet cramped.

If we were inseparable before that night now it would take a swat team to separate us. We went everywhere together and had sex at least twice a day. Even though he would wear a condom or pull out we had a few close calls. After our third pregnancy scare, I finally told my mom id been having sex. The next day I had a prescription for birth control and despite the doctor warning we should use condoms still, A week later he was cumming inside me bare. I discovered a serious kink that day because when he came inside me, Despite just having two orgasms I came a third time when I felt him fill me.

The rumors changed after that night from how he's fucking every girl he can, to he with no explanation broke it off. How he only cares about one girl...me. Walking through the halls arm in arm or making out in the hallway I could feel every girl walking by look at him then at me probably wishing they were me in that moment.

The night we broke up I could feel it coming. Not that our relationship had changed but as soon as Id heard he got into college across the country I knew. We talked for hours that night, I cried and despite his bravado I could tell he was hurting. It was mutual and we promised to keep in contact a false promise built on hopes and dreams. We had sex one last time that night before he dropped me off at home. I cried myself to sleep that night and many nights after.

In the days that followed I learned first hand about true heartbreak. Heartbreak isn't loud, its the silence that follows the last word. Its the ache that wakes you up before your alarm, Checking your phone even though you know they cant text you either as its too painful. Its the way the world keeps moving on like nothing has changed, Except everything has. Your body forgets to breathe correctly. Your mind replaying every smile, every promise, Until even the good memories hurt too much. It feels like drowning with your eyes open, You can see the surface, the light, the life you had together... but you cant reach it.

Just like heartbreak healing isn't gentle. Its raw, angry, and lonely even surrounded by others. You tear out pieces of them they cant be in anymore in anger. You cry as you say to your best friend how much you hate them, Even if you both know its not true. Healing doesn't happen all at once. Like a cobblestone road through a thick wood, It comes in small; uneven moments. The first morning you wake up and don't think about them. The first song you can listen to without crying. The first time someone makes you truly laugh again. And then one day the pain is still there but softer, like an old scar you've learned to live with, but never touch.

Now, years later, he appears out of nowhere, looking grown up, more confident and as dangerous than ever.