Doing fine.

My mind was all over the place for the rest of the next period. Of course it was impossible to get those images out of my head. At school. Three girls. At the same time. It was like they were checking boxes off my list. Would anything happen during the second recess? Should I approach them this time? I knew already that running away was a bad idea, but… should I wait for them or go to them? Oh, but what if they had other plans for second recess?

“Hey, are you paying attention?” the teacher yelled.

I flinched and straightened my back, only to realize it wasn’t me he was yelling at.

“Ms. West, would you like to come up to the board and answer the question?”

“Not really,” Sarah answered, twirling her hair with her finger.

“Then I suggest you pay attention. This might be a private school, but money can’t buy your grades. If I have to fail you, I will, so start paying attention!”

Mr. Ortiz went on to give the whole class a lecture on the importance of responsibility, how we were seniors and we’d be soon going off to college, where we’d be responsible for ourselves and all that. It wasn’t his first time giving that speech and I knew it wouldn’t be the last, either. Most of the class tried as they could to hide their exasperation.

He was in the middle of his speech when we all saw Grace raising her hand.

“Um… Yes, Ms. Valentine?” Mr. Ortiz asked.

“I can solve the problem on the board,” she said. “Should I?”

“It’s difficult, but let’s see you try.” Grace went up to the board and solved the problem in 30 seconds. The teacher checked it and whistled his surprise. “Very good, Ms. Valentine. You have a bright future ahead of you if you keep this up!”

Mr. Ortiz continued with class as normal while Grace went back to her seat. He’d already forgotten about his lecture about responsibility. Grace shot me a subtle wink before she sat down, and that also set my heart at top speeds.

The bell rang an hour later and we were up for second recess. I had been preparing myself for it. I would stand up and walk up to the girls. They sat one in front of the other by the windows overlooking the main gate, so going up to one was going up to the three of them. I wanted to do it. I had made up my mind. But when the bell rang, my legs froze. I couldn’t stand up, despite wanting to.

“Oliver,” I heard Sarah speak my name. I turned to her and saw her walking up to me with Grace and Mila. “Wanna go back to you-know-where?” she asked, grinning mischievously yet speaking in a very low voice.

Seeing her there, having them all up close gave me a small sense of security. The crippling uncertainty I felt with everyone else wasn’t there. Not fully. I felt a little safer than I did with anyone else, anyway. No, that was wrong. I didn’t feel much uncertainty with Thomas, either.

I nodded in response to Sarah’s question and stood up from my seat. Those that still remained in the classroom gave us all stunned looks, but I was the only one feeling any pressure from them.

“Aw, man…” Mila groaned. We were already out of the classroom and on our way to the old music room. “Sorry, Oliver. They’re gonna start talking about us.”

“It’s like they have nothing better to do,” Sarah nodded. “Fucking hate people spreading around stupid rumors.”

“I bet we’ll hear all sorts of things but the truth,” Grace lamented, shaking her head. “Should we just make out in public and shut them up?”

“Idiot, that’ll only give Oliver more trouble,” Mila said. “He’s already hanging out with us troublemakers.”

“Let them say whatever they want,” Sarah shrugged. “Not like they haven’t been saying things about us for years.”

“…” They all seemed okay with whatever rumors would spread about us, and I wasn’t surprised. It was I who was worried about what people might start saying about me. I didn’t want people getting some weird image of me without even knowing me. It was one of the reasons I tried as hard as I could to not stand out. But at the same time, if I had to choose between maintaining my low profile and hanging out with Sarah, Grace and Mila, then my choice was easy.

I took out my phone and started typing a message as we walked.

‘I think I’m doing fine.’ I sent that message to Thomas. Felt like I owed him to at least keep him informed. He quickly sent a thumbs up sticker in response.