Doesn't Matter cuz I am not listening

"You can't be serious?" I screamed. "Why the fuck do we care about how to lose!"

"I must admit," Chloe said. "I am a bit surprised too, but I'll bite."

"Fuck all of you," I shouted and I got up and slammed the door before they could say another word. I had no desire to listen to whatever bullshit that was going to be.

I began walking aimlessly around campus. I wanted to say Kat and Clara and all the losers if I could, but seems the winners are all fucked beyond belief. Chloe in particular is the worst. Bringing my parents to watch me pretend to be a lesbian against my will. Even Samuel wasn't planning to be that much of a dick about it. And his dickness was off the scales already so that meant something.

I pressed my hand against my forehead and felt the engagement ring touching me. I wanted to puke. A constantly reminder of this twisted game and how I had to comply or I would be overwhelmed by magical emotions. But his victory of making me wear this ring was a short one. When I win, I will make him eat it.

Looking around I realized I saw a familiar face. Was that Lisa? Winner number 8. The most recent winner. She had only won three months ago. Maybe she was less crazy and be more willing to offer advice or maybe we could strategize together how to take him down. I noticed she made her way into the library. I followed suit and found her in a corner near the back reading quietly.

How to start this conversation? I wasn't good at this kind of bullshit. Oh well, better to just do it.

"Hi, this might sound strange but I was wondering if we could talk?" I asked.

"How curious," she said, her face displaying no sense of emotion. "Do tell, why would it be strange for you to wish to speak with me?"

"Well, I mean we have never met before," I said. "And what I am about to say is kind of crazy."

She lifted her hand to her lips and let out a small chuckle. Almost like a fake laugh but given her previous lack of facial expression, maybe this was how deep her laughter got.

"I see, so it would seem you are indeed an idiot," she said.

"What was that?" I said raising my fist at an angle. I quickly noticed how loud I was and tried to quiet down before someone came over here. "You don't even know me."

"I beg to differ. You are currently engaged in the game. You recognize me, meaning you have the year book. You came to consult me but your acting as if I wouldn't understand why your bugging me. Your attitude reflects that you simply spotted me and gave no thought of how to approach me or what kind of strategy to utilize in your plea to me. Have I missed any points?" she asked, her eyes just as blank as before.

I gritted my teeth in frustration. There went my theory about her being the most sane one of the group.

"I'll accept that as a no. Thus, I conclude, you are in fact and idiot," she said as she turned back to her book.

"Hey don't dismiss me like that," I said moving her book down.

She sighed. "What can I help you with?"

"Your help for one! You have been through this. What he is doing is fucked up. Don't you want to stop him?" I asked. I looked and I saw it. Her finger flinched, maybe it was subtle but I think it was a tell. I pressed on. "Let me try, you act all cool and logical. Then you know letting him hurt people isn't logical! You can't be okay with it!"

She looked down. "You bring up a valid point. If you will. Indulge me," she said as she took out a mini chess set.

I recognized it. The same set Samuel offered me. "You accepted his gift?" I asked.

She titled her head. "Yes, it was a practical choice, even if I dislike him, the set is still nice." She paused as she finished setting up the board. "You can be white."

I moved a pawn. She instantly moved the one in front of mine. The game went slowly at first, but by about turn ten I just began losing piece after piece with each turn. I lost.

"A piece of advice," she said picking up my bishop. "You need to take care of your bishop, both in and out of the game."

Bishop? "Samuel compared Kat to a bishop. He told you about that? This is meant to be your cryptic sense of advice?" I asked.

"You lost. Aren't I being generous?" she asked.

"No! That isn't how ethics work. Winning chess doesn't make me right. Losing it doesn't make me wrong. Did Samuel fuck you up so badly you don't know the difference," I asked.

She placed her hands on her head. "Maybe? I honestly don't know. I get ethics are seemingly more emotionally based. They are confusing. I don't feel any anger or any sense of negativity with Samuel."

"It's the book. He is using it to control you," I said.

"No, he removed all my commands when I won," she said confidently.

"How do you know he didn't just make you believe he did?" I asked. Her finger again. A flinch! "We could find the real book and burn it! Ending this madness."

"No," she said. "Even if I accept your theory, it is one of hopelessness. If Samuel is tricking winners into thinking they are free then I am not free and have no way to become free."

"What do you mean, the books!" I said.

"For one, books. He has more than one, for two. If Samuel is lying about a fundamental aspect to his rules, such as freeing us, then it is safe to assume all the rules he has stated are indeed false. If that were the case, the books may not even exist and may be a red herring. Your theory would mean the logical conclusion for Samuel is to only use books as a way to see who tries to resist him."

"Okay, let's assume he is telling the truth. Don't you want to help prevent new victims. Don't you want to stop him?"