Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

“I mean…” Adam shrugged, taking a chug from his glass of ale, “… it doesn’t have epic sword fights, menacing bad guys, or a cliffhanger.”

“Hey, that’s what I signed up for!” Cirasiros, snorted jokingly.

“Yeah, yeah, but like…” He leaned in, “… Whatcha know ‘bout love, man.”

“I… have three wives and seven kids back home.” The centaur cocked his head, staring at the New Worlder quizzically, “Why?”

“Y’see, back in New World, we don’t have none o’ that. Multiple wives? That’s illegal, y’know.” Adam lifted the mug to his lips, taking a sip. A few monster girls chuckled in disbelief, but Cirasiros laughed heartily, patting the New Worlder on the shoulder.

“Good joke, friend!”

He set the mug down, “… And men have to fight tooth an’ nail to get laid.”

Another round of laughter! This time the monster girls joined in on the fun.

“You should be a comedian, you know that?” The centaur bellowed, but Mr. Hudson offered a small, polite smile. Saying nothing.

“...”

A long silence drew out from the crowd.

“You’re serious.” Cirasiros finally broke the uncomfortable tension in the air.

“As a heart attack.” Adam took another sip, reclining back into the mimic acting as a cushy bench.

“Huh.”

“You see, I didn’t know fallin’ in love was so easy and natural in Old World. I came in, bringin’ in my ‘game’ I knew back home, but none of that mattered when I met her…”

…

The streets were in chaos, to say the least.

The Day of Freedom, a nationwide holiday celebrating Mermouthia’s independence over the Allied Kingdoms some 300 years ago, was in full swing. Men, women, monsters, waved their flags enthusiastically as fireworks lit up the sky. It was a day of unbridled patriotism: Most people wore the color representing Mermouthia’s mono-colored flag, a few in cartoonish mascots, but best of all - everyone was having a grand ‘ol time.

Adam, and an ogre - the first among his harem - named Ghorza he met a few months earlier venturing into the big seaside city, drunk hearty glasses of ale, idly relaxing on a bench overlooking the joyous display.

“SOOOO LOUD…” Ghorza remarked, burying her face into her lover’s shoulder. The fireworks, the thousands of raunchy denizens in the streets, it was far too much for the ogre’s senses to take in.

“I know, sweetie, I know.” Adam chuckled to himself, patting her reassuringly on the shoulder. He paused. “Why don’t you go inside? I’ll catch up with ya in a few.”

The ogre slowly nodded, heading inside their house before disappearing entirely.

“Oh yeah!” Adam yelled, enough for the ogre to hear inside, “I need to grab something in town real fast! I think we’re supposed to bring…”

“RAINBOW KRAKROD!” The ogre yelled from inside the house.

“Yeah, that! I’ll return in a few!” He sat up from his chair, giving Ghorza a kiss on the lips before exiting their house.

Ho boy, heading out into a loud, cramped festival. Can’t wait to inch past crazed partygoers shoulder-to-shoulder.

A few minutes later, Adam was in the midst of it.

Drunk college aged kids, spilling beer all over the place. A shitfaced mascot tumbles next to the New Worlder. He could hear someone hurl inside, creating a disgusting mess for the poor sod trapped within the mascot. A few sexy monster girls, two mouse (mice?) girls, suggestively sway their tails past Adam. One of them winks flirtatiously before disappearing into the crowd.

He was steps away from Marcella’s Grocery, before he spotted the most beautiful creature he set his eyes upon. At first, Adam mistook her as a run-of-the-mill human, before he saw two, twin pointed ears protruding out of her long, blonde locks: An elf.

She was tall and slim, with long, wavy, blonde hair and the most exquisite face he had ever seen. Her radiant, steel-blue eyes looked out over a delicate button nose that was accentuated by the most breathtaking set of lovely soft cheeks he had ever set eyes on. She was adorned in an elegant sundress which hung just above her knees. Like most folks, her dress sported the mono-color flag of Mermouthia with a little flag itself pinned on her right strap.

She bent over, fetching a dark, syrupy colored liquid from a well. Ah yes, he heard the city replaced Downtown Mermouthia’s well water with pure, unadulterated booze. Free for all in anticipation for the weekend festivities.

But that didn’t matter.

For a moment, Adam was dumbstruck. He couldn’t, for the life of him, think of a response that wouldn’t come across as douchey or lame, but god damn, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity.

He felt a little nervous, as his legs moved right... and the left, toward the cute elf in the sundress…