Did you really think their wedding night would be anything other than strange?

He got his tie off and shrugged his shoulders. "Finally I can get this fucking monkey suit off of me."

She smiled, laying on the bed in her wedding gown. She was watching his back intently. "I think you look tasty."

He smiled as he turned around, already unbuttoning his shirt. "First sex as a married couple...how do you feel?"

"Like I can now just lay here like a boring stone instead of trying so hard to please you. I've done my job of tricking you into marrying me, so here we are." She laid on her back and threw her legs up in the air. "Nothing but missionary from here until eternity."

He smiled and rolled his eyes. She caught him and dropped her legs. "Rude. Don't you roll your eyes at your wife, you ding dong."

"Yes, dear." He threw his shirt off and gave her a once-over with his eyes. "Now are you just going to sit there in that dress, or am I going to have to rip that fucking thing off of you?"

She licked her lips. "I don't know, hubby. Why don't you get on the bed and try?"

Before they could get any farther -- they heard a knock on their door.

Tyler raised an inquisitive eyebrow -- they had the penthouse suite. Who would bother people who were clearly married and about to bang?

He peered into the eyehole and saw...