Clarity in the Cool Night Air

Ava loved running. Some people listened to music. Some people meditated. Some people journaled.

Ava ran.

The steady rhythm of her feet against the pavement always seemed to untangle whatever knots had built up in her head. Problems felt smaller. Decisions felt clearer. Even when nothing actually changed, she usually felt better afterward. That was something she got from her mother.

Growing up, running had been their thing.Saturday morning jogs. Charity races. Training schedules taped to the fridge.

When Ava turned sixteen, they'd even run a half marathon together. She still remembered crossing the finish line beside her mom, both of them sweaty, exhausted, and grinning like idiots. The memory made her smile as she rounded a corner.

Cool evening air brushed against her skin.

Eighteen.

God.

She was eighteen. An actual adult. How had that happened? One minute she'd been playing tag at recess and arguing about which Pokémon was the strongest. The next minute she was filing college applications, voting, and apparently becoming responsible for her own life.

Nobody warned you how weird it felt. Adults always acted like adulthood was something you gradually grew into. Like one day you woke up and magically knew what you were doing. That seemed wildly inaccurate.

Ava still felt sixteen. Honestly, sometimes she still felt twelve. The only difference was that people expected more from her now.

Another corner. Another stretch of quiet sidewalk.

Not that being ready really mattered. If there was one lesson her mother had spent eighteen years teaching her, it was that life didn't care whether you felt prepared. Things happened.Then you dealt with them. Simple as that.

When Dad came out of the closet, Mom dealt with it. Not happily. Not gracefully. Definitely not immediately. But she'd dealt with it. The marriage ended. Life changed. Everything got messy. And then Mom had kept going.

Career.

Bills.

Parenting.

Life.

Ava had always admired that.

Jessica Johnson wasn't perfect. Nobody was. But she was strong. Strong enough to rebuild an entire life after having it fall apart. Strong enough to raise a daughter mostly on her own. Strong enough to keep showing up every day. If Ava turned into half the woman her mother was, she'd consider herself successful.

That thought brought her back to Roy. Specifically, her mother's apparent inability to find a better boyfriend.

Ava almost laughed. No offence to Roy.

Okay.

Maybe a little offence.

The guy seemed nice enough. Polite. Friendly. A little awkward. First impressions were hard to get a full read on a person, but seriously? Her mother could stop traffic if she wanted to. Jessica Johnson was gorgeous. Professionally-done hair. Perfect makeup. Great clothes. Smart. Successful.

And somehow she'd ended up dating Roy.

Short. Overweight. Receding hairline. The whole thing felt bizarre. Not bad, exactly. Just surprising. Very surprising.

Ava licked her lips absently. A strange familiar taste lingered there. What was that?

For some reason her thoughts drifted to a date with Ricky a few weeks earlier behind the movie theatre, the one where she'd shown him how far she was willing to go to give him a good time.

Weird.

Maybe it was because she'd been thinking about relationships. That made sense. Unlike Roy, Ricky was objectively good-looking.

Abs.

Hair.

Jawline.

The complete package.

Ava wasn't blind. She could appreciate eye candy when she saw it. Of course, being attractive and being right for someone weren't necessarily the same thing. Her mother had spent years trying to explain that.

"You'll understand when you're older."

Parents loved saying that. The annoying thing was that sometimes they were right.

Maybe that was what was happening with Roy. Maybe there was something there Ava wasn't seeing. Something beyond appearances. Something adults valued. Stability. Dependability. Experience. Whatever. Maybe her mother saw something amazing in him. Maybe he made her laugh. Maybe he made her feel safe. Maybe he treated her the way she deserved to be treated.

If that was true, then good for them. Ava genuinely meant that. Her mother deserved happiness. God knew she'd earned it.

Another intersection approached. Ava checked for traffic before crossing. The neighbourhood had grown quieter as the evening wore on. Porch lights glowed warmly. A television flickered behind somebody's curtains. Somewhere nearby, a sprinkler clicked methodically across a lawn.

Peaceful.

Comfortable.

Home.

The thought of Roy sticking around surfaced What if he did? What if this wasn't some temporary thing? What if six months from now he was still around? A year? Longer? The possibility felt strange. Was she ready for a stepdad? Probably not.

Then again, she wasn't sure anybody was ever ready for a stepdad. Especially one who looked like Roy.

A laugh escaped her.

Sorry, Roy.

Nothing personal.

She'd give him a fair chance. For her mother's sake, if nothing else. Besides, being eighteen came with advantages. If things ever became weird, Ava could always move out. That was a very adult solution.

Probably.

Maybe.

Honestly, adulthood seemed mostly like confidently guessing.

The cool air felt nice against her skin as she picked up her pace. She wasn't planning on staying out much longer. Running at night never felt quite as comfortable as running during the day. Cooler, yes, but she found herself more aware of her surroundings, wondering if she was safe. A few more minutes. Then home.

Hopefully her mother and Roy weren't making out when she got back. The thought made her wrinkle her nose.

Gross.

Seriously gross.

She couldn't imagine kissing a guy like that. Or dating one. Or, like, being intimate.

No thank you.

But her mother was entitled to her own tastes. Even if those tastes were baffling.

Ava licked her lips again, still trying to place that faint familiar flavour lingering there.

No luck.

Shrugging it off, she accelerated down the sidewalk. Staying fit mattered. Sure, she was with Ricky now. At least for the moment. But eventually she'd meet somebody else. Somebody amazing. Somebody perfect. And when that happened, Ava intended to be ready.

Because if she let herself go, who knew? She might end up with a guy like Roy.