Chapter 3: Consequences

"Haeun..." I stammered.

"What is this, Joonie? I saw a notification on your phone from a "Jae", asking about getting his money back since you haven't been 'delivering'? I thought you might have been selling **** or something, so I unlocked the phone..." She trailed off, her fingers scrolling through the chat.

_FUCK! _I cursed in my head. Of course she knew my password. It's her birthday! Stupid, stupid, stupid...

"Why are my pictures and videos on this chat?!? What the hell, Minjae? You told him? You showed him? AFTER I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHARE THESE WITH ANYONE? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?" Her confusion was fully gone now, and her eyes were full of rage. She was shouting, something I had never witnessed in all our years together.

"I can explain, Haeun! I'm sorry, I was stupid!" I begged, but the anger in her expression did not abate.

She threw my phone onto the couch with a thud.

"What can you say now that will make this okay? You broke my trust, Minjae, you swore to keep this private! I could be ruined if this gets out!"

"He doesn't know your identity! I made sure that any trace that could lead back to you was gone before I sent them! Please, trust me on that!" I pleaded.

"Trust you?! I thought I could! How do you expect me to believe that?" she said, her eyes brimming with tears. "Why would you even do this? To fulfil your sick fantasy? I thought we talked about this! Was it still not enough, and you have to sell me to others without my consent? I thought you love me!" Her voice cracked as she struggled to get her words out.

"I do love you Haeun! Please, I had stopped doing it, that's why he's messaging about the money! After I came to terms with myself, and realised how much you meant to me, I swore to end it all and be a better man! It was a moment of weakness, and I regretted it ever since!"

"A moment of weakness? And you couldn't have talked to me about it instead of just doing it?" She shook her head. "No, this isn't about weakness. This was a calculated choice, one that you made again when you chose to hide this behind my back."

I felt desperation and indignation well up within me. "I'm sorry, but you started it all when you fucked Jihoon the moment you left me for the competition. Wasn't that a moment of weakness too? One that we managed to talk through?"

I realised how poor my words were the moment they left my mouth.

Haeun's eyes widened, her mouth dropping open in shock and anger. "That was a mistake, yes, but I admitted to it, and offered to take responsibility afterwards. I knew I was dirty, and so I wanted to end things before I hurt you even more. That doesn't give you the right to violate me like this! Were you ever going to tell me? Don't you see this isn't even about your sexual fantasies, but just simple fucking respect for me as your girlfriend, as a fucking person?"

She took a step towards me, her body shaking with rage. But then she deflated, and looked at me with only sadness left in her eyes. "I can't be with you right now. This is too much. I'm going back to the dorm."

"No! Haeun, please!" I pleaded. "Don't leave, we can work this out!" But she was already walking out of the door, slamming it shut behind her.

I stood there alone, feeling lost and hopeless, the weight of my mistake hanging over me like a dark cloud. I stumbled after her, desperately searching for something to say, something that might fix this.

But nothing came.

I followed her as she ran out onto the main street, hailing a cab passing by. I should have tried to stop it, to buy me a little more time, but the driver must have assumed I was a deranged stalker chasing after her as he locked the doors and sped off immediately after she got in.

I don't know how long I stood there, tears flowing down my cheeks, my heart shattered, watching as the tail lights of the cab grew fainter. The air felt heavy with the scent of the rain from last night and the sounds of cars whizzing by on the road. I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears, like the steady beating of a drum. I was numb, as if I was disconnected from everything around me.

I finally gave up, returning to my room with nothing but my regret. I picked up my phone, opening up our chat, only to find she had already blocked me, our shared memories locked away behind an error message.

I'd ruined everything, and it was all my fault. My selfishness and perversion had driven away the most important person in my life.