Buffy

C’mon. It’s got to be Buffy, right? A pretty, little blonde spinner with stamina to go for hours on end. This is a no-brainer.

And with a simple thought, I’m now in front of the Summers household. I knock on the door. It opens and reveals Dawn, Buffy’s younger sister. “How can I help you?” she asks.

“Hi, I’m John. I’m here for...” oh who am I kidding, let’s not beat around the bush here, “my fuck session with Buffy.”

Dawn just accepts what I said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Oh, OK.” She turns to the stairs and yells, “Buffy! John is here to fuck your brains out!” I didn’t tell her to say that, so you can imagine my surprise that those were the words she decided to use. But I love it. “Coming!”

“You will be,” I let slip. Dawn looks at me. “Did I say that out loud?” She nods her head and says, “But don’t worry, I won’t tell.” Buffy soon enters my line of sight and my jaw drops. I never saw her wear anything like that when the show was going on.

“I was thinking, maybe tonight you can be the vampire hunter and I’m the sexy vampire who’s willing to do anything to stay alive,” she suggests. “Do you really think it’s a good idea to talk that way with Dawn here?” I ask.

Buffy waves off my concern. “She knows all about sex. It’s fine. So, what do you say, you ready to put your ‘stake’ in this vampire?”

I nod, vigorously. “Yes. Yes, I am.” I start walking up the stairs when I feel a hand grab my arm. I look to see who grabbed me, and shocked that it was Dawn. “Before you go up and have sex with my sister, allow me to suggest a counteroffer. In case you’re looking for something newer. Y’know, I just turned 18.”

Buffy, livid by her sister’s actions, comes down the stairs in a huff. “Are you really trying to take away my fuck buddy?” she asks Dawn. Dawn shrugs, “I’m just giving him the option. He could say no and have sex with you, he could say yes and have sex with me instead,” she turns to me and adds, “by the way I’m also a virgin, whereas Buffy has had sex with no less then 2 actual vampires,” she turns back to face her sister, “or maybe, just maybe, he thinks he’s man enough to handle both Summers sisters.”

The two sisters turn towards me. “Well, what do you say?” Dawn asks. This is an interesting proposition. I don’t control everything all at once. Sometimes I just let the story happen and I make changes when I want. So this caught me off-guard. I consider my options.

Buffy was my intended target, and this outfit of hers is definitely giving her some brownie points. But Dawn is right. Unless I change this world, which let’s face it I can, Buffy would have had sex before whereas Dawn was still a virgin by the end of the show. So this barely legal teen is offering her virginity to me. She’s got slightly bigger boobs than Buffy, with Buffy having 32B and Dawn having 34B boobs, but that’s not enough to be the deciding factor. Granted, I can just make either of them bigger, but let’s take that off the table.

Then, there’s the third option. A threesome. She said if I was man enough handle both of them, which I am. And even if I wasn’t I can just make myself. But do I really want a threesome right now or is my mind dead set on just one. It’s crazy to think that I’m even considering saying no to this option, but I am.