Brownies placate my uncertainty

Despite the minor distraction of my mum being back, the nervous excitement was still in full flow as I climbed the stairs to Charley’s apartment on Friday.

The door was already open as I turned the corner, and Charley stood there, leaning against the door frame. She was wearing a pink apron over her t-shirt, dirtied with flour and what appeared to be some sort of cake or brownie batter.

“You’re early,” she remarked with a smirk, as I walked up towards her. And then she stood on her tiptoes to peck me on the lips.

I blinked back at her after she leaned away. Looks like the kiss that morning wasn’t a one-off. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Sorry? I wasn’t complaining” she chuckled. “You’re so cute. I’m making brownies, wanna help?”

She sauntered off back towards her kitchen, and with the kiss and the compliment rattling around in my head I ended up following her on her heels like a puppy. “Yeah, sure.”

“I have two bowls of mixture, so you just get to work stirring one and I’ll do the other.” She handed me one of the bowls. “Shouldn’t need to do it too long, just till it’s smooth. All the ingredients are already in there.”

“Yes ma’am.” After a minute or two of intense stirring action, we poured the mixture onto a massive tray and put it in the oven.

“Just under half an hour,” Charley said as she set a timer on her phone and plopped down in the seat across from me at her dining table. “You get up to much this week?”

“Eh, not really. Had to recharge my social battery after all those hangouts recently.”

She raised an eyebrow. “All those hangouts, meaning when you helped me move in, and a single pub trip with some uni friends?”

“We can’t all be extroverts,” I grumbled. “Baby steps.”

“Oh sure,” she giggled. “Well, I’m really proud of you.”

I remembered my mum’s text, which I still hadn’t replied to. “There is one other potential outing in the cards. My mum is back in London. She texted me, asking if I wanted to meet up.”

Charley immediately became serious. “Oh, shit. That’s something. When was the last time you guys…?”

“A while back. It was during your first year at Stanford.”

She whistled. “Over three years ago? Damn.”

“Yep.”

“Are you gonna go?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Yeah, why not? It’s not like I hate her or anything. And it’s free food.”

“Fair enough.” She hesitated. “We’ve never really talked about her, you and me.”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“It must be weird, knowing you have a parent out there but not really having much of a relationship with them,” she said. “I know it would fuck with me if … well, you know.”

If her dad was still alive. “I guess,” I replied. “I was pretty mad at both of them when they split up. But as soon as you and your mum came into the picture, it was never like I was left wanting for a family.”

“Our mum,” Charley corrected.

“Right,” I smiled. Her comment made me feel strangely warm inside.

“Well, I’m glad you feel that way,” she continued. “I know it was always the same for me, with you and Dad.” She paused. “And … I hope you know you can always talk to me about this stuff, if you want.”

“Oh okay,” I grinned. “You’re in the therapy business now?”

She smirked back. “I’m in the amazing big sister business.”

“No need to remind me,” I laughed. “I remember your ‘big sister’ hospitality very well from the last time I was here.”

“There’s really no need to bring that up,” she groaned, blushing slightly.

We sat there talking and laughing for a while, but before we knew it, Charley’s phone was ringing as the timer went off. She rushed over to pull the tray out of the oven and cut us both a slice each.

I followed her over to the kitchen counter to try it, and as soon as I took the first bite, I was immediately blown away by rich, chocolatey flavor and gooey texture, with a hint of salt and something else I couldn’t put my finger on. “Holy shit. These are amazing.”

“I know right?” Charley replied with a smile. “It’s a secret Kim recipe.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Gatekeeping it, huh?”

“There’s a lot I’ll share with you, but some things you have to keep to yourself.” She paused. “Though speaking of sharing, we should do a movie night again soon. Last Wednesday was really nice.”

Oh sure, it was the movie that was nice. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about the fact that we hadn’t addressed how different that night had made things. But what I _was _sure about was that I definitely wasn’t brave enough to be the one to bring it up, with the risk of making things weird.

“As long as it’s not When Harry Met Sally again, I’m down,” I said.

“Fine, we can go for something more your speed,” she snorted. “Detective Pikachu? Or the Minecraft movie isn’t streaming yet, but maybe we could pirate it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you really think that little of me?”

“Oh, Luke,” Charley laughed softly, and reached over to brush a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “You know I think the world of you.”