Breakfast with a Goddess

You almost begrudge Mrs Park her radiant glow and boundless vigor as she merrily glides around the kitchen the next morning, stacking pancakes in front of her daughters while you sleepily poke at a grapefruit half. The woman marathon fucked all goddamn night, and you aren't too proud to admit you know that because you peeked again. It wasn't even a sexual thing for you anymore; you'd taken care of business in the downstairs bathroom quite handily, thankyouverymuch. You simply couldn't believe that the two of them were still humping away out in the pool. So every hour well beyond midnight, you just had to poke your head outside to boggle in wonder at the sight of them still going at it with all the unflagging sexual energy of an entire dorm's worth of horny co-eds. They were showing no signs of slowing down by the time you finally crashed. The only indication that they ever did separate themselves being the deeply contented snoring coming from the master bedroom and the fertility goddess in the fuzzy robe that stands before you, looking for all the world like the most well-fucked woman in existence.

Still, you aren't so groggy that you aren't struck by how bizarre it is to be having breakfast with people who straight up did not exist a month ago. Before your and Jenny's meddling with magic, Mrs Park had been a former beauty queen so lacking in motherly inclinations that the idea she even gave birth to one child was almost ridiculous. Not only did you change her from a coldhearted alcoholic into one of the warmest, most nurturing people you've ever met, the enchanted milk you slipped her had a profound impact on her feelings towards children. Because while Jenny was once a neglected single child, she's now the eldest of six goddamn kids, with another on the way. And judging by the combination of Mrs Park's otherworldly fecund body, Mr Park's tendency to completely blow through vasectomies, and the fact that they apparently hump in pools all goddamn night, the chances of a number eight joining the mix seem pretty fuckin' good.

Hannah, the middle school aged sister, glances up at her mother. "Is Dad still asleep?"

Mrs Park smiles at that, affectionately patting her daughter on the head. Fuck, you have no idea what company made her robe, but the fact that that thin belt is able to keep it closed around her huge pregnant swell and enormous, soft breasts is a miracle. With that level of engineering they should be making space shuttles, not clothes. "Daddy needs his rest, dear; he works very hard."

Goddamn right he does, woof.

Jenny quietly eats her breakfast with the poised air only a confident eldest sibling can have, unphased by the fact that her youngest sister Charlotte has somehow managed to smear syrup over everything. Like, everything. The young girl glances over at you, gasping as something vitally important strikes her. "Ashley! My birthday is next month!"

You gasp back. "Oh true?"

She nods emphatically, as serious as only a child discussing her birthday can be. "Yes. You can't come though. This year is only family."

"Aw, really?"

"Uh-huh. You came last year, because that was for friends too. But this year is just family. Next year will be friends again! That's in...um..."

Jenny breezily cuts in. "A year and a month."

"Yeah!" Charlotte leans across the table, giving you a consoling and very sticky pat on the hand. "Don't be sad, Ashley. You can still get me a present."

Hannah 'tsk's at that, the middle schooler very clearly modelling more than a few of her older sister's mannerisms. "Charlie! You can't just ask for presents!" The youngest daughter sticks her tongue out, prompting an eyeroll from Hannah before she gives you an embarrassed grin. "So, um, Ash, is it true that you and Isabelle are girlfriends now?!"

You give the girl a big thumbs up as Jenny boops the top of her sister's head with her spoon. "What about you, huh? Still breaking hearts in homeroom?"

Hannah bats away Jenny's spoon attacks, trying her best to still present a confident and mature air in front of her sister's cool friend. "All the boys want me to be their girlfriend. It's not my fault; they're silly."

You nod sagely. "Yes, that's very true Hannah. Boys are silly."

The girl grins in intense delight over your agreeing with her as Jenny lifts of up arms to indulge in a bit of a stretch. "Want to lay out for a while, Ash? I don't have practice until later this afternoon."

Oh God. The thought of returning so soon to the scene of the Park's passionate love fest is enough to start your ears burning. Luckily you've got a good excuse. "Can't; Gotta hit the gym."

You rise from your seat as Mrs Park makes a disappointed noise, reaching out to give you a little half hug. "Well it was so nice seeing you, Ash!" Jesus, the sheer amount of boob being squished between the two of you is borderline obscene. Whatever you do, do not think about the fact that last night you were watching those very breasts bobbling up and down in the water, fat and glistening and...

Okay. Seriously. Get to the gym right now and sweat these thoughts out of your system. Too much is going on in your life right now to allow Sexy Moms to be added to your list of problems.