Botnet

“Alright,” Gil said, willing the body swapping apparatus to let him loose, “Keilnei, if you’d be so kind as to go pick up Snow, that’d be great. Take Boco; you remember where we dropped her off, right?”

Keilnei nodded, checked her rifle before leaving, and took the capture sphere. The plump new girl looked wild eyed at the prospect of being left alone with Gil. She tried to follow Keilnei, trailing along like a lost puppy.

“You, stay for a moment.” Gil said, walking over to the storage box and examining the new contents, “If you go with Keilnei you’ll either be delaying a rescue operation or probably be seen by multiple supervillains. We might as well have a chat, unless you’d rather just disappear into the night.”

Charlotte seemed to take that as a threat, which was its own kind of annoying. He could be a very nice guy, but Gil was a bit amped up at the moment and she was mostly a distraction.

He felt a bit better when he confirmed that the soul pact binding was currently unused, at least. New retinue members included Nessa, Missy, Boulder, and Charlotte. Charlotte’s capture type was listed as mission reward, which explained why anyone had bothered with a random tier 1 minor name.

“So, Charlotte, I imagine you’ve had an eventful night.” He said, picking up a bit of smoked meat and chewing on it. “You want to tell me about it? Also, does Waffle House exist in this region?”

Charlotte gave him a familiar expression, part fear, part confusion. It had been a legitimate question. He didn’t remember details, but he knew America had a place called Waffle House that would probably be open even in a place like Brockton Bay.

“Uh… no?” She said, like she was talking to a madman, “I think that’s more a south thing? They’d probably get overrun by the Merchants if they did open up here.”

“Damn.” He said, scratching at his beard. “Snow is a great cook, but a good diner would be great for this conversation. I’m well aware of the effect my lifestyle has on newcomers.”

As he spoke, he checked the new cards he’d gotten with a satisfied smile, and the new missions he had. Fiona Belli was a stacked T2 blonde with a few moderately useful tags, and Azula was a tier 5 who had almost as many positive tags as she had implicit warnings about her being an evil madwoman. Luckily, the power swap didn’t come packaged with personality changes so he’d be able to largely sidestep the negative aspects. He quickly determined he wasn’t going to do either of the other missions today. The next four hours before the portal closed could be safely allocated to clean up and packing to go.

“Um. I promise I won’t share any secrets about you or whatever.” Charlotte said, “If you let me go home, I’ll just keep my mouth shut.”

“Sure, go for it.” Gil said, “I’d like to point out that I can be a pretty damn handy friend to have, especially in a city like this, but I don’t want people working for me if they aren’t willing.”

Gil was fairly sure that many people would disagree with that characterization of some of his cohorts throughout the ages, such as Candress and Nessa, but he was serious. It wasn’t a high bar, but it upset him to see people he relied upon in a state of distress. There were definitely options for bindings and perks that would puppeteer the body or **** compliance with pain and fear, but he avoided them when he could, as well as those among his fellow testers who reveled in that playstyle.

“I…” Charlotte seemed to deflate. “Are you a superhero, or a villain?”

Gil held up a hand and waggled it noncommittally.

“Probably both? So probably more the villain than the hero by this world’s standards.” He said, perfectly casual, “I hurt people, I work towards my own wellbeing, and I’m pretty comfortable working with anyone. One of mine just joined the Merchants, as you know, and I’m still deciding whether or not to pull her out. I generally avoid getting civilians involved, and let my agents have quite a lot of leeway in how they work. Your city is a bit fucked, frankly, so I doubt I’ll be a net negative.”

Gil was perfectly happy to let people assume he was better than he was, but he could tell that Charlotte wasn’t quite naive enough to assume he was a crusading hero of righteousness. Maybe she could be convinced that Keilnei was based on how she clung to the Draenei, but not Gil. Better to set realistic expectations.

“Can you keep my family safe?” She asked, quietly, “My Zayde refuses to leave town, or else we’d already have evacuated. We live in one of the safer areas, but…”

“But that didn’t keep you out of whatever trouble Keilnei pulled you out of tonight?” Gil guessed. “She’s a good girl. I don’t think I can afford to drop off a full time bodyguard at your house, but I can probably get you a phone line you can call when you need help. More than that will be dependent on what you can do for me. I don’t know what that may be yet, but I know it’s a lot more than you might think.”

“Like what?” Charlotte asked, and Gil could tell she wasn’t assuming anything good.

He raised an eyebrow and decided to go into the deep end immediately. He might as well; she wasn’t a threat to him, and it would be best to stress test her sooner rather than later.

“Well, I could swap your mind with a superpowered member of the Fenrir’s chosen, kill that woman while she’s in your body, and then use you as a bodyguard and soldier in my own wars.” Gil said, laying out the plan, “It would save me resources elsewhere, but you personally would probably need to follow me elsewhere and go through some rebranding, or get some magical cosmetic surgery from my associate so we can approximate your current look while acting as a cape here. You’d inherit her powers and skills, but not her actual personality which is the most objectionable part of the woman in question. In return, I’d have my agents here in Brockton go out of their way to keep your family safe for as long as you do your part in return. How and if you explain this to them is up to you.”

Charlotte stared at him, perhaps trying to figure out if he was joking. Eventually she seemed to conclude that he wasn’t. She took a deep breath, and Gil held up his hand.

“No worries if you decide not to. That’s just one example.” Gil said, “An **** one, at that, representing a single opportunity that having someone like you presents in this precise moment to someone like me. You’ve got until Keilnei returns to decide what to do. Now then, I’m going to pop out for a moment and see if anyone’s called me. No service in here at all.”

He held up his burner phone, stepped through the blue portal, and was pleased to see that Panacea had indeed texted him back.

“I’m willing to hear you out.” The text said, “If you try anything my sister will be here to rip your head off.”

“I’ll see if I can make it over there, but I might need to call you back another week.” He responded, “I’ll need to wait for my transportation to be available, or you can send someone to pick me up at the Leviathan memorial. I can’t make any promises right now, but I’ll take a look.”

••••••••••

Acquire a piece of stolen tinker tech and return it to the Skyblock.

Reward - 2 credits, jailbreak spike, jailbreak spike unlocked for purchase

Jailbreak Spike- Allows an inanimate object to work in a setting that has different physics, and unlocks any limits on its use such as tests of worthiness, genetic locks, or passwords.

Security Breach: Kill, capture, or otherwise neutralize Othala.

Reward - 5 Credits, Harley Quinn card, Rose of Courtly Romance

Courtly Romance: choose one target, and you will enter a courtly romance with them which will continue until you have sex with them or you mistreat them in any way. While the courtly romance is in play, gifts you give them and substantial deeds done in their name will cause them to permanently become more physically and emotionally attracted to you regardless of their existing feelings. Things which they specifically request from you will have double the effect. The target will eventually be so besotted with you that refusing to sleep with them will count as mild ****, ending the Courtly Romance in either case.

••••••••••

Less than half an hour later, a young woman in a white minidress, gold crown, and knee high boots swooped out of the sky to land next to the memorial. Gil nodded to Charlotte, reminded her to wait for Keilnei to return, and walked up to the superheroine. He wasn’t all gussied up as Nomad. After all, Panacea had already seen his face.

“Glory Girl, right?” He said, “Your sister told me you’d pick me up.”

The woman, quite pretty and almost certainly 18 or a little older, eyed Gil up and down. She didn’t look impressed. Gil, in turn, took a good look at her. More than anything, she looked like an idealized high school cheerleader with the way her clothes clung to her ample chest and emphasized her figure. He wondered how much of that was before the retcon. She’d probably already been going for a vaguely Princess adjacent look; he’d never know if she was already a bombshell blonde or not. Some part of him mourned that lost knowledge, and wished he could get something akin to the flash of former faces he saw at the Bazaar.

“Yeah,” she said, looking around. “Are you alone? My sister said you had some other people with you.”

“Keilnei and Snow are elsewhere,” Gil said, much more quietly, “Believe it or not, I didn’t spend my evening staring at my phone and hoping for a response. Now let’s go, I’m already drawing enough attention by getting a ride from the local cape.”

“You chose the pickup location.” Glory Girl said, raising a single unreasonably perfect eyebrow. “You decided to make it a public spot.”

“Yeah, because I didn’t want you to think I was trying to lure you into a trap or something.” Gil said. “I kinda assumed you’d be a bit more paranoid, to be honest.”

Glory Girl snorted, and looked around. It was a perfunctory sort of gesture, as if she felt the need to look out for an ambush only once the possibility had been brought up. She blinked a lot, and Gil realized she was probably as exhausted as her sister. Rose was being run ragged as a member of the Wards; if New Wave was at half strength and took their job at all seriously, they were probably just as busy. Add on personal tragedy, and it checked out.

“It’s fine.” She said, “I’m invulnerable. But sure, let’s go.”

She grabbed hold of Gil and hefted him into a piggy back ride. She didn’t seem to have the slightest difficulty doing so, which made sense. Supposedly she was the classic flying brick style of superheroine, the kind who could fly around, take a hit, and dish one out. She had some kind of fear or awe aura as well according to Rose, but Gil didn’t think she was using it at the moment.

So far she seemed inclined to treat him like a doctor coming to see her dad instead of as a threat, which was a dynamic he would prefer to maintain for as long as he could manage it. That was also why he was particularly careful with where he put his hands so as to avoid groping her or appearing to try to **** her. He could be a gentleman, when it suited him.

“Are you ok?” Gil asked, keeping his voice gentle. “I can’t imagine it’s been easy for you all.”

Victoria glanced over her shoulder.

“I’d really rather not talk about how awful everything is with a stranger.” She said, “Help my dad, and then maybe I’ll be a bit friendlier.”

Gil laughed at that, just a hint bitterly.

“I do try to be useful.” He said, “You should know that I might not be able to do anything.”

“If you’re fucking with us…” Glory Girl said, her tone sharpening.

“Then what?” Gil asked, “You won’t pay me? I certainly hope you’re not about to threaten someone offering to do pro bono work.”

She grunted, accepting the point grudgingly. She almost certainly had been about to threaten him, probably with a broken arm or something. Gil spent the rest of the fifteen minute flight idly wondering who might be the main character of this little super teen drama. He was leaning towards YA as the setting’s genre, which meant the whole world was probably fucked. Glory Girl struck him as a reasonable foil for someone who “wasn’t like other girls,” given that she was conventionally attractive, part of a superhero team, and at least slightly bitchy.

Maybe Panacea? The short, freckled girl he’d met earlier in the day had seemed like the sort to be devoured by a pretty sister’s shadow. Skitter was another distinct possibility, as a “good” supervillainess, but it could be anyone, really. He tried not to go too far into the reeds; he didn’t have anywhere near enough information to speculate productively. His current conjectures were far more in the realm of stereotypes and wild guesswork than anything actionable.

They arrived at the house with its slightly overgrown yard and Gil hopped off immediately. He let Glory Girl take the lead, and walked into a house that was quieter than he was expecting. He’d kinda expected to have an entire clan’s worth of blonde bombshells breathing down his neck throughout this whole process. Instead, it was just the two sisters watching him like a hawk. He internally rolled his eyes. Definitely teenagers.

Panacea was definitely still recognizable, even before factoring in her outfit. Her lips were a bit poutier and her hair seemed to be behaving itself far better, but she was still absolutely covered in freckles and hadn’t spontaneously become much curvier. Nor had she actually warmed to Gil much, despite inviting him into her home.

The girls silently escorted him to a living room, where a man sat in a recliner stuffed with additional pillows to wedge him in place. Flashbang, most likely.

“So, is the rest of the team aware of me?” Gil asked, unable to keep a hint of disapproval out of his voice. “This is looking increasingly like you two unilaterally decided to invite a guy that at least one of you seems to think might be a supervillain into your home.”

Glory Girl’s neutral expression shifted into outrage, and Panacea’s already sour face screwed up further. Gil ignored them and walked over to Flashbang, whose eyes tracked his movements with a level of alertness Gil hadn’t expected from a man with severe brain damage. His mouth was set in a hard line, clearly unimpressed.

“Hello sir.” Gil said, gently, “I’m going to be honest. Your daughters are a bit foolish, but you got lucky. I don’t intend to hurt anyone in this family, and I genuinely want to help you if I can. I’m pretty sure the biggest barrier to entry is going to be your consent. There’s a price, and only you can pay it.”

Gil leaned in close to Flashbang and whispered, barely loud enough to be heard. He didn’t think the girls needed to hear this part.

“Will you sell me your soul if I can get you functional again?” Gil asked.

Flashbang looked at Gil and considered it. Seriously considered it logically, in a way Gil hadn’t seen since Rose. He was being offered snake oil; he knew what the price was, he didn’t know if it was actually going to pay off. At least not yet. He did cling to the fact that it was a contract; his wife was a lawyer, he knew a bit more about such things than most. He could hold Gil to his end of the bargain, ensuring that he really get healed and that Gil would not hurt or extract any additional price from Flashbang’s family.

Gil didn’t understand the slurred mumbling that came from Flashbang’s mouth. He was too busy being roughly pulled away from the man by an irate Glory Girl who held him tightly by his upper arm.

“Ok, that’s close enough.” She said, “How about you explain what you’re doing from here on out, while you’re doing it.”

Panacea knelt next to Flashbang’s chair and held his hand, which was a sweet gesture only slightly marred by the knowledge she was probably checking his vitals with her magic powers.

“No worries.” Gil said, “I don’t even need to look at the guy again. I know everything I need to come up with a treatment, assuming it’s within my power. I might come back another day if I need more information. We can discuss pay if everything works out, agreed?”

Gil stared pointedly at Glory Girl’s hand, which loosened slightly but didn’t actually let go. He would have preferred to handle it immediately, but Keilnei still had his tablet. He was here to diagnose and get an initial response, nothing more.

“What, that’s all?” Glory Girl asked, “You’re supposed to help him! You’ve been here for five minutes and you’re just leaving?”

“Yep.” Gil said, giving the room his best shit eating grin, “These things can take time. I’m not going to give you a timeline, because it would just be bullshit if I did, but if we are very lucky I might have a fix pretty quickly.”

“And we are just supposed to trust you?” Panacea asked, voice laced with venom. Clearly she thought he was just fucking with them. He rolled his eyes.

“Nah. You probably won’t see me again until I’ve got a fix. Toodles.”

Gil vanished, deciding to sacrifice an hour of his remaining time for effect. These girls would have probably eaten up the time pestering him and blocking his path anyway.

••••••••••

“Fuuuuuck.” Gil groaned.

He fruitlessly tapped the Piura card again, eliciting another negatory chime.

“Target not captured.” Flashed across the tablet’s screen.

He had, it seemed, fallen into a brutally pedantic loophole. Flashbang had agreed to be captured on the condition that his brain damage be fixed. Gil was fairly certain that brain damage this severe counted as a character tag, which could be wiped away by transforming the man, apparently named Mark, with a character card.

The problem? He needed to be captured if Gil was going to transform him with a card, because that counted as selling him. It didn’t matter that the very act of using the card was both consensual and would instantly capture the man. He wasn’t in the retinue yet, so paws off.

That didn’t mean that he couldn’t fix the problem, of course. It just meant that he did t have an easy fix ready to go. He pursed his lips and considered his options. Half of them would involve carting the man away from Brockton for treatment in another world, which would be problematic at best. The other half were a list of equally hypothetical cures he could come back with from other worlds or the Bazaar.

Gil sighed. He didn’t have time to waste. He had a few hours left to make something happen. He’d also largely committed to New Wave for his kingmaker mission, since Flashbang didn’t want him hurting the Dallon or Pelham families, but he could work with that.

••••••••••

And that’s all for now! I’ll try to get the exit, skyblock, bazaar, and dungeon segments out as I write them but that’ll just happen as it happens. Three polls:

Next World:

https://strawpoll.com/kogjR8EXKg6

Credit spending:

https://strawpoll.com/7MZ0kLwqGgo

And finally, the current status of Tony and Sally when Gil runs into them at the Bazaar.

https://strawpoll.com/ajnE1mYR0nW