Blondie's Flower

Blondie wanted to trim her bush. She was debating whether if it also wasn't really necessary keeping around. She wanted Dagwood to do it during the weekend but her husband fell asleep before she could even ask him. She ran her fingers along the edges as she contemplated her decision. She knelt down with her knees apart and placed her hands on her waist before she started.

"That blue lyme grass is gonna shade your verbena, Blondie," said Herb. Blondie looked over her shoulder and saw Herb, their next-door neighbor, leaning over their picket fence that separated their gardens.

"I know, Herb, I know," said Blondie with a snide grin. Herb Woodley was her husband's best friend. He and Dagwood were also carpool buddies, golf partners, bowling teammates and constant foils to each other's shenanigans. Tootsie Woodley, Herb's wife, was Blondie's best friend. She was her business partner, fellow food enthusiast, and close confidant. Although, the two sets of best friends went well with each other, Blondie and Herb did not.

"You should probably pair your roses with the quartz rose verbena. They go well together," he added. Herb, just like Blondie, was also a green thumb. His garden knowledge was only complemented by his penchant to "borrow" power tools from Dagwood. It drove her husband nuts when Herb never bothered returning a single item.

"Herb, I don't think you know beans about roses," Blondie said in contempt. She didn't like it whenever he offered contrasting advice to her gardening skills.

"Well, suit yourself. Waste of time to cover those pretty flowers if you ask me," Herb said as he shrugged his shoulders. Blondie thought that he was absolutely right. She wanted to get rid of the spiky lyme grass because it didn't go well with her rose patch. She was particularly fond of the yellow roses and the golden hue it exudes whenever the sunlight hit them at just the right spot.

"Well, I didn't ask, so there," Blondie said as she stood up with her arms crossed. She was slightly breathing harder as she stood toe to toe with the slightly taller man. She was wearing a half shirt underneath her denim cutoff overalls. A slight cleavage from her wonderful breasts peeked out as she breathed hard from her seething anger at her neighbor.

"Geez, Blondie, relax! I was only trying to help," Herb said as he brought his arms up in frustration. She hated how he always made Blondie seemed to be at fault when it was his condescension that infuriated her. In her silent fit, she appeared flustered and felt hot. A mental image appeared in her head. She pictured herself grabbing Herb close to her face and kissing him passionately. Herb would then push her away and rip her overalls off with such ferocity that she fell flat on her bum on her garden soil. She pictured Herb ravaging her among the colorful foliage. This sent a tingle down her spine and made her even madder. She stormed inside of her house and slammed the door shut.

Herb went inside his home as well. In truth, he loved tormenting Blondie. He loved torturing her so much he had made it into an art form. He knew she didn't appreciate being talked down to especially with things that she liked. He also knew the exact times Blondie would be tending her garden that he deliberately took some days off from work just to annoy her some more. He also noticed that Blondie had been getting much sexier recently. He secretly had a crush on his best friend's wife and it was even harder for him to avoid her now that she had somehow become even more stunning and drop-dead gorgeous than ever before. He took one of the pictured frames of the Bumsteads and the Woodleys from his mantle. He stared at Blondie's beautiful smiling image. As he imagined her naked, he unzipped his pants and pleasured himself.

Blondie was trying to calm herself inside her house. She didn't even know why she was so angry at him to begin with. But her body was undeniably warm all over. She was sweating slightly and her vagina was wet from moisture. She wasn't sick. Her body was telling her about her innate desire to be more sexually active. Blondie was horny.

The doorbell rang. She immediately thought of two people as she hurried to open the door. She thought that if it was Herb, she would like for him to apologize to her. She realized the silliness of it all for he didn't even have a reason to apologize for. She also thought of Mr. Dithers. She desperately wanted him to be behind the door for she wanted to ask him about the Valentine's gift she received from him the other day. She felt even more silly as she played with the feeling of having a crush just like she did when she was in high school. She opened the door and it was Mr. Beasley.

"Good morning, Blondie," said the postman. Mr. Beasley was the neighborhood's mailman. In his hurried attempt to catch his morning commute, Dagwood would almost always collide with Mr. Beasley at their front door as he delivered the Bumsteads' family mail. She found it a bit unusual to see him deliver mail at a later time of the morning. Blondie smiled at Mr. Beasley as she took the daily mail from him.

"Hello, Mr. Beasley. Little late today it seems," Blondie said. Mr. Beasley was about Herb's height and had the same bushy mustache. And much like Herb's slightly thinning mane, Mr. Beasley was slowly balding. He noticed Blondie's flustered face as he handed her the family's letters.

"Had a little problem with a package. You look a bit worried there. Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Oh, it's nothing really," Blondie said. "I was just trying to figure out what shrubs will go well with my roses."

"Hmm. Not really know much about gardens," Mr. Beasley said. "I had a grandmother who loved growing honey suckles and witch hazels. She said they looked pretty and it can take a lot of punishment. You can try that."

"That's actually not a bad idea, Mr. Beasley," she said. Witch hazels were known to survive the harshest elements. It might not compete with the roses for nutrients. "I will definitely think about it," she added.

"Were you thinking of anything else to go with your roses?" he asked.

"I was actually thinking of pairing it with Cephalocereus senilis," Blondie said.

"Ce-whatchamacallit?" Mr. Beasley asked. Blondie giggled as she tried to explain.

"It's called old man cactus. I like the way it contrasts with the roses. It's not as prickly as a regular cactus because it has shaggy white hairs instead," she said.

"Like an old man," Mr. Beasley said as he finished Blondie's sentence.

"Right! I ordered a few packets of seeds online. I'm expecting a package of it soon," she said.

"Speaking of packages, I have another package here for you. We had trouble sorting it out because it had no return address," he said as he handed over the brown box to Blondie.

"That must be it!" she said excitedly. She weighed the parcel with her hands. "That's strange. It feels much lighter than my usual garden orders."

"Only one way to find out," Mr. Beasley said. Blondie tore open the package and looked inside the box. She reached in and took out two pieces of white fabric from it.

"These are not seeds. These look like underwear," Blondie said as she tried to play coy. She blushed as she showed the contents to him. She almost forgot that she had also ordered lingeries from the Lingerie of the Month Club. The usual packages came with a return address which most likely meant that these were from another person.

"It looks like you have a secret admirer," Mr. Beasley said in jest. Blondie's heart skipped a beat. She wondered if it was from Mr. Dithers.

"I'm gonna try it on!" Blondie said as she skipped to the kitchen in excitement. "Stay right there, Mr. Beasley! I may need your opinion."

"But...," said Mr. Beasley as he watched Blondie go through the kitchen door. He was cut off before he could say that he was still technically on the clock. He whistled nervously as he waited. A part of him wanted to see Blondie wearing a bathing suit. Blondie was definitely the most beautiful woman on his entire work route. Or she could probably be even prettier than anyone he had ever seen. He was also starting to notice that Blondie's body was getting more athletic and shapelier. He went in the house and sat on the living room sofa as he fidgeted his thumbs in anticipation.

"So, what do you think?" Blondie said as she finally stepped out of the kitchen door. Mr. Beasley blushed and gulped at what he saw. Blondie was wearing a white, sheer bandeau and a matching thong. The beautiful, statuesque blonde looked almost naked as she slowly walked towards the visibly shaken mailman. The almost see-through top accentuated her large breasts and deep cleavage while clearly showing her pert pink nipples and areolas. She looked exactly like a genuine swimsuit supermodel or even a glamour pin-up girl.

"I definitely did not order this. It's a size smaller than what I usually ask for," Blondie said as she brought both of her hands behind her signature curly, golden blonde locks. The skimpy two-piece bikini revealed even more skin as she did this pose as Mr. Beasley stared at her smooth armpits, curvy underboobs, and toned physique. The thong showed an enticing cameltoe that was delicately topped with a neatly sculpted golden triangular tuft of pubic hair. She turned around and showed how high the bottom rode up her perfectly round buttocks as she adjusted the thong to show more of her ass and long legs. It took Mr. Beasley a tremendous amount of willpower not to reach out and touch the almost naked beautiful woman standing barely a foot away from him.

"I-it looks really nice on you, Blondie," Mr. Beasley said as sweatdrops started to appear around his forehead. Blondie smiled as she flaunted her bodacious body towards the clearly smitten mailman. Mr. Beasley nervously shuffled in his seat and decided to stand up.

"Umm, I gotta go, Blondie. I still have a route to finish," as he awkwardly walked backwards and fumbled at the doorknob before eventually exiting Blondie's home. Blondie was a bit proud of herself as she thought that she definitely still had what it took to attract men. Mr. Beasley was still jittery as he rushed to deliver the rest of the mail to the other houses within the block. He did his best to memorize Blondie's beautiful body so he could masturbate to her as soon as he got home from work.

Blondie, still dressed with the skimpy two-piece, stepped out to her garden once again to contemplate about what to finally plant alongside her roses.

She thought of Herb and his idea of rose quartz verbenas. It was very tempting and easy to match but it had already been done by numerous gardens. She thought of Mr. Beasley's witch hazel suggestion. She was intrigued by how the colors between them would look. She finally thought of the old man cactus which reminded her of Mr. Dithers. This was her original idea and she really was very interested in seeing how the two plants would go with each other despite the physical differences and cultivating patterns.

As she tried to decide, she saw a small bumblebee approach one of the golden yellow roses. She smiled as the bee went inside the flower's petals to begin nature's process of pollination.